Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: The Chair, Conch Shell, Independent Observer (late with reasonable excuse) Coyote (late with no excuse)
Absent (with regrets, no excuse): 4th Dwarf, Woodsy
Absent (no regrets, reasonable excuse): Agatha
Guests: Harmony, Painted Stick
1. Oh, the irony
The Chair notes that this is the first ESI emergency meeting that both he and Conch Shell have attended in a long time and muses as to the coincidental absence of all of the other ESI members at this point. Given both the Chair and Conchie no longer corner the market on the whole “passive-aggressive” thing, the meeting moves on to other matters.
2. Whither the Usual Spot
Those ESI’s present and accounted for (ahem) note that the Usual Spot is less busy than usual and speculate whether the it has lost its hipness with the local denizens after more than a decade of holding top spot on the drag.
Harmony: It’s about time this place got bounced from its status. You can’t ride on your laurels forever. Much like certain blogs, ahem, this place is getting stale and dated.
Conch Shell: Where are the hipsters going, then?
Harmony: [redacted] seems to have the edge these days, though I think it smells like pee.
Chair: Has Coyote been marking other spots around town, again?
Discussion ensues about finding a new Usual Spot without much consensus.
3. Whither the [redacted]
Conch: Did you see where [redacted] is looking at wedding rings again?
Chair: I hope she knows what she’s doing? The last time didn’t turn out so well.
Harmony: Three-times the charm, I say.
Chair: Which means she has to go through all this for another full turn before she gets it right.
Conch: And she hasn’t even finished all the messiness with [redacted].
Debate ensues about whether one needs to race to the “three-times the charm” spot or does one pretend to make a go of it with all the interim relationships.
Chair: Some have managed to make it “two-times the charm”. Look at [redacted] and [redacted].
After a momentary pause followed by a chorus of laughter, it is agreed that we wish [redacted] all the best with [redacted] and move on to the next agenda item.
4. Whither the blog
Picking up on Harmony’s passing reference to “stale and dated”, discussion moves to the Ottawa blog scene.
Conch: I see Megan has decided to stop blogging.
Chair: I liked her analogy to breaking up. It’s so true. You have to know when to pull the plug. I also see that some anonymous commenter made a swipe at us along the same line.
Conch: Have blogs become passez in Ottawa?
Harmony: In Ottawa, more like passez-composer. Everyone tweets now. Even Zoom. If you can’t express it in 140 characters or less, it’s not worth saying.
Chair: Maybe CB radio will make a come-back. I think social networking needs to return to its roots. Plus it has a better lingo to work with.
Harmony: That’s a big 10-4.
Chair: Have you seen this blog? My question is, how come none of us are profiled in it? It claims to be a feature about strangers.
Harmony: Well, no one is stranger than you lot.
Conch: Someone should do an outreach. Maybe it’ll help re-brand us.
Chair: [in a CB drawl] The others may tell us to pull the hammer back on this one. May have to wait for the big 10-4 before we get to beat the bushes.
Chair breaks into the song “Convoy”, Conch Shell gets up and leaves. Shortly thereafter, the IO, Coyote, and Painted Stick join the group.
5. Whither the mayoralty race
Discussion ensues regarding the 20 fielded candidates to run the O-town’s city hall for next four years.
IO: Do we need adopt an ESI position?
Chair: I think Coyote has already. Or at least we know who he’s not likely endorsing.
Harmony: Me thinks Coyote doth protest too much.
Coyote: Doth you?
Harmony: Yeth
Chair: The bigger question to me is: who’s Coyote going to kick around come November? Things aren’t looking good for Lex Luthor.
IO: Jimmy Olsen better watch it. Coyote doesn’t suffer fools gladly.
Coyote: I hang out with you lot.
Chair: We can only hope Andy Hayden makes a comeback.
IO: Duly noted.
Several motions get bantered back and forth on an official ESI position. In the end, we decide to defer any endorsements and order another round of drinks plus a shot of distemper for Coyote.
6. Other matters
The issue of PETA comes up in relation to Woodsy’s recent post. By unanimous vote, all ESI’s present support our intrepid photographer’s work and encourage her to continue to find similar subject matter for future blogging.
Having dispensed with the formalities, the meeting was adjourned.
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Showing posts with label Emergency Meeting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emergency Meeting. Show all posts
Thursday
Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2010-07-19
Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: 4th Dwarf, Woodsy, Aggie
Present: 4th Dwarf, Woodsy, Aggie
1) Nobody blogging
It is noted that poor Coyote is carrying the blog and nobody else has blogged for weeks.
A: I would like to start again.
W: Me too, but I like to say “continue to blog”. It’s less negative.
4D and A agree.
A: Maybe using the camera is the key.
W: A picture with a couple of words is not so intimidating.
A: And maybe sketching...
Some discussion ensues about factors that limit blogging.
A: Then there’s perimenopause.
W: Or menopause, and 4D, how is your andropause?
4D: My andropause?
2) Vampires
A: Why are vampires so hot right now?
W: Because relationships suck?
Aggie groans. 4D pointedly does not.
A: Is it about gender power differences?
W: Huh?
A: In True Blood, vampires are an oppressed minority group, even though they are powerful beings. Like the white male narrative that they are now marginalized.
4D: Hmm. Maybe the Chair would like to come back to the blog as a vampire persona.
W: What is our official position on vampires?
4D: I don’t feel a need to have an official position.
W: What if Aggie and I do?
4D: [Shrugs and makes confusing hand gestures] Well... Why?
A: They seem to have taken on a cultural importance.
Some discussion ensues, but nothing is resolved on the vampire topic.
3) Coyote Carrying the Blog
A: Coyote is carrying the blog.
W: We should give him an award... Dinner and drinks from everyone else.
4D and Aggie agree and the motion is adopted by consensus.
A: Where is he?
W and 4D: It’s a mystery.
4) Back to Vampires
4D: Perhaps our official position on vampires could be reporting on who is not a vampire and who might be. For instance, our mayor Is not a vampire because he was captured on videotape outdoors during the day.
W: And we was married in a church.
A doesn’t seem to be fired up by this idea.
5) BOLO
A: Woodsy, how was Blog Out Loud Ottawa?
W: It was fun.
Sunday
Emergency Meeting Lite* and Spontaneous
In Thrall, Warwick GobleCS: Did [redacted]?
C: [redacted] rudimentary sense [redacted].
CS: Why [redacted]?
C: [redacted].
W: Too much [redacted].
C: I think we've gotten over the [redacted].
CS: Ya! [nothing redacted]
W, C, CS: laughter
C: Good to have them minutes done.
CS: Yes, let's eat!
*.5%
Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2010-02-19
Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: 4th Dwarf, Coyote, Woodsy, Aggie
Absent: Chair (without regrets, no excuse), Independent Observer (with regrets and excellent Canadian excuse), Conch Shell (with regrets, reasonable excuse)
1. Parsing Elginstreet.com's (crass) attempt to either dognap Coyote, take us over, or do something else: Did Matty actually read the blog before making the offer?
W: How much money are they offering? I say for $500k, we'll do it.
C: We should ask for one million dollars.
A: Between $500k and $1M, let's start at $1M
4D: Really. If they offered us any money at all we should take it.
C: What if they want editorial control?
[General laughter at the idea of any ESIs taking editorial direction from anyone.]
4D: If it is only Coyote that they want, should we tell them ,"No, but you can have the Chair"?
[All agree.]
2. How to support Aggie non-intrusively : best practices
A: Moving on to the next item...
[Woodsy intervenes in her indirect but persistent way to keep the agenda on track.]
A: This is good. ESI meetings, crafting, drinking, watching TV...
W: Above or below the blankets? [see RNDP 22]
4D: I think she means above the blankets.
A: Yes. Above the blanket.
3. Canal Skateway: Is the ice lousier this year, or is it just the Citizen?
A: These are the same people who said Gordon Lightfoot was dead.
W: The ice is not lousier.
4D: When I've been on it this year it's been in the condition I'd expect for the weather on the preceding days.
W: The Citizen is lousier.
A: Because [redacted] is [redacted].
4: The Olympics: The ESI's Official Position
4D: I don't think the Olympics are important enough for us to have an official position on.
C: Okay.
5: Vitamin D: The ESI's Official Position
A: I'm generally for pills.
W: No.
C: Yes.
4D: 3 out of 4 of us are pro-vitamin D, but I think there should be no official position on Vitamin D because it's not an area of our expertise.
A: I take vitamin D. I don't feel better, but I blame that on the Year of the Tiger.
5: To Twitter or not to Twitter
All: Not.
6: Official Positions
A: We could have an official position on positions.
W: What kind of positions?
4D: I don't think she's talking about yoga.
W: Oh ho. [Woodsy makes a suggestive smile and eyebrow waggle.]
7. Whither the Blog
A: Do we need an advisory board?
W, C and 4D: huh?
A: A group that could advise us on new directions, new technology, long-term planning, short-term planning?
Woodsy, Coyote and 4D endeavour to politely explain that they have no interest in taking direction from anyone else and doubt that any of the rest of us would pay attention to such a group.
W: We already get advice from people in the comments.
Aggie still thinks it is a good idea and suggests some specific names for board.
W: Zoom came to an emergency meeting and told us to just keep doing what we're doing. Megan came and said the same thing.
4D: On the one hand, I don't see the point because we won't pay any attention to them. We don't even pay attention to each other. On the other hand, our blog has become a public trust. Dare I say, a sacred public trust and perhaps we do need an external body to ensure we fulfill that trust.
[4D goes on to propose a mechanism that would address Aggie's proposal in a future posting. All agree.]
8: [Redacted]
4D: Do we have anything to say about Conch Shell commenting at [redacted]?
A: She's a free agent.
W & C: She can do whatever she likes.
4D: Yes, but do we want to encourage her to comment?
[This question is never answered because the conversation somehow is diverted to that old topic of how much more fun it was when we were metablogging the Fifth Muse. Woodsy reiterates that she doesn't get it because she wasn't around for all that. Aggie tries to explain with a diagram.]
Tuesday
Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2010-01-11
Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: 4th Dwarf, Coyote, Woodsy, Independent Observer, Conch Shell (late)
Absent: Chair (with regrets, no excuse), Aggie (with regrets, reasonable excuse)
No discussion of who will takes minutes. 4D just starts taking notes.
1. Dating Format
4D asks what date it is for his minutes. This sparks discussion of the date's noteworthy binary nature (example: 11/01/10) in some dating formats. This leads to a discussion of preferred formats for listing dates. 4D, Woodsy and Coyote all advocate for year-month-day format. IO says he prefers the standard Canadian day-month-year. It appears consensus is impossible until the others convince the IO they are not advocating the evil American month-day-year format and year-month-day is far more useful for sorting computer files.
Year-month-day is formally adopted as the Elgin Street Irregular's official format for dates.
Woodsy: Can we have a page listing the ESI's Official Positions?
4D: Yes
2. Ottawa Bloggers Workshop or Something
The people who did Blog Out Loud Ottawa in conjunction with the people who once in a while bring do the Ottawa Bloggers Breakfasts have put forward the idea of a having "something like a bloggy workshop".
W: One - I don't need a f-ing workshop. Two - will there be food and drink?
IO: More blogging, less workshopping.
C: Unless we're taking minutes.
4D: Should the ESI's host a session?
W: Commitment to blogging!
IO: That's like Tiger Woods hosting a workshop on fidelity.
W: Dating.
C: Which kind? Dating people or the kind we just talked about?
The ESIs brainstorm blogging areas of their expertise that other Ottawa bloggers know precious little about:
- Blogger stalking
- How to maintain your secret identity
- How to reveal your secret identity
- Fieldwork dos and don'ts
- Proper use of a back channel
- Conflict resolution
- Pimp your blog
- Proper use of Photoshop
- Choosing the right tank top
- How to run a contest
- When to engage an ethics counselor
3. The Chair
The ESIs gossip about why the Chair is not present and has not attended the last four emergency meetings. Nobody present makes the bullwhip sound.
W: We're not bringing Aggie up.
4D: Why not?
W: I promised her I'd protect her.
All present agree that Aggie deserves our unconditional support. And with regard to the Chair, we agree that while he isn't posting, his cam choices are excellent.
4. Jo Stockton's Lock-out
Background:
Jo Stockton's Blog Also a Talker has gone invitation only. No ESIs have received invitations. The ESIs share speculation that Ms Stockton may wish to be more frank about her work or personal life. Or perhaps her Man of Science has requested more privacy.
W: We'll have to remove her from our blog roll. Unless she invites us.
4D: I don't want to read an invite-only blog. It's like how you don't give people's private information to a cabinet minister. I don't want to be in a position where I might blurt out someone's secrets.
4D: There is still her vegan blog. What is it?
W: That makes me think of that song.
4D: It ain't me, Babe?
W: No. You're No Vegetarian 'Cuz You Eat My Meat.
5. Retirement and Hiatuses
The ESI's acknowledge that several local bloggers have recently announced their retirements or going on a hiatus. Someone asks about Aggie and the Chair.
CS: Aggie's not on hiatus, she's just tardy.
C: Megan has been talking about not blogging.
CS: How is she?
The others say that she appears to be pretty good. In a relationship and not blogging about it. Which might not be good for entertaining us, but is something we can all support for Megan's sake.
CS: And how about 5M? She gives us one paragraph for a whole year and it's loaded!
6: Is Blogging in its Sunset phase?
The IO suggests that blogging is in a new phase where it is being supplanted by other services like Twitter and that blogging, like mainstream media, is segmenting in narrow topic niches.
4D: I don't think blogging is changing, I think what you are reading is changing. Because I'm scanning all the local blogs and the mommy bloggers are still reporting every shit and burp.
C: Are they twittering them as well?
Nobody has an answer because the ESIs don't tweet.
CS: Is there any drama out there?
4D: You've got various bloggers complaining about their bitchy sisters and rotten baby daddies, but the only blogger with real, readable drama is Salted Lithium. [Shout-out to Gabriel - you are an awesome dad! And wise to only show your boy Star Wars and the Empire Strikes Back.]
7: Creating a Muse
Woodsy, Conch Shell, the IO and Coyote discuss a wacky idea that 4D just cannot get behind.
4D: There's no question that this group can take an idea and embellish it.
C: I'm not in, but go for it.
CS: We need Aggie.
IO: It could be fun.8: Woodsy's New Contest
Woodsy shares her idea for a new contest. Everyone is supportive. Woodsy reveals she would still like to do "Tea with Woodsy" but has not had time.
9: News of the Day
Proroguing:
C: What about proroguing the blog?
IO: Maybe we need recalibration.
4D: Please. No. I couldn't bear it if the Revolutionary New Dating Paradigm died on the order paper.
C: And you'd have to start all over? No. We're not proroguing the blog.
Hartman's Piano:
4D: Let's protest the stores that never had a piano in the first place.
Mayor Larry:
CS: Will he run again?
4D: Jim Watson is going to announce he's running tomorrow morning.
W: I'll vote for anyone who brings water taxis to Ottawa.
The Coyote Hunt:
It is unanimous that we oppose all coyote hunts and this is adopted as an official position of the ESIs.
10: Pumping up the Content
CS: I have things to say about real estate.
4D: We get a whack of hits when we say anything about OC Transpo.
11: Why are people not playing with us?
C: Have we gotten boring?
IO: Is it something we said?
Saturday
Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2009-09-19 [H1N1 and how to insult the ESIs]
Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: Agatha, 4th Dwarf, Coyote, Woodsy, Independent Observer (late)
Absent: Chair (with regrets, no excuse), Conch Shell (no regrets, reasonable excuse)
No discussion of who will takes minutes. 4D just starts taking notes.
1. H1N1 Emergency Plan
4D: Do we need a plan for H1N1?
W: I just need a bag to put your dead body in.
C: Garbage Bags are good enough for me.
4D: Right. Garbage Bags.
C: At what point does this plan diverge from our Zombie Attack plan?
4D: Good point. We could just do the relevant modifications to our Zombie Attack plan.
A: That way there's no redundancy.
C: Who wears the hard hat?
Agatha agrees we need a hierarchy. After a brief discussion it is unanimous that the unassuming Fourth Dwarf should be the ESI H1N1 Emergency Coordinator. It is then agreed that there should be a Back-up ESI H1N1 Emergency Coordinator. Someone hardy, with a cool head and no dependents. The Independent Observer is the unanimous choice.
There is then a brief discussion of where we will hold emergency meetings if the Usual Spot is not feasible. Those present acknowledge we may need to investigate teleconferencing. [Ed. note: Or perhaps we should have our avatars meet somewhere in Second Life?]
As though aware that an honour had been bestowed upon him, the IO arrives. He is briefed on the elements the ESI H1N1 Emergency Plan:
- Garbage bags
- Otherwise same as Zombie Attack Plan except for relevant modifications
- H1N1 Emergency Coordinator = 4D; Backup H1N1 Emergency Coordinator = IO
- Emergency meeting venue to be determined
2. How to Insult the ESIs
A certain suburban blogger posted this week that he was returning to his blog after deleting it following being made into a conversation piece by "some negative douchebags".
Could he be talking about someone else? Various members debate this possibility.
4D: Enough. He is talking about us.
But didn't he come to see that we are really not so bad? What was the exchange anyway? Did he call us crows or vultures? [Coyote: It was crows. "A murder of fucking crows".]
4D: Enough. Of course we are fine people and didn't do anything wrong. The real question is what should we do about his blog?
W: We should support him and welcome him back. Just like we did the mayor.
A: Should we suggest he might not have started on the right foot?
W: No!
4D: Should we engage in a dialogue on the misogynystic and sexist nature of the word "douchebag" as an insult?
W: Can you put in the minutes that Aggie is cringing?
4D: But seriously. The word refers to something that was a feminine hygiene product. It came to be associated with promiscuous women and the word was used as a synonym for "slut". Now it is used for mostly for men that are disliked and gets its sting from being associated with women's reproductive organs.
Woodsy proposes that we analyze insult words and determine which ones will not be sexist, racist or in some way demeaning to other people.
- Cocksucker - No. [Demeans gay men]
- Cuntlicker - No. [Demeans lesbians]
- Motherfucker - OK. [This follows discussion in which it is clarified that this is not offensive to MILFs. A person called this word is not fucking a mother, but instead is fucking their own mother. While using this word as an insult may demean incestuous children, we are okay with that.]
- Asshole - OK [Not demeaning to any segment of the population. C: Everyone's got one. A: But not everyone is one.]
- Wanker - OK [This is heatedly debated. Some insist there is nothing wrong with masturbating and so the word demeans people who do a benign activity. 4D insists that it is a valid insult because masturbating is not generally appropriate when entertaining others is involved. It would be hypocritical for a group that has engaged in SRW since it began to be opposed to use of "wanker" as insult.]
- Bastard - No
- Faggot - No
- Fucker - OK
- Fuckface - OK [It's not the same as cocksucker.]
- Crow - No [Can't dis crows. Puts down the animal world. Crows are smarter than people.]
- Vulture - No [They're the cleanup crew.]
- Ferret - No [C: All part of nature's shopping mall. 4D: Since when did we become a branch office of PETA? I think vulture and ferret are good stinging insults that don't demean anyone outside the target]
- Snake - No [C: tastes like chicken.]
- Felcher - OK [Unhealthy practice, obscure word but insulting]
- Shit - OK
- Shithead - OK
- Son of a bitch - No [Because of the problems associated with "bitch"]
- Scumbag - OK [After some discussion on what the word is about, 4D states it is a used condom.]
A: That's it! The perfect insult for the ESIs. Write this up.
IO: Can you include a graphic? With one for each of us including little tails?
4D rolls his eyes and notes in the minutes that if individuals wish to insult us without being thought of as sexist misogynists, they would do well to call us "scumbags" rather than "douchebags".
3. Jasmine
Coyote proposes that we address the issue of the mayor's new press secretary. "Is she still hot?"
4D: Do we need a united position on this?
Woodsy, Aggie and IO ignore Coyote and the Dwarf and discuss eye wear. The topic lapses.
4. The Reality Show Post
4D notes that there was no reaction to his post about reality show opportunities. The others reassure him that it was a worthwhile post. Perhaps too long for our regular reader's attention span, notes Coyote.
5. Cedric
Woodsy asks IO why Cedric didn't attend the Patti Smith concert in Florence. The IO's quiet response is buried by the background noise of the Usual Spot. 4D doesn't ask for a repeat because he doesn't care where the little gnome goes.
6. Tea with Woodsy
Woodsy shares her idea of having tea or sweets with notable individuals and blogging about it. The Irregulars are highly supportive.
7. Jasmine Again
Coyote brings up the Jasmine topic again. This time there is more discussion, but 4D doesn't take notes. Instead he puts away his minute book and the meeting devolves into a generic conversation.
Wednesday
Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2009-06-10
Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: Agatha, 4th Dwarf, Coyote, Woodsy, Independent Observer
Absent apparently w/o Regrets: Chair, Conch Shell
Brief discussion of who will take minutes. 4D grudgingly accepts duty even though he did it last time and Aggie uses a sarcastic tone when saying he always does a good job of the minutes.
Present: Agatha, 4th Dwarf, Coyote, Woodsy, Independent Observer
Absent apparently w/o Regrets: Chair, Conch Shell
Brief discussion of who will take minutes. 4D grudgingly accepts duty even though he did it last time and Aggie uses a sarcastic tone when saying he always does a good job of the minutes.
1. Wither the Blog
A: We need a project.
C: Yeah, we're like the Blahhg
W: I find it works best when we're random
C: We had a purpose when we started.
W: Get over it.
A: We need a new mission and vision.
W: I don't want to be pigeon-holed "that's what we do"....The Bank Street Irr... what were they? Irrelevants? (yes) they saw us as adventurers.
A: We need to go out and get in trouble again.
W: We're supposed to be metabloggers.
C: What about Kady O'Malley or some other high-profile person?
A: Make it our mission to find a new blogger? What about getting her to an emergency meeting? We could try to get a high-profile person to:
- notice our blog
- read our blog
- comment on our blog
IO arrives, 4D reads out what has gone before.
W: We could post simplified postings of the high profile blogger's postings.
IO: Aren't we patronising enough already?
A: What is our forté?
IO: Random observations on Ottawa life...
Someone recalls that we had decided to do more field trips at a previous emergency meeting. Several venues that purvey alcoholic beverages are proposed. Members begin tossing out ideas:
A: Stalking
W: Random art - like those balloons
C: or El Maks
4D: Aggie, could you elaborate on "stalking"?
A: It's something we used to do a lot of...
C: Fieldwork.
4D: I used to do fieldwork.
C: Yeah. Like the first time you got hung out to dry.
[4D gets all wistful and there is a brief conversation about when exactly the dwarf was first hung out to dry.]
4D: You know a fieldwork posting that I wish we had done? When Zoom went to the open house in the building the mayor lives in.
The possibility of blogging unsubstantiated and unreported rumours about marital discord in the life of a prominent politician is raised.
4D: Suppose let's say one of us blogged this, let's say it was our old friend 6th Apostle, our 30 readers might be entertained. Then a month later, the wife files for divorce. Suddenly it's a big story. And someone notices that 6th Apostle had the scoop. Do you think there might be a lot of attention focussed on exactly who that blogger is? Would you want that attention, Coyote?
W: I want attention, but I want healthy attention. [Woodsy relates another blogger's experience of RCMP IP addresses showing up in her blog's statistics.]
A: We don't want the police after us.
4D: Should we run a story that main-stream media won't?
IO: The blog is not authoritative. It's just a bunch of people seeing things. It doesn't claim to be news.
W: Like when People Magazine has a psychiatrist talk about a celebrity and they say "this therapist is not treating"
IO: People Magazine is up here [he puts his hand up as high as it can go]. We're down here [he holds his hand about a foot above the floor.]
4D: So we should speculate on just what Harper was doing in that bathroom in Normandy?
IO: Exactly.
2. The Chair and Conch Shell
A: What shall we do about them?
W: We tried... We had the schedule.
A: Stroke their egos?
Not to provide a solution, but to provide a context for any possible solution, 4D pontificates on the complex psychology involving perfectionism and peer influence that works to prevent the Chair and Conch Shell from posting.
The possibility of tricking them into attending an emergency meeting is discussed along with other methods to bring about their attendance.
IO: You can shame someone to a meeting, but you can't make them blog.
W: Conchie is very busy.
A: We're all busy.
W: I would love regular summaries on celebrities from Conch Shell.
A: Do we want them back?
W: Yes. I like their stuff.
C: It helps to have a couple more view points.
4D writes "F--- them. I'm bitter" in his notebook and shows the others.
IO: Maybe we should metablog them.
A: How would we metablog them when they don't blog.
IO: Stalk them. We might scare them into blogging.
W: Now, now, nothing mean. Be nice.
IO: It can't be all carrot; there has to be stick.
3. Colours
Woodsy reminds us of the reason she called the meeting and asks for our colour choices.
IO: Blue
A: Speckled purple
C: tan and grey
4D: red and white just like my swim suit
4. Lunch with Woodsy
Woodsy mentions she will be having lunch with a prominent local blogger soon. 4D suggests she could blog it and make it a regular feature: Lunch with Woodsy. All agree that this would be excellent.
W: I could even have lunch with each of you and blog it.
4D: Be careful. You don't want to create an expectation that is unfulfilled. Like if someone said they were going to write profiles on all of us and then only did one.
W: Why? Did somebody do that? [4D, IO and C point at Aggie.]
A: I could still do that.
5. What About Bob?
It is noted that we are still waiting for Bob to decide what prize he wants because he asked for something that he already had. We decide to update the contest winners in the sidebar.
6. Back to the Chair and Conch Shell
A: What do we like that the Chair does?
- Love his graphs
- his Web cams
- He's the number-crunching guy
- He's come up with entire theories
- Political analysis
- Especially during elections
- He's the expert on fringe parties
A: And Conch Shell?
- Finger on pulse of pop culture
- Au courant
- Great at justifications for other people's bad behaviour
- Excellent advice
7. Merchandise
Aggie suggests we need merchandise. 4D points out that he sold 3 shirts.
Aggie looks at her watch and announces she needs to leave.
Meeting adjourned.
Sunday
Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2009-05-10
Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: Agatha, 4th Dwarf, Conch Shell, Coyote, Woodsy
Guests: Shaggy Waiter
Regrets: Chair, Independent Observer
Present: Agatha, 4th Dwarf, Conch Shell, Coyote, Woodsy
Guests: Shaggy Waiter
Regrets: Chair, Independent Observer
1. ESI Official Injury
By consensus, those present agree that the "Jones Fracture" shall be named as the official lower-limb injury of the Elgin Street Irregulars.
2. The Out-In Contest Winner
Aggie proposes that Bob be named the winner of her "Two things that are out that you wish were in" Contest.
4D: Why?
A: He hasn't won anything in any of our contests and his answers were delightful.
Woodsy: But hasn't anyone told Bob life isn't fair?
A stern look from Aggie suggests that she doesn't feel Bob needs to learn this lesson and ends further discussion on this line.
4D calls the question, Bob is unanimously chosen as the winner. As long as his choice passes the Ethics Committee, he may:
- Post a favourite recipe on our blog;
- Select a blog that we will metablog for a week; or
- Select a blogging theme or issue for us for one week.
Congratulations, Bob!
3. Giving Grief
4D: What's next on the agenda?
Coyote: Giving grief to the Chair and Conch Shell?
CS: Umm...
A: No, the Chair's not here.
4. Planning for our 5th Anniversary
Coyote suggests that we cannot have a fifth anniversary because the ESIs do not have fifth things. A metaphysical and metaphorical discussion ensues on our relationship with fifths until CS points out that Coyote only just posted on fifths and he admits that he has been hoisted on his own petard.
A brief brainstorming ensues:
- A blog treasure hunt for fifth things
- There should be cake
- A party
- Fireworks
- A private party at the usual spot
- A vernissage of ESI art [possibly including art by our friends that we have blogged about, all our art at exhorbitant prices, no money to charity, not even split amongst ourselves
5. Wither the Blog
4D asks if "Wither the Blog" is on the agenda. "You weren't here last time," says Aggie. "We decided that's no longer on the agenda. It's irrelevant. "
"We're doing what we do best," says Woodsy. "Which is often nothing."
The meeting is adjourned.
Monday
Emergency Meeting Minutes, April 7, 2009
Emergency Meeting Minutes, April 7th, 7:30 p.m. Usual Spot
In attendance: Aggie, Woodsy, IO, Coyote
Absent: Conch Shell (occupied); the Chair (occupied); 4th Dwarf (down with the bubonic plague)
Aggie arrives first, on time. No one is there. She calls 4th Dwarf, but he is so ill, he cannot respond. Woodsy struts in. The IO saunters in, followed by Coyote, sporting a new jacket he is really proud of.
The conversation begins with sock monkeys. Woodsy discusses her plans to go on a date with the sock monkey workshop lady who is apparently delightful.
Aggie brings order to the meeting and directs the group to the agenda and issues of blogging. Aggie first makes it all about her and talks about the challenges of maintaining 3 blogs. The IO doesn’t seem to know about Aggie’s new crafting blog and asks “How is this different from Aggie’s blog?” Aggie takes offense to the question and gets all insecure and demands encouragement, because, after all, she is doing WAY more than some other team members. Things get negative, and then positive again when people acknowledge the strengths and qualities of team members. Aggie asks team members to offer one-word for each absent team member:
4th Dwarf: “bossy” (Coyote), “insouciant (the IO), “cutting edge” (Aggie, who realizing that that was two words, reduces it to “cutting”, "REDACTED" (Woodsy).
Conch Shell: “salty” (Coyote), “engaging” (IO), “(delightfully) complex” (Aggie), "REDACTED" (Woodsy).
The Chair: “masculine” (Woodsy), “meshy” (Aggie), “overstuffed” (Coyote), “indestructible” (IO).
Then, the conversation moves to the Fifth Muse, who some still view as the “absent” team member.
Woodsy: “unknown”
Aggie: “enigmatic”
IO: “Is she still reading us?”
Coyote: “fierce”
Aggie asks Coyote if he is flirting with the 5M with this “fierce” comment, to which he answers, “always”.
The real question on the agenda, though is “why so few Emergency meetings?” The IO complains that some ESI members have gone all domestic. Aggie responds badly to this. Others offer other one-word explanations: “busy” “full” “adrift” “fragmented”. A few complaints are made about the Usual Spot, but the group is ultimately unable to come to agreement on the reason so few meetings have been happening.
Woodsy and Aggie take a time out.
The question of the Emergency meetings gets abandoned and there is a creative burst of energy and blog ideas:
1) ESI Anniversary Celebrations which includes a banner change
2) Best of ESIs series
3) Research assignments
4) Viable plans for the economic disaster
5) Never released “backchannel emails”
6) ESI gala at the Usual Spot.
7) a garden party
8) a garden gnome party
9) stealing good ideas from other blogs
10) more “breaking news”
Finally, there is a motion to hang 4th Dwarf out to dry. Woodsy seconds. Then, a motion to bring Conch Shell and the Chair together at the Usual Spot for a private shaming session. Coyote seconds that emotion.
In attendance: Aggie, Woodsy, IO, Coyote
Absent: Conch Shell (occupied); the Chair (occupied); 4th Dwarf (down with the bubonic plague)
Aggie arrives first, on time. No one is there. She calls 4th Dwarf, but he is so ill, he cannot respond. Woodsy struts in. The IO saunters in, followed by Coyote, sporting a new jacket he is really proud of.
The conversation begins with sock monkeys. Woodsy discusses her plans to go on a date with the sock monkey workshop lady who is apparently delightful.
Aggie brings order to the meeting and directs the group to the agenda and issues of blogging. Aggie first makes it all about her and talks about the challenges of maintaining 3 blogs. The IO doesn’t seem to know about Aggie’s new crafting blog and asks “How is this different from Aggie’s blog?” Aggie takes offense to the question and gets all insecure and demands encouragement, because, after all, she is doing WAY more than some other team members. Things get negative, and then positive again when people acknowledge the strengths and qualities of team members. Aggie asks team members to offer one-word for each absent team member:
4th Dwarf: “bossy” (Coyote), “insouciant (the IO), “cutting edge” (Aggie, who realizing that that was two words, reduces it to “cutting”, "REDACTED" (Woodsy).
Conch Shell: “salty” (Coyote), “engaging” (IO), “(delightfully) complex” (Aggie), "REDACTED" (Woodsy).
The Chair: “masculine” (Woodsy), “meshy” (Aggie), “overstuffed” (Coyote), “indestructible” (IO).
Then, the conversation moves to the Fifth Muse, who some still view as the “absent” team member.
Woodsy: “unknown”
Aggie: “enigmatic”
IO: “Is she still reading us?”
Coyote: “fierce”
Aggie asks Coyote if he is flirting with the 5M with this “fierce” comment, to which he answers, “always”.
The real question on the agenda, though is “why so few Emergency meetings?” The IO complains that some ESI members have gone all domestic. Aggie responds badly to this. Others offer other one-word explanations: “busy” “full” “adrift” “fragmented”. A few complaints are made about the Usual Spot, but the group is ultimately unable to come to agreement on the reason so few meetings have been happening.
Woodsy and Aggie take a time out.
The question of the Emergency meetings gets abandoned and there is a creative burst of energy and blog ideas:
1) ESI Anniversary Celebrations which includes a banner change
2) Best of ESIs series
3) Research assignments
4) Viable plans for the economic disaster
5) Never released “backchannel emails”
6) ESI gala at the Usual Spot.
7) a garden party
8) a garden gnome party
9) stealing good ideas from other blogs
10) more “breaking news”
Finally, there is a motion to hang 4th Dwarf out to dry. Woodsy seconds. Then, a motion to bring Conch Shell and the Chair together at the Usual Spot for a private shaming session. Coyote seconds that emotion.
Saturday
Emergency Meeting Minutes: Next stop, Bulk Barn
Present: Aggie, The Chair, Conch Shell, Coyote, Fourth Dwarf, The Independent Observer, Woodsy.
Special Guests: Dishevelled Man, Harmony, La Belle Chanteuse, Painted Stick
Venue: The Somewhat Unusual Spot.
Once food and beverages are lustily consumed, the meeting comes to order.
Conch Shell and Painted Stick depart. Conch Shell assures Fourth Dwarf she will "probably" blog soon.
Coyote moves to hang sewage-splattered 4D out to dry.
4D: I thought there was a standing order to that effect.
Aggie and Woodsy make a joint joy-spreading proposal as an homage to Mae Callen: knitting items and leaving them around town. For instance, statues could be outfitted with earmuffs.
4D: On the evening of Sept. 18 or early Sept. 19, all statues could be dressed as pirates.
Coyote: How about a new product, Eau de Joy Perfume?
Woodsy asks The Chair, "What are you going to make?"
The Chair: (awaking from nap) Make what? Er, a coffin for the mayor.
Aggie: A coffin is too negative. We must brainstorm. There are are no bad ideas, except yours. Besides, two negatives don't make a positive.
4D asks Aggie, "Is this about ideas, or you getting your bon mots in the minutes?" He then asks The Chair if he plans to blog any time soon.
The Chair: Maybe. I haven't been inspired.
Aggie, Dishevelled Man, The Chair, Harmony and La Belle Chanteuse depart.
Woodsy confesses she is concerned about missing Project Runway Canada. She corrects herself, saying that actually 4D (redacted). She also declares that the waitress is a cutie, to the general agreement of the others.
4D suggests (redacted) may be our new muse. He notes that she writes with candour about her revolving-door bedroom escapades. Further, he cites a recent incident in which she described texting a friend about Mr. VIP's hydraulic problems, all while he was sorting out his mechanics during a timeout in the bathroom.
Coyote wonders if she has any clue that people are actually reading her blog.
Special Guests: Dishevelled Man, Harmony, La Belle Chanteuse, Painted Stick
Venue: The Somewhat Unusual Spot.
Once food and beverages are lustily consumed, the meeting comes to order.
Conch Shell and Painted Stick depart. Conch Shell assures Fourth Dwarf she will "probably" blog soon.
Coyote moves to hang sewage-splattered 4D out to dry.
4D: I thought there was a standing order to that effect.
Aggie and Woodsy make a joint joy-spreading proposal as an homage to Mae Callen: knitting items and leaving them around town. For instance, statues could be outfitted with earmuffs.
4D: On the evening of Sept. 18 or early Sept. 19, all statues could be dressed as pirates.
Coyote: How about a new product, Eau de Joy Perfume?
Woodsy asks The Chair, "What are you going to make?"
The Chair: (awaking from nap) Make what? Er, a coffin for the mayor.
Aggie: A coffin is too negative. We must brainstorm. There are are no bad ideas, except yours. Besides, two negatives don't make a positive.
4D asks Aggie, "Is this about ideas, or you getting your bon mots in the minutes?" He then asks The Chair if he plans to blog any time soon.
The Chair: Maybe. I haven't been inspired.
Aggie, Dishevelled Man, The Chair, Harmony and La Belle Chanteuse depart.
Woodsy confesses she is concerned about missing Project Runway Canada. She corrects herself, saying that actually 4D (redacted). She also declares that the waitress is a cutie, to the general agreement of the others.
4D suggests (redacted) may be our new muse. He notes that she writes with candour about her revolving-door bedroom escapades. Further, he cites a recent incident in which she described texting a friend about Mr. VIP's hydraulic problems, all while he was sorting out his mechanics during a timeout in the bathroom.
Coyote wonders if she has any clue that people are actually reading her blog.
IO: She may be a virtual exhibitionist.
Coyote: She is.
The IO then expresses concern the ESIs have stooped to pandering, making a tawdry burlesque of the blog by writing about cats and real estate simply because these are the subjects that draw the most visitors.
4D: We are not pandering enough! There's been nothing about real estate lately.
Coyote: She is.
The IO then expresses concern the ESIs have stooped to pandering, making a tawdry burlesque of the blog by writing about cats and real estate simply because these are the subjects that draw the most visitors.
4D: We are not pandering enough! There's been nothing about real estate lately.
4D and Coyote suggest metablogging cat sites.
IO: I think this screams creative bankruptcy. To go from the 5M to four paws is simply wrong.
4D recalls that even the 5M blogged about kittens. He adds, "You have forgotten the heritage the 5M has left us."
The IO, clearly struggling to come up with anything better, suggests a series of Overheard segments, such as Overheard on OCTranspo.
There is agreement the blog is best when we play off of each other's posts.
IO: What about liveblogging?
Discussion turns to the techniques of liveblogger Kady O'Malley, a former 4D Blog Crush.
4D: We could each cover an event in our own way.
Coyote suggests taking the OTrain to Bulk Barn as an ESI field trip, after which we would each blog the event in our own way.
Woodsy declares that she would like to use the proposed field trip to buy the mayor a jockstrap. Indeed, this gives a whole new meaning to supporting the mayor.
As the meeting begins to wind down, Woodsy invites the others to stroke her unusually textured notebook. Without hesitation, they do.
Woodsy: I'm a very tactile person.
The ESIs agree, it's all about the senses.
The meeting is adjourned.
Sunday
More Art and Joy!
The amazing Mae Callen singlehandedly transformed Ottawa last week with her red balloons. Her goal: to bring a little joy into the hearts of weather-beaten, oppressed, depressed, despondent Ottawans.
There is a lot of suffering out there. January lasted forever. Mercury is in retrograde. People are breaking up everywhere you look. And then there's the economy. People are dying. People are sick. People are sad.
So, Irregulars, I'm calling an Emergency Meeting to discuss initiatives to promote joy -- in the spirit of Mae Callen's groundbreaking balloon project.
There is a lot of suffering out there. January lasted forever. Mercury is in retrograde. People are breaking up everywhere you look. And then there's the economy. People are dying. People are sick. People are sad.
So, Irregulars, I'm calling an Emergency Meeting to discuss initiatives to promote joy -- in the spirit of Mae Callen's groundbreaking balloon project.
Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2008-09-07
Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: 4th Dwarf, Conch Shell, Chair, Coyote, Independent Observer, Woodsy
Guests: Harmony, Painted Stick
Breezed in with no excuse: Agatha, Shaggy Waiter
1. Woodsy Reports on the Blogger's Brunch
Woodsy has kind words for all of the bloggers she met. "A bit anti-climactic" someone suggests. [Perhaps it would have been more exciting if we had sent the Dwarf.]
2. How can we support Coyote in his efforts to keep the blog alive?
It is mentioned that since the agenda went out, both the Chair and the IO have posted. [Expressions of surprise from those who can't keep up.]
IO: I think we should go back to the schedule where everyone has a day on which they post.
4D: I'm on board with that.
IO: But only post per day.
4D: But I've got a lot of RNDP postings to go through and this would mean only one per week.
IO: You could do two a week.
4D: But there are 7 ESIs and 7 days in a week.
IO: Oh.... right.
After some discussion, it is agreed that a blogger may post as many items as they like on their day and breaking news may be posted as it is breaking, so that the Chair is not restricted from updating his insightful election coverage.
People begin choosing days as Aggie arrives. We stop to update Aggie on the new plan. Aggie has a momentary seizure but collects herself in time to prevent collapsing to the floor. [Note for a future emergency meeting agenda: How can we better accommodate of Aggie's ODD issues with rigid plans?]
Posts are expected by 9am
Sun: The Chair
Mon: 4th Dwarf
Tue: Aggie
Wed: Independent Observer
Thu: Woodsy
Fri: Coyote
Sat: Conch Shell
[p.s. A shout out to Megan from the ESIs and the IO especially, who says he did see you around the time of the Bluesfest, but didn't realize it until you'd passed each other and you were with someone and he thought it would be awkward at that point.]
Present: 4th Dwarf, Conch Shell, Chair, Coyote, Independent Observer, Woodsy
Guests: Harmony, Painted Stick
Breezed in with no excuse: Agatha, Shaggy Waiter
1. Woodsy Reports on the Blogger's Brunch
Woodsy has kind words for all of the bloggers she met. "A bit anti-climactic" someone suggests. [Perhaps it would have been more exciting if we had sent the Dwarf.]
2. How can we support Coyote in his efforts to keep the blog alive?
It is mentioned that since the agenda went out, both the Chair and the IO have posted. [Expressions of surprise from those who can't keep up.]
IO: I think we should go back to the schedule where everyone has a day on which they post.
4D: I'm on board with that.
IO: But only post per day.
4D: But I've got a lot of RNDP postings to go through and this would mean only one per week.
IO: You could do two a week.
4D: But there are 7 ESIs and 7 days in a week.
IO: Oh.... right.
After some discussion, it is agreed that a blogger may post as many items as they like on their day and breaking news may be posted as it is breaking, so that the Chair is not restricted from updating his insightful election coverage.
People begin choosing days as Aggie arrives. We stop to update Aggie on the new plan. Aggie has a momentary seizure but collects herself in time to prevent collapsing to the floor. [Note for a future emergency meeting agenda: How can we better accommodate of Aggie's ODD issues with rigid plans?]
Posts are expected by 9am
Sun: The Chair
Mon: 4th Dwarf
Tue: Aggie
Wed: Independent Observer
Thu: Woodsy
Fri: Coyote
Sat: Conch Shell
[p.s. A shout out to Megan from the ESIs and the IO especially, who says he did see you around the time of the Bluesfest, but didn't realize it until you'd passed each other and you were with someone and he thought it would be awkward at that point.]
Wednesday
Monday
Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2007-07-15 "Supporting Aggie"
Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: 4th Dwarf, Agatha, Conch Shell, Chair, Coyote, Independent Observer, Woodsy
Guests: Audrey, Harmony, Painted Stick
Absent with lame-O excuse: Nobody
Late: Nobody
Present: 4th Dwarf, Agatha, Conch Shell, Chair, Coyote, Independent Observer, Woodsy
Guests: Audrey, Harmony, Painted Stick
Absent with lame-O excuse: Nobody
Late: Nobody
4D is assigned responsibility for minutes. He uses this to imperiously rearrange the seating so he can hear people speak and Audrey and Painted Stick are not forced to participate in agenda items that will bore them and consequently cause them to sidetrack us from our important deliberations.
European Office Report:
IO passes around photos detailing the latest advances in furnishing of the Western-Europe office. All present make the appropriate noises and comments. 4D refrains from asking why IO has no images of cuties from RNDP fieldwork.
Our Old Friend:
Aggie asks about our feelings on recent developments.
How Can We Support Aggie?IO: Damn his [redacted] loins!
Aggie: Who is anti-condom these days?
Male Chorus: {uncomfortable silence}
Woodsy: Everybody?
Chair: I like condoms. I also like showering with my socks on.
Coyote: Will this be front channel?
Woodsy: Did you say there's going to be French?
4D: Front channel, Woodsy, not French channel.
Woodsy: So what about the date request?
IO: We never got a thank you for the marriage.
{Woodsy is filled in on old ESI history.}
Chair: Bring back the dude.
C.S.: It's time for a come back.
Chair: We've run out of anything interesting we can do.
4D: Hey!
Aggie: There, there, 4D, you and Coyote are carrying the blog.
Coyote: She needs new rules of engagement.
IO: Number One - Avoid engagement.
Chair: The lower-case poet!
Some honourable member: Absolutely not!
Aggie: Anyone else ruled out?
Coyote: The Dude.
Chair: M?
Aggie: No M.
Coyote: And there is no Fifth Rule of Engagement.
Aggie introduces her problem: People say to me, '"Hey, Boss."
IO and Chair request a report on Aggie's sabbatical.
Aggie: I can do that.
IO: We meant right now.
A: No, I can blog it.
IO: How about a 10 to 25 word synopsis?
A: In a poem?
IO: No, not a haiku.
All stare at Aggie for an uncomfortably long period.
4D: Um...
A: I need some time.
4D: So, Aggie, you need support. What is falling? What is sagging?
Woodsy: Even before he said that, I was about to suggest new underwear.
Aggie: I like good concrete advice. Especially management advice from people who've managed.
Some honourable member: Listen more than you talk.
Harmony: You can't be their friend.
Woodsy: But you can be friendly... No high heels or fancy nails.
CS: It's like parenting.
A: How?
Coyote: You can't let them smell your fear.
4D: We're tossing out all this management advice you can read anywhere. Let's talk about what you specifically need. You can't be their friend. Does this mean you don't have anyone to have lunch with?
Some honourable female member: Or yoga?
Chair: We could show up in power suits and snake skin boots.
Woodsy: Always with a kiss, kiss.
A brief interruption from Painted Stick and Audrey's end of the meeting table.
Painted Stick: We're discussing weight.
Audrey: I have to keep the same weight for the next 60 years.
Chair: Put on a pound a month and he'll never notice.
Audrey: As long as it's in the breasts!
Aggie points to herself and raises her eyebrows to bring us back to the agenda.
We are still on the power suit visits.
Woodsy: You're welcome to give me a little pat on the ass as we leave.
Aggie: That's good because we have a lesbian friendly office.
Chair: Corset Fridays!
Harmony: Let it be noted that Woodsy was eager to help purchase corsets.
The meeting is informally adjourned as conversation drifts to Aggie's crush on Milan and issues involving carbon dating.
Tuesday
Topic for next emergency meeting
OK guys, I'm going to be calling a meeting soon to discuss this. I also want to discuss my difficulties reintegrating into the workplace and how you can all support me.
Sunday
Hot Bikini Babes - Emergency Meeting Minutes
Location / Date: Usual Spot, Friday March 21 2008
Members In Attendance (and on-time): 4th Dwarf, Coyote, Agatha, the Chair
Member arriving late in their usual passive-aggressive manner: Conch Shell
Member absent for semi-legitimate reasons: Independent Observer
Guests: Audrey, Harmony
Meeting began. First item of order: delegation of the taking of the minutes. Aggie nominated the Chair to take minutes. Seconded by Dwarfie. Reluctantly accepted by the Chair.
Before going into formalities, those present congratulated Coyote on surviving to see another annual milestone in Bytown’s less-than-hospitable urban setting for creative canines – Doug Thompson be damned. Beverages were raised. Yellow snow was made.
Item 2: Whither the Blog – Kitty Blogging
A point was raised regarding the prevalence ofpussies felines in the blog of late. This has raised some concern for some of the members and regular readers of the blog. Some felt the ESIs were selling out to the popularity of cats in the blogosphere while others wanted more focus on politically incorrect Chinese food recipes. [Redacted] noted that she has cat allergies and couldn’t read such postings without her Epi-pin at hand. It was further noted that those wannabes down the road were going all porno on their parodies of this topic and it could marginalize our readership. It was agreed that we would poll the readership before implementing any censorship.
Item 3: Dwarfie’s Crushes – Cute or Creepy?
Dwarfie’s latest escapade in provoking potential restraining orders against the ESIs from Ottawa’s Blogtown Babe Community was discussed. A quick vote came down to a split decision on whether this is cute or creepy. “It’s not like I’m stalking!” said the Dwarf. Aggie shuddered. All agreed that we would let things continue as they are, but that [redacted] was in the best position to veto this behaviour.
Item 4a: Who is the CBC commenter with no sense of humour?
The Chair opined that it would be a shorter list if we asked the opposite question and subsequently threw out the name Alan Neal (just to see if he actually reads this blog). Others suggested [redacted]. Some clues suggest that it could be coming from subversive elements associated with the readership of Aggie’s blog. CSIS would be contacted for assistance.
Item 4b: Who is the 7th Heathen
All agreed it was most likely [redacted]. Our message to 7th Heathen: keep it up. We know who you are, and we know where you live.
Item 5: deferred until our special guest arrived
Item 6: Report from the Italian bureau
Audrey updated us on developments overseas. All is well as she and the IO manage furniture and decorating details. The Chair was impressed with their choice of furniture and recognized one of his relatives in the Ottoman section of the catalogue. 4D asked if the apartment had yet been “baptized, if you know what I mean?” Aggie shuddered.
[in camera]
[out camera]
Item 7: How to bring down Mayor Lex Luthor and become famous in the process
Most agreed he doesn’t need anyone’s assistance on this front, as he and his staff were doing an admirable job on their own. [Redacted] mused whether we would be seeing a wind-tax or a “cloudy-with-a-chance-for-a-shower” tax in next year’s budget. Rehabilitating him was considered the better option to pursue. “It would be very zen-like,” said Aggie. “Everyone loves a redemption story,” said the Chair. The Chair then recounted a story about how his mother used to respond to obscene phone-callers in the days before call display. “Why are you doing this? You need help…” she’d tell them. Dwarfie laughed, albeit a little too knowingly by the Chair’s take.
The discussion moved onto strategies for elevating the Mayor’s cred. Dwarfie offered to continue to post about other bad public figures. Another idea included bringing down his opponents. Conch Shell was immediately tasked with creating a detailed list of Mayor Lex’s opponents and was subsequently going to make an ATI request to the Census Bureau.
Item 8: Making Woodsy a full fledged ESI
Aggie said it would be a good idea seeing that Woodsy has provided more content than some of the current ESI members. At this point, Conch Shell and the Chair looked at each other with shame, both knowing that such a passive-aggressive comment in their presence would only contribute to their further marginalization from the blog and countless hours of therapy as they fight their sense of self-worth in a publish-or-perish world of two-bit hacks... oh fuck-off!!!
Audrey, speaking on behalf of the non-member ESIs present, noted that perhaps Woodsy wasn’t the “cliquey” type personality that the Irregulars seem to emulate with such fervour. The ESIs present unanimously agreed that Woodsy was welcome to join their “clique”, allowing Woodsy to be part of a group that would snub all others and have dates for the prom and daddy’s car…
Item 9: Jesus
All made a nod to the big-J, on a day that wasn’t so good for him, even though it’s called Good Friday. The Chair noted that it was such an ironic use of adjectives in the Catholic Church that probably contributed to his lapse in faith and why he always gets the giggles when he visits the Stations of the Cross.
Item 10: Other business
Dwarfie shared some blog statistics with the members. His chart suggests that blogging about hair and/or Kady O’Malley seems to draw in the readers -- as does having provocative words in our posting titles. Aggie confessed she deliberately chose her title to up our hit count in her last posting. The Chair noted this phenomenon and duly changed the title for the Emergency Meeting minutes.
Someone raised the issue of the ESI position on Clinton vs. Obama. The ESIs did not take a political stand except to state that either would be welcome to do a guest blog. Details were going to be discussed with Zoom on setting up an eBay invite to candidates.
All other matters having been considered, the formal part of the meeting was adjourned with the arrival of Woodsy and the ESIs' special guest – Zoom.
Item 5: Special Presentation to Zoom
Zoom arrived and exclaimed, “So, you’re all real!" That said, all engaged in further discussion on the events of our times over a few cold beverages. I’m sure Zoom will give you all the details.
Members In Attendance (and on-time): 4th Dwarf, Coyote, Agatha, the Chair
Member arriving late in their usual passive-aggressive manner: Conch Shell
Member absent for semi-legitimate reasons: Independent Observer
Guests: Audrey, Harmony
Meeting began. First item of order: delegation of the taking of the minutes. Aggie nominated the Chair to take minutes. Seconded by Dwarfie. Reluctantly accepted by the Chair.
Before going into formalities, those present congratulated Coyote on surviving to see another annual milestone in Bytown’s less-than-hospitable urban setting for creative canines – Doug Thompson be damned. Beverages were raised. Yellow snow was made.
Item 2: Whither the Blog – Kitty Blogging
A point was raised regarding the prevalence of
Item 3: Dwarfie’s Crushes – Cute or Creepy?
Dwarfie’s latest escapade in provoking potential restraining orders against the ESIs from Ottawa’s Blogtown Babe Community was discussed. A quick vote came down to a split decision on whether this is cute or creepy. “It’s not like I’m stalking!” said the Dwarf. Aggie shuddered. All agreed that we would let things continue as they are, but that [redacted] was in the best position to veto this behaviour.
Item 4a: Who is the CBC commenter with no sense of humour?
The Chair opined that it would be a shorter list if we asked the opposite question and subsequently threw out the name Alan Neal (just to see if he actually reads this blog). Others suggested [redacted]. Some clues suggest that it could be coming from subversive elements associated with the readership of Aggie’s blog. CSIS would be contacted for assistance.
Item 4b: Who is the 7th Heathen
All agreed it was most likely [redacted]. Our message to 7th Heathen: keep it up. We know who you are, and we know where you live.
Item 5: deferred until our special guest arrived
Item 6: Report from the Italian bureau
Audrey updated us on developments overseas. All is well as she and the IO manage furniture and decorating details. The Chair was impressed with their choice of furniture and recognized one of his relatives in the Ottoman section of the catalogue. 4D asked if the apartment had yet been “baptized, if you know what I mean
[in camera]
[out camera]
Item 7: How to bring down Mayor Lex Luthor and become famous in the process
Most agreed he doesn’t need anyone’s assistance on this front, as he and his staff were doing an admirable job on their own. [Redacted] mused whether we would be seeing a wind-tax or a “cloudy-with-a-chance-for-a-shower” tax in next year’s budget. Rehabilitating him was considered the better option to pursue. “It would be very zen-like,” said Aggie. “Everyone loves a redemption story,” said the Chair. The Chair then recounted a story about how his mother used to respond to obscene phone-callers in the days before call display. “Why are you doing this? You need help…” she’d tell them. Dwarfie laughed, albeit a little too knowingly by the Chair’s take.
The discussion moved onto strategies for elevating the Mayor’s cred. Dwarfie offered to continue to post about other bad public figures. Another idea included bringing down his opponents. Conch Shell was immediately tasked with creating a detailed list of Mayor Lex’s opponents and was subsequently going to make an ATI request to the Census Bureau.
Item 8: Making Woodsy a full fledged ESI
Aggie said it would be a good idea seeing that Woodsy has provided more content than some of the current ESI members. At this point, Conch Shell and the Chair looked at each other with shame, both knowing that such a passive-aggressive comment in their presence would only contribute to their further marginalization from the blog and countless hours of therapy as they fight their sense of self-worth in a publish-or-perish world of two-bit hacks... oh fuck-off!!!
Audrey, speaking on behalf of the non-member ESIs present, noted that perhaps Woodsy wasn’t the “cliquey” type personality that the Irregulars seem to emulate with such fervour. The ESIs present unanimously agreed that Woodsy was welcome to join their “clique”, allowing Woodsy to be part of a group that would snub all others and have dates for the prom and daddy’s car…
Item 9: Jesus
All made a nod to the big-J, on a day that wasn’t so good for him, even though it’s called Good Friday. The Chair noted that it was such an ironic use of adjectives in the Catholic Church that probably contributed to his lapse in faith and why he always gets the giggles when he visits the Stations of the Cross.
Item 10: Other business
Dwarfie shared some blog statistics with the members. His chart suggests that blogging about hair and/or Kady O’Malley seems to draw in the readers -- as does having provocative words in our posting titles. Aggie confessed she deliberately chose her title to up our hit count in her last posting. The Chair noted this phenomenon and duly changed the title for the Emergency Meeting minutes.
Someone raised the issue of the ESI position on Clinton vs. Obama. The ESIs did not take a political stand except to state that either would be welcome to do a guest blog. Details were going to be discussed with Zoom on setting up an eBay invite to candidates.
All other matters having been considered, the formal part of the meeting was adjourned with the arrival of Woodsy and the ESIs' special guest – Zoom.
Item 5: Special Presentation to Zoom Zoom arrived and exclaimed, “So, you’re all real!" That said, all engaged in further discussion on the events of our times over a few cold beverages. I’m sure Zoom will give you all the details.
Wednesday
ESI Emergency Meeting Minutes
In Attendance: Coyote, Independent Observer, Agatha, Conch Shell,Fourth Dwarf (late, with justification). Guests: Crazy Hat (left early), Painted Stick (arrived shortly before end)
Conch Shell offers to take minutes. 4D and others laugh and mention how she never posted the last time she took the minutes. Coyote says CS will have to offer up assurances. CS offers to pay for a round of alcoholic drinks at the next Emergency Meeting if she doesn't post the minutes. It's agreed.
Agatha asks that the minutes reflect that Coyote brought red marshmallow hearts for the group, expressing love toward us all.
Meeting items begin.
IO presents his [redacted] to 4D for the [redacted]. Others are given a deadline extension of a week.
CS inquires if Z is a [redacted.] 4D explains she's too nice. Coyote mentions she called the cover band by the wrong name when she linked to them, further evidence that she isn't one of them.
Move ahead to the main item: the Appearance and Disappearance of [redacted]. CS wonders about the timing of it all, considering that it existed for months when we didn't know about it, but when we find it (Thanks, Aggie!) and begin to enjoy it, within two weeks it's gone.
Aggie: "Is it a Conspiracy?"
All ESIs insist that none of them did anything this time to ruin it for the others. Coyote points out that [redacted] showed her more readers were seeing it, plus she had friends warning her. This makes sense to us. 4D comments that he liked the message of [redacted] being [redacted].
IO puts on Larry King persona and asks: "What is her frame of mind, in one word?"
CS: "Consistent".
ESIs agree that it was enjoyable while it lasted.
Coyote comments that in his experience every woman calls her ex a narcissist. When ESIs attempt to draw personal examples from Coyote's own past, he refuses to indulge. Coyote adds that his canine nose sniffed out that this was an inappropriate relationship from the start, and he didn't think she should go on dates with [redacted] in the first place. 4D says that we all knew it was going to be a disaster, therefore Coyote doesn't deserve a bone. Aggie says she didn't know it would end so fast. Coyote blathers on generally about the rebound/needing time phenomenon. Everybody ignores him, as is usual when he gets onto this topic.
CS asks about whether [redacted] might become a lesbian now, considering all these disappointments. 4D says a lesbian fling is a possibility because all modern women are bisexual. He then asks CS and Aggie to comment on this. They don't.
4D returns tiresomely to the narcissism discussion and points out that narcissism can be relation-based. For instance, if a man is not that into his partner of the moment, he won't be that focused on her, but on himself -- classic narcissism. Coyote furthers that when a man plays a musical instrument or other entertainment tool for a long time, he should pay attention to when his audience gets bored.
Meeting digression: Clinton/Obama? Ann Coulter, Yuck. Is the U.S. anti-English monarchy or just anti-taxation? No decision taken.
[Redacted]: Sorry or Not?
Coyote says [redacted]. Aggie says [redacted]. 4D says it was a facebook problem, not a blog one.
Ethical Discussion of the Day: [Redacted] . . . can we metablog her? 4D points out that we periodically metablog others like Zoom and Megan. Aggie wonders if she'll get scared and delete her blog? It's pointed out that she's writing a book on her blog subject(!!!!) ESIs agree that it's about balance. Anyway, only the Fifth Muse has inspired us as obsessively, and that's unlikely to change. ESIs agree to test-metablog her through these minutes. All feel her date wasn't very successful, and think it good that Three Date Man was honest with her.
Aggie says online dating is depressing and degrading: suggests instead that all hopefuls go to Venus Envy, get some good electronics, and adopt cats. She insists this is what she'd do, if she were [redacted].
CS interrupts: "Let the minutes reveal that IO is blackberrying"
Some Hon. ESIs: "Bad form!!!" IO asks when that was decided.
Group discusses Rebecca Eckler's blog and the finer points of emotional voyeurism. ESIs then congratulate Zoom over her best blog posting awards. 4D states that the knitting bloggers had a lock on the awards, that it was a conspiracy, and a future blog entry will be dedicated to this.
Aggie wants to discuss the Bank Street Irrelevants. "They're trying hard."
IO: "Why?"
It's declared that they're like a [redacted] cover-band, are having a good time, and some ESIs are happy for them.
This brings the conversation around to music, the nature of compliments and insults, and their relativity. It's revealed that IO is a fan of the [redacted] without having ever heard them. CS thinks one can't be a fan in such a scenario. 4D believes IO can be a true fan, just by understanding the concept. CS comments that this is as hollow as an empty shell. Others ignore CS and comment that IO should look the part of [redacted] when he's their [redacted].
Aggie points out that she deleted [redacted] because it revealed [redacted] about [redacted ].
Next Agenda Item: status of our blog & Google search hits. 4D says it's a good blog and he's happy with the postings lately. He likes the Word Cop part, because [redacted] loves it. Coyote states that our #1 Google search hit is for "high maintenance women". 4D loudly takes credit for the posting, and reveals Google ranking tricks: the posting is titled "high maintenance women" and it links to other sites about "high maintenance women". Coyote states that "Mumumelon" is our second mopst popular Google hit, and yoga booty ballet is a distant third. We used to get more hits for yoga.
With all topics covered, we move to Action Items:
Aggie states the next meeting should involve discussion on how to make ESI the most popular blog ever, so we can make money and retire. 4D mentions that CS needs to write up the minutes.
Resolved: That at some point in the future we will discuss creating the Elgin Street Institute, as another moneymaker.
Meeting Adjourned.
Sunday
Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2008-01-11 "The Megan Consultation"
Venue: The Usual Spot? Maybe. Maybe not.
Present: 4D, CS, Agatha, Coyote
Guests: Pandora, Woodsy
Featured Guest: Megan
Absent with lame-O excuse: I-O
Late: Chair
4D distributes vitamin D to all but Woodsy.
4D offers to take minutes so that they will be done right.
Pandora suggests that 4D also draw pictures of those present like court reporters do.
Our Consultant, Megan, arrives. Conch Shell is introduced and gets up to go.
"Any word on posting?" she is asked.
"Very, very soon. Like this weekend." And she leaves.
Megan settles in. 4D checks to see she is wearing the top that makes her breasts look shockingly large, but he cannot tell. And surprisingly, manages to refrain from public comment on the topic until typing these minutes.
We ask: Do you need a flip chart stand? 'No.' Laser pointers? 'No.'
Megan: You've fixed all your blogging problems.
Agatha: Oh, should we talk about the Bank Street people then?
Megan: The Bank Street Blog? ...Irony without earnestness.
Megan and the ESIs share thoughts on the Bank Street Blog. 4D announces that he will prepare a posting welcoming them to the blogosphere after he does the minutes.
Coyote: Or after Conch Shell posts. [to general laughter]
Megan: Maybe before...
What to do about Conch Shell?
Megan: Is there something she could do that doesn't involve posting?
Coyote: There's the tagline under the ESI title banner.
Agatha: But she wouldn't do that. We could post for her...
Megan: Or you could trick her. Email her a question?
Coyote: Does Conch Shell answer email?
4D: It's rare.
Agatha: Or a phone call.
Megan: And I guess it would only work once.
Pandora: Maybe it could be Conch Shell's job to never ever post.
Consensus: This would be workable and the worst that could happen is that the Oppositional Defiance Disorder prevalent among the ESIs would result in her actually posting.
Back to the ESIs
4D: Agatha, you were the one who first suggested we engage Megan as a consultant. What did you think she could bring to us?
Agatha: I've been feeling our group is too insular, it would be good to bring in people from outside. I would ask: What should we do more? What should we do less?
Megan: Just more of what you're already doing. One theme I've liked is the searching for a new muse. It's entertaining. Does it have to be only Ottawa?
[The Chair arrives. 4D asks if we should have any concerns about the in-a-delicate-condition T and her husband. "The one who pissed his pants?" asks the Chair. This brings up the issue of us creeping bloggers out. 4D shares a story of a blogger - a young woman who doesn't blog so much any more - who, at the coffee shop she always blogged about, had a fan appear and sit down with her. It creeped her out. "It wasn't me," 4D clarifies.]
Guest Bloggers
Megan agrees that the Andrew ZRX posting was a tremendous success. Pandora suggests that we could auction off the chance to post on our blog. The Andrew ZRX story is patiently explained to Pandora and no one says anything like "Where the hell have you been?" Perhaps because our guest consultant had everyone in such a lovely mood from her compliments and she is an ettiquettist after all.
Megan suggests we could have a contest with a skill-testing question to award the opportunity to be a guest blogger and the skill testing question could be the sort that makes them prove their worthiness for a guest posting.
Chair: Maybe we should turn into a Cat Blog.
Agatha: I love Duncan.
Megan: I would read anything Zoom wrote.
Consensus: Zoom has the best blog in Ottawa and we should do something to recognize that.
Chair: Or we could bring in Cousin Oliver [and then explains that Cousin Oliver was the kid brought in to revive ratings on the Brady Bunch, generally held to be that show's Shark Jump.]
4D: Maybe you could take on Cousin Oliver as a new persona. It might revive your interest in blogging.
Megan asks the Chair why he hasn't been blogging.
Chair: The City is getting boring.
Megan: The Mayor just got arrested!
4D: You have to understand, the Chair has been jaded for about 20 years.
Coyote: And before that he was just apathetic.
4D announces that he is ready to stop taking minutes.
Agatha: I'm just overwhelmed that Megan is here with us.
Chair and Coyote: We are not worthy! ... We are not worthy! [with the bowing and hand gestures]
Megan: Just do more of what you're already doing.
Official portion of meeting is adjourned. General conversation takes place in which further compliments are exchanged. The ESIs also interact with other patrons of the establishment, one of whom introduces himself as a reader. 4D's does a brilliant thespian portrayal of a person who is ignorant of the Elgin Street Irregulars, but the fellow persists, points out that we're sitting with AsteroideaPress and tells the 4th Dwarf that he is the 4th Dwarf.
And who are you? Asks the Dwarf, wondering why he is the only one who ever gets outed.
davewoods.ca says the young man. Who then insists he is not part of any group blog. Even though 4D narrows his eyes the second time he asks.
"Perhaps we should stop addressing each other by our aliases when we're in public," says the Dwarf after the young man rejoins his dining companion.
Present: 4D, CS, Agatha, Coyote
Guests: Pandora, Woodsy
Featured Guest: Megan
Absent with lame-O excuse: I-O
Late: Chair
4D distributes vitamin D to all but Woodsy.
4D offers to take minutes so that they will be done right.
Pandora suggests that 4D also draw pictures of those present like court reporters do.
Our Consultant, Megan, arrives. Conch Shell is introduced and gets up to go."Any word on posting?" she is asked.
"Very, very soon. Like this weekend." And she leaves.
Megan settles in. 4D checks to see she is wearing the top that makes her breasts look shockingly large, but he cannot tell. And surprisingly, manages to refrain from public comment on the topic until typing these minutes.
We ask: Do you need a flip chart stand? 'No.' Laser pointers? 'No.'
Megan: You've fixed all your blogging problems.
Agatha: Oh, should we talk about the Bank Street people then?
Megan: The Bank Street Blog? ...Irony without earnestness.
Megan and the ESIs share thoughts on the Bank Street Blog. 4D announces that he will prepare a posting welcoming them to the blogosphere after he does the minutes.
Coyote: Or after Conch Shell posts. [to general laughter]Megan: Maybe before...
What to do about Conch Shell?
Megan: Is there something she could do that doesn't involve posting?
Coyote: There's the tagline under the ESI title banner.
Agatha: But she wouldn't do that. We could post for her...
Megan: Or you could trick her. Email her a question?
Coyote: Does Conch Shell answer email?
4D: It's rare.
Agatha: Or a phone call.
Megan: And I guess it would only work once.
Pandora: Maybe it could be Conch Shell's job to never ever post.
Consensus: This would be workable and the worst that could happen is that the Oppositional Defiance Disorder prevalent among the ESIs would result in her actually posting.
Back to the ESIs
4D: Agatha, you were the one who first suggested we engage Megan as a consultant. What did you think she could bring to us?
Agatha: I've been feeling our group is too insular, it would be good to bring in people from outside. I would ask: What should we do more? What should we do less?Megan: Just more of what you're already doing. One theme I've liked is the searching for a new muse. It's entertaining. Does it have to be only Ottawa?
[The Chair arrives. 4D asks if we should have any concerns about the in-a-delicate-condition T and her husband. "The one who pissed his pants?" asks the Chair. This brings up the issue of us creeping bloggers out. 4D shares a story of a blogger - a young woman who doesn't blog so much any more - who, at the coffee shop she always blogged about, had a fan appear and sit down with her. It creeped her out. "It wasn't me," 4D clarifies.]
Guest Bloggers
Megan agrees that the Andrew ZRX posting was a tremendous success. Pandora suggests that we could auction off the chance to post on our blog. The Andrew ZRX story is patiently explained to Pandora and no one says anything like "Where the hell have you been?" Perhaps because our guest consultant had everyone in such a lovely mood from her compliments and she is an ettiquettist after all.
Megan suggests we could have a contest with a skill-testing question to award the opportunity to be a guest blogger and the skill testing question could be the sort that makes them prove their worthiness for a guest posting.
Chair: Maybe we should turn into a Cat Blog.
Agatha: I love Duncan.
Megan: I would read anything Zoom wrote.
Consensus: Zoom has the best blog in Ottawa and we should do something to recognize that.
Chair: Or we could bring in Cousin Oliver [and then explains that Cousin Oliver was the kid brought in to revive ratings on the Brady Bunch, generally held to be that show's Shark Jump.]
4D: Maybe you could take on Cousin Oliver as a new persona. It might revive your interest in blogging.
Megan asks the Chair why he hasn't been blogging.
Chair: The City is getting boring.
Megan: The Mayor just got arrested!
4D: You have to understand, the Chair has been jaded for about 20 years.
Coyote: And before that he was just apathetic.
4D announces that he is ready to stop taking minutes.
Agatha: I'm just overwhelmed that Megan is here with us.
Chair and Coyote: We are not worthy! ... We are not worthy! [with the bowing and hand gestures]
Megan: Just do more of what you're already doing.Official portion of meeting is adjourned. General conversation takes place in which further compliments are exchanged. The ESIs also interact with other patrons of the establishment, one of whom introduces himself as a reader. 4D's does a brilliant thespian portrayal of a person who is ignorant of the Elgin Street Irregulars, but the fellow persists, points out that we're sitting with AsteroideaPress and tells the 4th Dwarf that he is the 4th Dwarf.
And who are you? Asks the Dwarf, wondering why he is the only one who ever gets outed.
davewoods.ca says the young man. Who then insists he is not part of any group blog. Even though 4D narrows his eyes the second time he asks.
"Perhaps we should stop addressing each other by our aliases when we're in public," says the Dwarf after the young man rejoins his dining companion.
Thursday
Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2007-12-18
Venue: A remote corner of a place that is not the Usual Spot
Present: Fourth Dwarf, Coyote, Conch Shell, the Chair
Absent with notice: Agatha, Independent Observer
Minutes by: 4D
1) What to do about [Redacted]
a) Who are they?
4D: Can't be any of us. You're all too bone lazy, I'm not, but (a) I'm too busy with my plowing contracts, (b) I hate wordpress, and (c) I wouldn't have done such an exact matching of aliases.
CS: What about Aggie?
4D: Are you kidding?
Coyote: She doesn't have the HTML skills.
The Stats Team discuss [...... ..... Redacted ...... .......]. Although they have deployed techniques matching those of the Las Vegas CSI team, they have no useful information.
Speculation swirls around various possible candidates:[..... ....... ..... Redacted ..... ....... .... ......], but settles mainly on [... Redacted... ]:
- [... Redacted... ]
- [... Redacted... ]
Coyote suggests domain-squatting [... Redacted... ].com
4D suggests this would be mean and pointless
Coyote says "Yeah. And...?" He then counter-suggests creating a [...Redacted...] blog.
4D: or [ Redacted... ]
b) One person? or more?
Consensus: Too soon to tell,but [... Redacted... ].
c) Do they know that we know?
The Stats Team point out [.... ..... ..... ... Redacted... .... ...... ....].
Coyote: And I [... Redacted... ].
4D: Huh?
Coyote explains [... Redacted... ]:
[... Redacted... ]
d) So what do we do about them?
Consensus: [... Redacted... ]
Chair: I'd like to see some cash in an envelope.
2) Tiana's Prize
Coyote asks what we're going to do about it. 4D reveals that Agatha had entrusted him with the task and abjectly apologizes for not having completed the mission. He is sure that one of his plowing contracts will take him close enough to her neighbourhood to complete the mission before Christmas.
3) Love on the Internet
Conch Shell tells us of the tragic story of the 13-year-old girl who killed herself recently after a neighbour mom impersonating a 16-year-old boy online told her she'd be "better off dead". We discuss various people we know who have fallen in love with people through their emails and then dropped them soon after meeting in person. It is suggested that this would be an excellent topic for CS to blog on.
CS: Yes, I'm going to post very soon. [The others all act as though they believe CS.]
4) AndrewZRX
4D asks if we should invite Andrew ZRX to post more. There is a brief discussion that notes:
- the high quality of Andrew's posting and the ZRX motorcycle; and
- the grossness of the placenta picture.
Unanimous: AndrewZRX is welcome to post again.
5) Contests
CS: We should have more contests.
4D: Like what?
CS: I like the Street Names one.
4D: huh?
CS: Renaming streets...
Coyote: or coming up with other blogs with street names, like "the Kent Street Incontinents"
All agree this has possibilities.
The Chair suggests a battle of the group blogs. 4D suggests we create avatars in World of Warcraft and take on all comers. Others seem less enthused.
6) Doomsday Machine
Chair: We should set up a Doomsday Machine. If we don't blog within a certain time period, the blog deletes itself.
CS: That's a great idea.
4D and Coyote look at each other and shake their heads.
Coyote: Right. More pressure to blog.
4D: Why do the two people who never post love this idea while the ones who do post hate it? Oh, of course, if the blog was deleted, there would be no pressure to post at all.
CS: I am going to post something soon. Really. [The others all act as though they believe CS.]
7) Life Coaching
4D explains he will be doing some postings related to life coaching and will be encouraging participation in this project from the other ESIs. Coyote gets that look on his face that means he wants nothing to do with this plan and thinks trouble will ensue.
4D: Don't worry, Coyote, you don't have to play if you don't want to, but you will want to and in fact, you'll be the most active.
8) Florence Appointments
With no discussion, The Elgin Street Irregulars appoint:
- Independent Observer as Director of Italian Affairs; and
- Audrey as ESI Cultural Liaison Officer
9) Conference Call with Aggie
4D briefs Aggie on the highlights of the discussion.
Aggie: Did Coyote get slammed for his rogue activity with the [Redacted]?
4D: Of course not. Only the Fourth Dwarf gets slammed for rogue activity.
Aggie: Right. Everything sounds great. I'm glad to see you're on it.
4D relays this and the others are pleased.
Aggie says something unintelligible. 4D asks her to repeat.
4D: Someone out east is slap happy?
Aggie: No, a blogger from the Far East says the ESIs are getting sloppy.
4D and Aggie have a brief exchange about what a loser this blogger must be. Everyone waves goodbye even though it's a telephone.
4D relates the sloppiness charge. The others express outrage.
4D: You know what? It's true. We have gotten sloppy. Coyote - using 4 words where 3 will do. Chair - sometimes it's days before we have a new movie in the sidebar cam. CS - I don't need to say anything to you, do I?
The others all hang their heads downcast for a moment as they reflect on this.
CS: But still. I am going to post something soon. Really. [The others do the usual thing.] And y'know what? Remember how it used to be when we started two years ago and we'd talk for hours about this stuff and it would bug other people so we'd have to change topics? And now so much has changed? But we're still into it and it still holds our interest.
Business is adjourned so the ESIs can discuss the "affairs" of those who are not present.
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