A Muse Yourselves

I have been known to get grumpy with the ESIs over their whining about their missing Muse. I have been know to tell them to, "Get over it!".


Good news darling ESIs! You can now trundle on over to Images on Bank Street where it seems that you can pick out a new muse...

O'Brien's brain

Anybody heard much from Mayor Larry lately? I mean, aside from innocuous grip and grin snaps in throwaway tabloids, and the usual public pabulum? No? Thought not. Us coyotes, neither.

We may have to thank the mayor's latest handlers for this. It's the kinda brain trust that epitomizes a simple rule: if ya don't have a brain yourself, buy one. Although I note that in this case there's a whole team of, ummm, expert henchthingies to stitch up the ol' intellectual fabric. Possibly from the whole cloth.

While we can imagine it, coyotes are not party to the (no doubt) Hunter-Thompson-esque blend of medieval restraint devices, modern psycho-pharmacology and space age adhesives that it might take to keep some kinda lid on hizzoner's natural, ummm, exuberance. Whatever it is, it works like a damn. The result has been (mostly) blessed quiet for the citizenry. We needed it after all that came before.

Enquiring coyotes everywhere suppose that the reason His Nibs is actually paying heed to his high-powered advisors for a change is because he might still be eyeing that second term in the big chair, and hoping a short stint of relative decorum will do the trick.

Fortunately for those of us who are sensitive, the new strategy so far has merely reinforced the esteem with which we hold our beloved mayor. One hopes the electorate's famously lousy long term memory holds on just a teensy bit longer, so we can all support him right out of office in fall elections. In the style which he deserves.

Emergency Meeting Lite* and Spontaneous

In Thrall, Warwick Goble

Attendance: C, W, CS and [redacted]

CS: Did [redacted]?

C: [redacted] rudimentary sense [redacted].

CS: Why [redacted]?

C: [redacted].

W: Too much [redacted].

C: I think we've gotten over the [redacted].

CS: Ya! [nothing redacted]

W, C, CS: laughter

C: Good to have them minutes done.

CS: Yes, let's eat!

*.5%

Not so Zen Thoughts

I have not quite perfected clearing my mind of all thoughts during yoga.

For example, tonight, while I was listening to my yoga teacher's soothing instructions, I was also discreetly trying to get a glimpse of the enticing tattoo on her rump.

As I continued posing, I remembered that I should book a series of massages with her. She is also my massage therapist.

At that thought, and as I was trying to stay balanced in a I Have Fire Shooting Out of My Middle Finger She Woman Man Hater Warrior pose, I let out a whiny Uji breath as I realized, with envy in my heart, that there are certain things that have happened to my beloved fellow bloggers that just never happen to me.

I have never,

1. Gotten to second base with my massage therapist,
2. Won anything of any significant value,
3. Scored free tickets to see someone I love perform, or
4. Made love to someone on the desk of a Member of Parliament.
5. There is no fifth thing, but I wish there was.
   

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6 Ottawa places I don't miss

While I've still got a few minutes left in my posting day, I thought I'd get in on the nostalgia kick with my list.

1. Le Metro - moved from Elgin to Somerset, then closed. If you like snobby waiters bringing you small portions of mediocre food, you may miss the place.
2. The "convenience" store at Bay and Lisgar where the old lady who was always there would malevolently stare at you until you walked out.
3. Café Henri Burger - Maybe if George Radwanski had taken me there for lunch once or twice I'd miss the joint. And maybe if George hadn't been nailed for expense account shenanigans, Café Henri Burger would still be open.
4. The Hull Strip - I do not miss Ontario bars closing at 1am, then going to Hull, then waiting in line to get into some incredibly loud place where you couldn't talk to anyone and then taking forever to get back to Ottawa so you could finally get some sleep.
5. Big Bud's - Sorry, nostalgia nuts, the Dollar-It that replaced it is cleaner, friendlier and cheaper.
   
6. Fuliwah's was not a bad Chinese Restaurant, but the Chu Shing people make tastier food and probably the best dim sum in Ottawa.