On top of everything else this week...

... we're a nominee in the Best Group Blog category of the Canadian Blog Awards.

And unlike some bloggy-come-lately wannabes that for obscure reasons have recently begun to ape our franchise slavishly, we didn't need to nominate ourselves. Thank you, Zoom, you're a lovely person. We think everybody should click on over, get clear on the rules, then vote for you in every category in which you're nominated. We already have...

Other Ottawa bloggers represented in Round One of the voting include, but are not limited to, many of our very favourites: Megan Butcher's compelling and personal Asteroidea Press (we're huge fans); RobinK's arrestingly good photoblog, Watawa Life; our very own Aggie's angst-and-craft-ridden Elgin Street Muse; the gimlet-eyed local political commentary of Miss Vickie's Offhand Remarks; Jo Stockton's Also a Talker; David Scrimshaw's Blog about life and binder clips; Andrea's No More Decorators; and finally, Mission:Control (worth checking, though we understand he's peeved with us at the moment...) We've almost certainly forgotten someone we'll regret omitting later. And of course, the scads of mainstream national political bloggers all over this city. We don't regret omitting them at all.

If you like us (you know who you are...), head on over and give us props. If you hate us (ditto...) then vote for someone else. It's all (meta)bloggy goodness.

Living Like a (Reformed) Addict

A few things have inspired me in the last few days that I'd like to share with you. As you have probably gathered, I've been in a creative rut. I have not been crafting. I'm trying to write, but not getting anywhere. I can barely get my ass out to exercise. I have been going to some free meditation classes down the street in a desperate search for inspiration and enlightenment. The meditation helps me just softly and gently embrace the rut rather than dig myself deeper in the rut, which I am rather good at.

I've come to realize that I'm an addict. I'm not pathologizing myself here. In fact, I think there are lots of us out there being addicts of something. We are a culture of addicts. Good for you if you manage not to be one.

Because I'm an addict, I've decided I should strive to live like one. This means, I have to adopt the "every day is a new day" attitude that addicts do. It also means I need to change the way I do things to accommodate my addictions. Chuck Close is a good example of someone who has done this. He rejects the idea of "inspiration" and just gets down to business, grid-by-grid. Julia Child is helping me, too. She could not be more passionate- or addicted - to French cuisine, but describes how it could take hours of work and plenty of failure to get the sauce just right -- or at least good enough to move on to the next recipe.

The PC * Primer

* Pee Clues **

Well. After one's recent snappy exchange with the ESIs' (really, probably all of Ottawa's) favorite Sassy Redhead, one feels compelled to explore the topic in more depth. You know. Put one's nose to the ground, sniff around, tread a contemplative circle for a bit, satisfy oneself that one has found exactly the right spot, and then... one digresses. It must be instinct.

She raises a valid question. Why need we be concerned if a certain partner pees on himself, and only himself, then walks into a Tim Horton's? What business is it of ours? Other than because he blogged it for the entire Internet to read, I mean.

Well. I can only speak for myself, because other members of this little consortium may (okay, almost certainly do) have other thoughts on the topic.

In my view, though, if he's going to make a habit out of this kind of thing, there are products out there that are way better adapted to some form of human riding in an auto's shotgun seat, than Coke cans.

More importantly, as one of several four-legged species that regard this form of communication with the utmost seriousness, I have to say that if he's peeing on himself, that's just a totally egregious waste of perfectly good territory-marking ammo...

** C'mon! You didn't think this was going to be about Political Correctness? Personal Computers? President's Choice? Or, Dog help us, the Progressive Conservatives? Did you?!

Exercise for Aggie

I am lazy. I need to exercise, but can't seem to make the move or commit to anything. Sounds an awful lot like my love life. Anyway, I found this wonderful guide, which gives lots of good examples of things I can do in my daily life that can gently integrate physical fitness into my life. For example, I should be marching on the spot while brushing my teeth; I should be squeezing my buttocks as I'm doing my errands; I should be trying to sit up very very straight while watching TV. All these things are designed to raise my awareness about the need for physical activity.
But, I need a concrete plan, and I'm asking for your help. There are a number of things I hate in an exercise plan, so let's just get those out of the way:
1) I hate exercise plans that require expensive gear.
2) I hate exercise that requires a personal trainer.
3) I hate stinky gyms.
4) I hate exercise that requires me to go out in the cold when I'm half awake without coffee.
5) I hate pools.
6) I hate any sport that requires hand/eye coordination.
I want a plan that will get me into top shape with minimal effort. I want it to be pleasant, achievable, refreshing and economical. Getting a dog is the obvious answer, but, again, I'm not ready for this kind of commitment.

Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2008-01-11 "The Megan Consultation"

Venue: The Usual Spot? Maybe. Maybe not.

Present: 4D, CS, Agatha, Coyote
Guests: Pandora, Woodsy
Featured Guest: Megan
Absent with lame-O excuse: I-O
Late: Chair

4D distributes vitamin D to all but Woodsy.
4D offers to take minutes so that they will be done right.

Pandora suggests that 4D also draw pictures of those present like court reporters do.

Our Consultant, Megan, arrives. Conch Shell is introduced and gets up to go.
"Any word on posting?" she is asked.

"Very, very soon. Like this weekend." And she leaves.

Megan settles in. 4D checks to see she is wearing the top that makes her breasts look shockingly large, but he cannot tell. And surprisingly, manages to refrain from public comment on the topic until typing these minutes.

We ask: Do you need a flip chart stand? 'No.' Laser pointers? 'No.'

Megan: You've fixed all your blogging problems.

Agatha: Oh, should we talk about the Bank Street people then?

Megan: The Bank Street Blog? ...Irony without earnestness.

Megan and the ESIs share thoughts on the Bank Street Blog. 4D announces that he will prepare a posting welcoming them to the blogosphere after he does the minutes.

Coyote: Or after Conch Shell posts. [to general laughter]

Megan: Maybe before...

What to do about Conch Shell?

Megan: Is there something she could do that doesn't involve posting?

Coyote: There's the tagline under the ESI title banner.

Agatha: But she wouldn't do that. We could post for her...

Megan: Or you could trick her. Email her a question?

Coyote: Does Conch Shell answer email?

4D: It's rare.

Agatha: Or a phone call.

Megan: And I guess it would only work once.

Pandora: Maybe it could be Conch Shell's job to never ever post.

Consensus: This would be workable and the worst that could happen is that the Oppositional Defiance Disorder prevalent among the ESIs would result in her actually posting.

Back to the ESIs
4D: Agatha, you were the one who first suggested we engage Megan as a consultant. What did you think she could bring to us?

Agatha: I've been feeling our group is too insular, it would be good to bring in people from outside. I would ask: What should we do more? What should we do less?

Megan: Just more of what you're already doing. One theme I've liked is the searching for a new muse. It's entertaining. Does it have to be only Ottawa?

[The Chair arrives. 4D asks if we should have any concerns about the in-a-delicate-condition T and her husband. "The one who pissed his pants?" asks the Chair. This brings up the issue of us creeping bloggers out. 4D shares a story of a blogger - a young woman who doesn't blog so much any more - who, at the coffee shop she always blogged about, had a fan appear and sit down with her. It creeped her out. "It wasn't me," 4D clarifies.]

Guest Bloggers
Megan agrees that the Andrew ZRX posting was a tremendous success. Pandora suggests that we could auction off the chance to post on our blog. The Andrew ZRX story is patiently explained to Pandora and no one says anything like "Where the hell have you been?" Perhaps because our guest consultant had everyone in such a lovely mood from her compliments and she is an ettiquettist after all.

Megan suggests we could have a contest with a skill-testing question to award the opportunity to be a guest blogger and the skill testing question could be the sort that makes them prove their worthiness for a guest posting.

Chair: Maybe we should turn into a Cat Blog.

Agatha: I love Duncan.

Megan: I would read anything Zoom wrote.

Consensus: Zoom has the best blog in Ottawa and we should do something to recognize that.

Chair: Or we could bring in Cousin Oliver [and then explains that Cousin Oliver was the kid brought in to revive ratings on the Brady Bunch, generally held to be that show's Shark Jump.]

4D: Maybe you could take on Cousin Oliver as a new persona. It might revive your interest in blogging.

Megan asks the Chair why he hasn't been blogging.

Chair: The City is getting boring.

Megan: The Mayor just got arrested!

4D: You have to understand, the Chair has been jaded for about 20 years.

Coyote: And before that he was just apathetic.

4D announces that he is ready to stop taking minutes.

Agatha: I'm just overwhelmed that Megan is here with us.

Chair and Coyote: We are not worthy! ... We are not worthy! [with the bowing and hand gestures]

Megan: Just do more of what you're already doing.

Official portion of meeting is adjourned. General conversation takes place in which further compliments are exchanged. The ESIs also interact with other patrons of the establishment, one of whom introduces himself as a reader. 4D's does a brilliant thespian portrayal of a person who is ignorant of the Elgin Street Irregulars, but the fellow persists, points out that we're sitting with AsteroideaPress and tells the 4th Dwarf that he is the 4th Dwarf.

And who are you? Asks the Dwarf, wondering why he is the only one who ever gets outed.

davewoods.ca says the young man. Who then insists he is not part of any group blog. Even though 4D narrows his eyes the second time he asks.

"Perhaps we should stop addressing each other by our aliases when we're in public," says the Dwarf after the young man rejoins his dining companion.