Things that should be paralyzing Ottawa in 2009

1. The City of Ottawa master-computer goes to war with the NCC master-computer. Snowplows battle it out with ice groomers while humans cower in their homes.
2. Everyone is grounded because all jetpacks made since 2005 are recalled to replace exploding components created by Moscow hackers who want to claim the 2nd-coldest capital honour for their city.
3. A coolant leak shuts down the superconducting coil in the monorail system.
4. City is evacuated because northwest winds are bringing a radioactive fallout cloud from a nuclear meltdown at Deep River.
5. A new psycho-pharmaceutical has made everyone telepathic so there is no need to go anywhere.