Google Poem: 21 Things

1. The important thing is that you got it done.
2. The amusing thing is that I didn't really lose any weight.
3. The sad thing is that when Einstein was about, there were ample indicators that Newton had fallen on his face.
4. The interesting thing is that, if you're creative, there may be things at work that you're not even aware of.
5. The ironic thing is that this may be a very progressive thing.
   
6. No, the strange thing is that in almost every story people will sleep part of, or in many cases, the entire night, on top of the corpse before reporting it.
   
7. The odd thing is that I’m OK with this schizophrenia. I enjoy it even.
   
8. The unfortunate thing is that it’s always very late.
9. The sensation is unbelievable ... and the amazing thing is that it just never stops.
10. The scary thing is that you're on a starvation diet and your BMI is only 20.7.
11. The weird thing is that Adolf Hitler haircut that Tom Cruise is wearing these days.
    
12. Indeed, the remarkable thing is that in Spain there is a species of wild goat, the Spanish Ibex, Capra pyrenaica.
13. The surprising thing is that Mike had no idea I’ve been blogging about online video sites for months.
    
14. The neatest thing is that I can even watch naughty movies.
15. The coolest thing is that ALL of the sound effects are synthesized in realtime, on the fly!
    
16. The oddest thing is that 8 maids-a-milking only cost $41.20.
    
17. The funniest thing is that Russian soldiers have fewer rights than prisoners.
    
18. The worst thing is that we work non-profit, so we don't make very much.
    
19. The weirdest thing is that while it's the loudest tune on the set, it features Norman Blake on acoustic guitar with Burnett.
20. The cruellest thing is that their enormous size makes them all the more distended and more tempting to pop.
    
21. The saddest thing is that i have to go home after all the shangrilas by myself .
    

[*]

Meta Contest Update

So far we have 5 entries in the new Meta Contest:

1. Urban Pedestrian: one of Aggie's home-made muumuus;
2. Woodsy: the t-shirt with "Rock on" spelled out on the front and "Anyhoo" on the back specifically, one of those very tight slinky numbers (size petite);
3. Urban Pedestrian: a new pair of pink go-go boots, size 7 1/2;
4. Harmony: World Peace; specifically first inner disarmament, then outer disarmament; and
5. Apostrophe: a kick in the ass.

One of the contestants has decided to call on various world leaders to influence our decision-making. Perhaps this will sway other contest judges, but not me.

You still have time to enter, and the earlier you enter, the more time you have for your lobbying efforts.

City of Spires II

(Or: The Environment Is the Economy...)
(... Stupid.)

Each autumn, I become a cranky coyote. Something to do with being 'bout six thousand years old, and having the arthritis that goes with that, even if I am partly mythical. And really, I'm not very patient with patent stupidity at the best of times.

When ya combine these two coyote factoids in a guy that watches CPAC while he gnaws his coffeebreak bones (I know. Perverse. And likely to cause indigestion.) ya can imagine the extremity of the yapping aimed at the TV.

I'm especially fascinated (read: 'galled') lately by politipeople who claim to know what's going on in this country cautioning us that "we must balance environmental concerns against the needs of a healthy economy."

Fuck. The environment is the economy.

Let's make this simple, with a metaphor even I can understand: piss in your own bed (or, say, souse it with oil sand tailings) and it ain't worth nothin' anymore -- to you, your children, or anybody else. Everything, including the economy, will be damp, smelly and unhealthy. Why is this simple connection so hard for allegedly 'smart politicians' and 'smart businessmen' to grasp?

So, check out the wondrous sky over Parliament Hill. Because global climate change starts there...

Return of the Meta Contest

The time has come to launch the second part of the meta contest.

How to Win:

• Before 7pm, Thursday, 8 November 2007, write a comment on this post suggesting a prize.

The Winner Will Receive:

• The very prize that they suggested.

The Winner will be determined by consensus of the Elgin Street Irregulars. No consensus = No winner.

Words that won't get you laid

Audrey sent me a link today for a piece by Ariel Leve on the Times online. I suspect that Audrey agrees with Ms Leve.

Words Not To Live By

Sometimes someone will say something and immediately, I’ll lose interest in continuing the rest of the conversation.

A few years ago I went out with a man who ended a message on my answering machine with “rock on”
As in, “I’ll try you again tomorrow….rock on.”
What’s wrong with good-bye? Or nothing at all. Just hang up. We weren’t meant to be.
I’ve discussed this with a few of my friends and I’m not alone. Certain sayings can be an instant turn off.

Here is a partial, not comprehensive, list of things people should stop saying:

1. Pardon my French (after cursing)

2. Anyhoo

3. We’re not in Kansas anymore

4. Rock on

5. What’s the plan Stan?

6. Give me a shout

7. Fancy Shmancy

8. I’m just calling to say howdy

9. Hell-o?

10. Who’d of thunk it?

Now I understand why I so seldom had calls returned after I said "Give me a shout" on voicemails. I wish I had seen this list a long time ago. At least before I bought the t-shirt with "Rock on" spelled out on the front and "Anyhoo" on the back.

Are there other phrases I should be avoiding?