Saturday

Avoiding the elephant in the womb


On a recent visit to one of my ancestral homelands, I met up with an old friend who is with child. She was waiting for me on the sidewalk outside the little bakery and, being one day past her due date, I had no trouble spotting her from quite a distance. I'm sure several people using Google Earth also saw her.

But I'm glad I knew in advance that she was expecting. I still remember chatting with a colleague about her children at a Christmas party, motioning to her belly and asking, "And when's the next one due?"

I might as well have said, "I hear you have AIDS! How's that going?" or "What's it really like being a neo-Nazi?"

Her terse reply: "I'm not sure we will have another child."

Things have become even more complicated now that men are starting to give birth.

Last spring I was mildly chastised by an acquaintance in Vancouver who asked why I hadn't mentioned anything about her pregnancy when I saw her the previous day at a conference. To be honest, I just didn't notice. But even if I had, what's a guy to say? Over a drink, she and two other women agreed that none of them would blurt out, "So, you're having a baby!" if they weren't really sure.

As my Grade 12 chemistry teacher probably still says, "When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me."

Image: http://www.theflorentine.net/, Issue no. 85

Friday

Call her first, she may be in curlers...

From the Chair's inbox:

Public events for September 7, 2008
5 September 2008
Ottawa, Ontario

Public event for Prime Minister Stephen Harper for Sunday, September 7th is:

Ottawa

8:05 a.m. – Prime Minister Stephen Harper will leave 24 Sussex en route to Rideau Hall to meet with Governor General MichaĆ«lle Jean to ask her to dissolve the 39th Parliament for an election call October 14th, 2008.

24 Sussex
Ottawa, Ontario

* Open to Media *

Coming soon: The Chair's Guide to the Federal Election

Saturday

RNDP 14: A Google Poem - People who need a new paradigm

* From now on, I'm dating myself

* From now on, I'm dating gardeners

* you are just a little boy, And from now on, I'm dating men

* from now on I'm dating girls with no front teeth

* From now on I'm dating better looking boys

* from now on I'm dating on a first come first serve basis

* From now on…I'm dating myself. I mean I already talk to myself so I know my conversations will be good

* From now on I'm only dating Hungarians

* from now on I am only dating Korean women!

* From now on, I’m done dating. That’s it. Over.

* From now on I am only dating girls from North Carolina

* from now on I am dating individual pages as I update them

* from now on I am sticking to sex, dating, sex, women, sex, and drinking...ohh and sex.

* from now on i be better of just dating truly bi people

* From now on, when I'm looking through the dating personals, I'm going to be looking for a mature girl

* From now on, I'll be dating Full Filipinos

* from now on, unless I'm seriously dating someone who really wants me to change it, "single" on my MySpace means "not married"

* from now on I only will be dating playboy bunnies or rich good looking women!

* From now on, I'm only dating orphans

* From now on I'm only dating girls with ugly moms

* from now on I'm only dating sitter-downers

* From now on I am only dating nice guys, forget the slick player types

* From now on I'm only dating thoroughbred dime pieces, that may have stripped and/or posed nude, but are still good people

* From now on, I'm only dating married women

* From now on, I'm only dating hands

["From now on I * dating"]

Monday

Note to aspiring buskers

To the civilian bagpiper in full skirl, and his pal, the enthusiastic plastic pail drummer, who together led a small impromptu parade of friends down Somerset Street at 11:30 PM on Sunday night:

Interesting idea. Not good. But interesting.

Saturday

Explanations you pervs force us to make

Found myself having to add extra words to an email to our old friend the Chair[1] this week.

From: Fourth Dwarf
To: The Chair
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2008 11:06 PM
Subject: Weed whacker and hedge trimmer

No, this is not about the topic predominating recent ESI postings.

I've got an electric weed whacker for you.

Also, if you'd like, an electric hedge trimmer.

For your garden. Come on.

- 4
1 Do you remember the Chair? He used to blog here. Witty fellow.
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