Proposed temporary interim position on waxing, until we can call an Emergency Meeting and ratify the minutes . . .

Ooh. Ouch.

The Dangers of Slacking Off

Have you read Zoom's latest posting? She says Ottawa bloggers are "remarkably uninspired lately" (including herself for the past two days) and has handed out assignments. For us, she says:

I had lunch with one of the Elgin Street Irregulars today and I had a brilliant idea for a series of posts for them. I don’t want to give it all away, but it would start with an official ESI policy statement on chocha shaving.

Let's make one thing clear. I did not have lunch with Zoom today (and I have an alibi witness if I need one.)

More importantly, now we have to call an Emergency meeting to decide if we should have a policy statement on bare chochas; then if we decide we should, we'll have to come up with the policy statement. But it won't end there. If we're going to take a stand on that topic, people will expect us to take a stand on other important topics. For instance, who do we endorse for President between Paris Hilton and Britney Spears?

I hope this is a wakeup call to you ESIs who have been taking it easy. When we don't metablog, we leave a vacuum that is filled by the less qualified.

RNDP 13: Avatars

This week's adventure in the quest for an RNDP takes us to Omnidate.com, where an enterprising Toronto couple have created a virtual world where people looking for love can send their avatars on virtual dates. Vidya Rao of Columbia News Service explains how it works:

Through OmniDate, users choose avatars, or animated images, that will represent them on their dates. They are given the option to choose from six male or six female avatars, with each wearing a different outfit and hairstyle. For both genders, the avatars have one option each that clearly represents a person of color.

Virtual dates can include touring a museum gallery, going to a bar, listening to the user's choice of music in a lounge or even going to the beach. The avatars can interact with each other to express emotion. Type in “LOL,” for example, and users can make their avatars giggle. They can also direct them to blow kisses, hold hands, yawn and even roll their eyes to let the person on the other side of the screen know exactly how much they are or aren’t enjoying the date. [Full Article]

Omnidate's blogger tells us "an average virtual date lasts over half an hour" and predicts that in a couple of years, "dating sites without a virtual dating component will be considered lame and will experience a major decline."

4D Analysis: In Omnidate's world, you can "blow kisses", but you can't try out your moves. Major drawback. On the other hand, you'll be able to tell how fast the other person can type and that may tell you something about their manual dexterity. Possibly important to you.

Although new, and maybe even paradigmatic, I'm not going to think about endorsing it as a new dating paradigm until they incorporate smell effects technology.

We've yet to have any of our fieldworkers report back on an Omnidate virtual date, but you can click on the image below to watch to see how a date that lasts less than half an hour might go.

Urban Olympics:Bank Street Hurdles

Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2007-07-15 "Supporting Aggie"

Venue: The Usual Spot

Present: 4th Dwarf, Agatha, Conch Shell, Chair, Coyote, Independent Observer, Woodsy
Guests: Audrey, Harmony, Painted Stick

Absent with lame-O excuse: Nobody
Late: Nobody

4D is assigned responsibility for minutes. He uses this to imperiously rearrange the seating so he can hear people speak and Audrey and Painted Stick are not forced to participate in agenda items that will bore them and consequently cause them to sidetrack us from our important deliberations.

European Office Report:

IO passes around photos detailing the latest advances in furnishing of the Western-Europe office. All present make the appropriate noises and comments. 4D refrains from asking why IO has no images of cuties from RNDP fieldwork.

Our Old Friend:

Aggie asks about our feelings on recent developments.

IO: Damn his [redacted] loins!

Aggie: Who is anti-condom these days?

Male Chorus: {uncomfortable silence}

Woodsy: Everybody?

Chair: I like condoms. I also like showering with my socks on.

Coyote: Will this be front channel?

Woodsy: Did you say there's going to be French?

4D: Front channel, Woodsy, not French channel.

Woodsy: So what about the date request?

IO: We never got a thank you for the marriage.

{Woodsy is filled in on old ESI history.}

Chair: Bring back the dude.

C.S.: It's time for a come back.

Chair: We've run out of anything interesting we can do.

4D: Hey!

Aggie: There, there, 4D, you and Coyote are carrying the blog.

Coyote: She needs new rules of engagement.

IO: Number One - Avoid engagement.

Chair: The lower-case poet!

Some honourable member: Absolutely not!

Aggie: Anyone else ruled out?

Coyote: The Dude.

Chair: M?

Aggie: No M.

Coyote: And there is no Fifth Rule of Engagement.

How Can We Support Aggie?

Aggie introduces her problem: People say to me, '"Hey, Boss."

IO and Chair request a report on Aggie's sabbatical.

Aggie: I can do that.

IO: We meant right now.

A: No, I can blog it.

IO: How about a 10 to 25 word synopsis?

A: In a poem?

IO: No, not a haiku.

All stare at Aggie for an uncomfortably long period.

4D: Um...

A: I need some time.

4D: So, Aggie, you need support. What is falling? What is sagging?

Woodsy: Even before he said that, I was about to suggest new underwear.

Aggie: I like good concrete advice. Especially management advice from people who've managed.

Some honourable member: Listen more than you talk.

Harmony: You can't be their friend.

Woodsy: But you can be friendly... No high heels or fancy nails.

CS: It's like parenting.

A: How?

Coyote: You can't let them smell your fear.

4D: We're tossing out all this management advice you can read anywhere. Let's talk about what you specifically need. You can't be their friend. Does this mean you don't have anyone to have lunch with?

Some honourable female member: Or yoga?

Chair: We could show up in power suits and snake skin boots.

Woodsy: Always with a kiss, kiss.

A brief interruption from Painted Stick and Audrey's end of the meeting table.

Painted Stick: We're discussing weight.

Audrey: I have to keep the same weight for the next 60 years.

Chair: Put on a pound a month and he'll never notice.

Audrey: As long as it's in the breasts!

Aggie points to herself and raises her eyebrows to bring us back to the agenda.

We are still on the power suit visits.

Woodsy: You're welcome to give me a little pat on the ass as we leave.

Aggie: That's good because we have a lesbian friendly office.

Chair: Corset Fridays!

Harmony: Let it be noted that Woodsy was eager to help purchase corsets.

The meeting is informally adjourned as conversation drifts to Aggie's crush on Milan and issues involving carbon dating.