An irrelevant paws

These are the grey days that try a semimythical coyote's soul. I have many reasons why this is so. Sadly, they are unrelated. So no neat themes or clever segues in this post. Just the usual dogged shagginess. Or shagged dogginess....

1) I have noted that Mr Harpo's personal political party has had a bad week PR-wise, nabbed with their Tory-blue mitts all over the government treasury. And not-so-kosher Conservative Party logos all over the economic stimulation cheques with which they've been stimulating ummm, mainly their own backyards.

The fallback for Tories caught out doing this stuff has become any number of variations on, "Hey, Liberals did it before we did! This ploy's transparency is the only transparent thing left in Mr Harpo's government.

Some people want to fly with the eagles. Some wanna swim with the dolphins. These guys aspire to dredge beneath the bottom feeders.

I've suggested ad nausaeum already that Mr Harpo's idea of political discussion has narrowed to crudely partisan hype. Which I'm afraid means that his ideal governmental model is (ooh, here it comes, wait for it...) a ummm, hypocracy...

2) Light Rail: The mayor says his new plan is visionary. Well, all righty then. He should know....

3) Lansdowne Live. No. Just no. I refuse to go there.

4) Certain doggies have racked up one or two arthritic joints in the last six millenia, and each autumn the chill in the wind takes a little more getting used to.

So I'll take a brief (heh...) paws to recommend Grace Ottawa on Bank Street as purveyors of the best darned handwarmers in town. They cost a buck and a quarter each, they come pre-heated, they're an ideal size, and the toasty Jamaican glow lasts well beyond the time needed for any crosstown jaunt. (I have no idea what makes 'em so heat-retentive, but those chemical HotShot thingies that Crappy Tire sells got nothing on these babies...) Bonus: they're still hot enough to eat and enjoy after the trip, with or without Caribbean pepper sauce. You may want to consider 'em for the coming Ottawa Zombie Walk or the Sandy Claws Parade. And in the interest of full disclosure I want to say that I hold no financial or fiduciary interest in Grace and that that this celebrity endorsement is completely unsolicited. You're welcome!

5) There is no fifth thing. It's a trope. Deal with it.

Urban Olympics:Bank Street Hurdles

RNDP 7: Beyond the salmon skin bikini

Time out! Enough about revolutionary new paradigms that require actual thinking - or, worse yet, actual change - by would-be daters. Too much work and not enough profit potential for ESI Inc.

Instead, let's go the Cosmopolitan Magazine route. Heck, they have at least a half-dozen revolutionary new dating paradigms per issue, if the covers at the checkout line are any guide. Most seem to involve trying new (allegedly) kinky moves, bathing suits or lingerie - so no real thought on the part of the user. Easy!

One possibility for at least half of the population hit all the local throw-way news tabloids just this past week. (Oops. The Petfinder ain't a throwaway? Who knew?) I speak, of course, of the salmon skin bikini. Why this is suddenly "new" is anybody's guess. Or more likely the work of a really frenetic and dumb-ass-lucky publicist - because as Time Magazine notes here, they first showed up in 2003. So five years ago, all you loser lifestyle editors who bought into the latest hype campaign! But hey, with any luck, the reference in the heading on this post'll get us mega hits from unsuspecting Googlers looking for the (heh...) skinny.

Anyway,, I'm thinking women who want to wear scales to find true love - you know who you are - are neglecting the traditional values. I mean, of course, not fish but reptiles. Ummm, not the ones you've dated.

Imagine yourself in one of our comfy Mumumelons®, complemented by an alluring, accompanying line of fitted snakeskin lingerie/swimming separates! To whit: CoBra® tops and Aspanty® bottoms, currently under development in Aggie's fertile fabric lab. I understand the snag so far is tanning the snake skins properly - the scaly buggers keep rubbing each other's backs with SPF 90, every time we try to hit 'em with the sunlamps...

Ecstasy

I am ecstatic (or maybe just seasonally sugar-shocked) to report that some extremely discerning example of Artificial Intelligence (or maybe just inelegance) appears to be taking our Mumumelon® product line seriously...

Onward and, uh, upward!

Hype

The Meta-Contest deadline is rapidly approaching (Nov. 8th - 7 p.m.) Although there have been a couple of solid entries, I am not feeling quite enough HYPE about this contest. Or, perhaps it is one of those contests that is just too good to be true. The Prize is THE PRIZE YOU SUGGEST, folks. How good is that? Don't deny yourself a good prize. Think about what you want, what you really want -- and ask for it!!! You have about a 1 in 10 chance of winning. And, you can submit multiple entries. No strings attached. What do you have to lose?