Words that won't get you laid

Audrey sent me a link today for a piece by Ariel Leve on the Times online. I suspect that Audrey agrees with Ms Leve.

Words Not To Live By

Sometimes someone will say something and immediately, I’ll lose interest in continuing the rest of the conversation.

A few years ago I went out with a man who ended a message on my answering machine with “rock on”
As in, “I’ll try you again tomorrow….rock on.”
What’s wrong with good-bye? Or nothing at all. Just hang up. We weren’t meant to be.
I’ve discussed this with a few of my friends and I’m not alone. Certain sayings can be an instant turn off.

Here is a partial, not comprehensive, list of things people should stop saying:

1. Pardon my French (after cursing)

2. Anyhoo

3. We’re not in Kansas anymore

4. Rock on

5. What’s the plan Stan?

6. Give me a shout

7. Fancy Shmancy

8. I’m just calling to say howdy

9. Hell-o?

10. Who’d of thunk it?

Now I understand why I so seldom had calls returned after I said "Give me a shout" on voicemails. I wish I had seen this list a long time ago. At least before I bought the t-shirt with "Rock on" spelled out on the front and "Anyhoo" on the back.

Are there other phrases I should be avoiding?

Google Poem: Preparing for the Oscars

I am eternally grateful for this feeling, for him.
I am eternally grateful for all that your father has done to help me while I'm (still) in school.
I am very grateful for the healing work that I do.
I am … most grateful for the generous support of donors and philanthropists.

I am truly grateful for life. And all the wonderful people I have in it.
I am truly grateful for your services.
I am truly grateful for this site, and for showing me a way to approach the study of antiques that I had not been exposed to before.

I am very grateful for the sympathetic and careful attention given to my book.
I am forever grateful for our four children.
I am forever grateful for Blackie, who was my best friend when I felt all alone.

To the men and women of the Onondaga County Republican Committee who worked so hard on my behalf - I am extremely grateful for all you have done.

I am forever grateful for the LIVESTRONG movement, and the passion and power of the community of cancer survivors.
I am extremely grateful for your professional advice and action in obtaining the outstanding £225.

Among many other things, I am profoundly grateful for never having heard the sound of machine gun fire or bombs exploding in my neighborhood.

[*]

Fairy tale town

Ottawa, though populated by many types that pride themselves on real-world pragmatism, is a fairy-tale town. If ya don't buy into this at first glance, go ahead, just scope out the gargoyles on that neo-Gothic pile up on the Hill. Or read one of local author Charles de Lint's books -- he's made a nice career of populating an alternate Ottawa with modern magic.

But there are plenty of other modern fairy tales here, and the fabulists to believe 'em .

The current prime minister, f'rinstance, thinks he's in control of everything... freak. He ain't a boss, so much as a strategy board-game player run amuck.

Certain of that crew of second-stringers sitting in that neo-Gothic pile up on the Hill also think they run the country. Huh. Tell the country that.

Or how 'bout this one? The assorted spin doctors that hang from the tonier walls across town think they actually fool the public. And I know from spin-doctoring. I chase my tail every morning. If I ever catch it, it's self-prescribed Band-Aids and Robaxacet all 'round... I digress.

These fairy tales are, of course, only the most obvious examples. At least to anyone possessed of half an Oreo's worth of creamy whipped filling in their bonces. StatsCan says there are 1,130,761 stories in the naked Census Metropolitan Area. I know a few. But if I told ya, I'd hafta feed you to the grotty trolls that have taken up under the Corktown Bridge. And they'd really appreciate a change from goat roti...

Minutes from Emergency Meeting: October 18

(My apologies for the delay posting the minutes. Some technical problems here).
In attendance: Coyote, 4th Dwarf, Aggie, the Independent Observer.
Purpose of meeting: To discuss AndrewZRX's email, to discuss 4th Dwarf's 7 things Meme Posting.

The meeting began badly. The IO called it for 8 p.m. at the Usual Spot. No one was there at 8 p.m. except 4th Dwarf, who is very punctual. He left, and then returned, pissed off, at 9 p.m. when the meeting really started.

In his email, AndrewZRX asked about our readership. The IO responded, 'shut-ins and prisoners'. Aggie added, 'Well, I think we have cornered the Indy women market'. 'Cornered?' 4th Dwarf asked. 'Seduced some and repelled others,' Coyote clarified. We also agreed that Zoom is a loyal reader, and we have a bunch of New Brunswick anarchists reading us as well. And, of course, we read our blog. That would be our readership, AndrewZRX. Hope that helps, hon!

Second matter of business: 4th Dwarf's responding to the 7 Things Meme without consulting the group. 4th Dwarf apologized to group, but added that if had waited for the rest of us lazy asses, it never would have happened. He added that perhaps Aggie was just uncomfortable because she was singled out for her botched ESI profiling project in which she set out to profile each ESI, but only completed ONE. Aggie fumbled, and then suggested that we need the cogent Megan to come in and bring some healing to the group. Coyote and 4th Dwarf agreed. The IO had reservations: 'Wouldn't that be like admitting weakness? Like bringing in Merrill Lynch?' Finally, all came around and agreed that we need Megan. We briefly discussed the consulting fee, then moved on to other redacted topics.

Finally, we discussed the ESI contests. Coyote said all the contests were confusing. The IO described them as a 'wilderness of mirrors'. 4th Dwarf went on a long spiel about how we need to be more open, etc.... blah blah.. Aggie suggested he use 'I-statements' instead of 'you-statements'.

Redacted redacted. Blah blah blah. Then, we all went home.

Somerset House

Somerset House, to some, is one of Ottawa's architectural and historical grand dames, even if it's appeared to fall on hard times recently. Okay, so it's on Bank, not Elgin. But we have a proprietary interest in downtown Ottawa, even if the Duke of Somerset was a rather nasty tavern before the building was sold.

The whole edifice lay vacant for a couple of years, endlessly 'awaiting renovation'. But lately things were looking up. Crews were actually renovating, and it looked like upscale retail/restaurant space was finally going to re-anchor Bank and Somerset across from the new Hartman's Independent Grocer, after a lot of arid years. At least until midway through this afternoon, when one of the walls caved in on a crew member in a skid loader in the basement. Hard news details are here, -- they got the guy out okay. These are images of emergency efforts to check the stability of the remaining building. At the time of this post, the other three walls still looked solid, but you can never tell with these things... heritage lovers, keep your fingers crossed.

CBC: Worker rescued after partial building collapse in downtown Ottawa
Citizen: Cage saves worker after building crashes down
Zoom: Swap Box survives building collapse
CBC: Downtown roads shut for 1 week near partial building collapse
Youtube: Jimmy George
CBC: Collapsing Ottawa building's owner given 55 past safety orders
Citizen: City still can't say when roads near collapsed building will open
Zoom: Swap Box saved in daring daylight rescue
Citizen: Now no frickin' idea when roads will re-open: officials
CBC: Building still collapsed; road still closed; Santy Claws Parade rerouted, for cripe's sake...