Zoom's Auction Status

Some ESIs think that Zoom is brilliant for auctioning part of her prize for winning the first Meta Contest. Others think she is stretching the spirit of the rules and wimping out. While we debate this, you, the innocent readers of the metablog, suffer. Why? Because today would have been the start date of the second Meta Contest, but we don't want it to be competing with the Auction.

When in Rome, do as Audrey does

Audrey and I were strolling by the Basilica San Lorenzo the other day when she abruptly stopped, turned and insisted I pause to have a look.

"Aren't these shoes marvellous?" she said, gazing in the men's store window. "Wouldn't it be fun if you tried them on tomorrow?"

"Fun might be stretching the boundaries of the word," I replied.

Ah, Italia. Home of Michelangelo, da Vinci, Brunelleschi.

And Gucci, Versace and Armani.

Yes, in modern Italy, sleek handbags, finely tailored suits and eye-catching shoes compete with Renaissance masterworks for the curious traveller's attention.

And for every 15th-century mural or finely chiselled marble sculpture there is at least one shop window displaying lacy lingerie, silk ties or leather coats. No wonder James Bond feels at home in Italy, gamely speeding under Venetian bridges without even wrinkling his Cardinale slacks.

Though not aggressively unfashionable, the IO spent more time under the Tuscan sun admiring frescoes than footwear. The ever-stylish Audrey, however, is a veritable Siren of foreign fashionistas. And so on occasion I found myself in her company, not comparing the brushwork of Botticelli and Michelangelo but gauging the fit of handsome wool coats.

The wares are undeniably fine. But a touch pricey in the posh boutiques. After all, does one really need to plunk down enough euros for an Armani tie to buy 20 County ales at one of the more inviting Elgin Street pubs?

Walking back to the hotel, we passed a clutch of market-stall street vendors selling less expensive yet still desirable bags, belts and scarves. In fact I picked up three fetching Italian silk ties bearing a respectable fashion-house label for a grand total of a mere 20 euros.

Take that, Mr. Versace.

Guest Posting from Zoom

After some angst and developing stress symptoms, Our first Meta Contest Winner Zoom writes:

Dear ESIs,

I am pleased to submit my guest post to you, and I thank you for your patience. It helped that Aggie pointed out it could be short.

My post consists of a single link: Click here

I trust this satisfies my contractual obligations to the ESIs.

I wish you all the best with your future contests, which I will watch from a safe distance.

Sincerely,

Zoom

Google Poem: Fifteen Potential Books

1. I want to write a book about America. Because I love America
2. I want to write a book about how date night is great for your marriage
3. I want to write a book about the series on the Word program, that would give a history on each antique
4. I want to write a book about my experiences with clients who have been healed through massage
5. I want to write a book about my life to help girls out there that have been raped or been under sexual pressure
   
6. I want to write a book about her!
7. I want to write a book about the struggle I have gone through in the last 8 years trying to get businesses and ideas off the ground
8. I want to write a book about Multiple Sclerosis and its effects on the average person.
9. I want to write a book about teaching children about death and dying. It will be a book that parents and children can read together
10. I want to write a book about my life, not that my life is that meaningful, but there have been 32 bizarre incidents that have happened...
11. I want to write a book about my experiences - life before diagnosis, the hell of hospital treatment, life after etc.
12. I’ve been busy researching a book I want to write - a book about a poor woman living around 1910
13. ...when I got called by the "Today" show, I thought well, it's now or never if I want to write a book about the hobo journey
14. I want to write a book about what it was like to be a slave
    
15. I want to write a book about everything I don’t remember.

[*]

Aggie's perfect storm

Zoom needs a little time to pull her extra-special prize guest bloggage together, but watch this space. It's coming soon, and it's gonna be brilliant! In the meantime, to cover, I'll do what ESIs do best. No, not that. I mean metablogging.

It has become overwhelmingly needful to metablog our own Essex girl.

Evidence suggests Aggie has found that the road to new-age enlightenment is no easy thing, strewn as it is with a perfect storm of pitfalls. And bad hair days. Not to mention bent-to-broken metaphors. Poor thing is now so confused, she's laying off drinking and trying to reinvent herself as a common craft blogger...

What are the ethics, here? Aggie is one of us. I mean, I love her, and she is, like Mary Poppins, Practically Perfect in Every Way. Uh, but she remains in place as our next-best Muse. Better yet, she's not here to defend herself... and we need material. No honour among metabloggers. 'Nuff said.

Anyway, I was at Bank & Slater yesterday, nose to the ground, sniffin' opportunity, when I chanced to look up. And was struck with awe. I mean, the signage at this one corner has Aggie's enlightenment covered: martini lounge named for her favorite yoga position, strong coffee options, a hair salon to repair the unfortunate mullet experiment, and a relaxing day spa. The salon's name? Perfection. Nothing better than that.

And what about that constant, soothing flow of large American cars, huh?

Truly, when one seeks satori, the devil is in the distractions. Crafting? Aggie, we barely recognize you! Just ignore the proven fact that when anyone in a dysfunctional group tries to change for the better, other members will pressure her to return to old, familiar patterns, so they can avoid confronting their own dysfunctions. Instead, think about this, Ags: Lotus Martini Lounge!