Field Report from Audrey

Earlier today, the lovely Audrey sent this report from Venice to update us on the progress she and the Independent Observer are making on their Italian research mission.

8:30 a.m. The IO woke with a start and saw it was too early to get up. He channel-surfed through CNN, Sky News, BBC World Service, ten Italian stations, one French station, and one German station. 'Street Legal' was on in Italian. Another Canadian drama was on the French channel, with subtitles en francais.

9:30 a.m. Breakfast in the elaborately frescoed dining room with Audrey. The IO tried to ignore the insistent American tourist who kept badgering the Japanese waitress: 'Two cappuccinos... two cappuccinos... two cappuccinos... two cappuccinos...' The IO ate a croissant with jam, two slices of ham, two pieces of Swiss cheese, a bowl of tinned peaches and fruiti di bosco yogurt. He yearned for fresh fruit. Although he was longing for a coffee, he delayed ordering his caffè Americano because of the irritating American tourist.

A gondolier sailed past the window singing O sole mio and the IO turned to the window and focussed his camera on the party of tourists in the boat. One of the tourists, a cute brunette, focussed her camera on him.

10:30 a.m. Leaving the hotel for a day of sightseeing, the IO says hello ('ciao!') to the comely receptionist, and wondered yet again if she was really Italian (she seemed to speak perfect Italian), or if she was Austrian, German or Swiss. Or Swiss-German? She was fair with freckles... He thought about asking her where she was from but Audrey's beckoning kept him on his path to the front door.

11:30 a.m. - 8:30 p.m. The IO was kept busy with tourist activities: the John Singer Sargent exhibition of Venetian paintings (marvellous!), shopping with Audrey (Her frequent plea: 'Sorry, sorry , sorry, but could we just look in this shoe store...'), a tour of the Doge's Palace, a walk along the canals, making mini-movies of pigeons in Piazza San Marco with Audrey.

8:30 p.m. Audrey asks 'Is that your friend?' The IO turns to see. A glamorous blonde floats across the Piazza San Marco in a long white skirt with a tight, light-pink blouse. It is the friend the IO is to meet. She embraces the IO and extends her hand to Audrey. All the men nearby are envious. The IO decides that it will be an interesting evening...

11:30 p.m. All have finished dinner. They are walking along the street, near the Rialto Bridge. The glamorous blonde is looking for a café that she remembers from the week before, when she was out with her classmates. Audrey is looking dejected - she is footsore and tired of drinking. She does not love wine as the others do. Plus, she is the third wheel! The IO does not notice that the glamorous blonde wants to be out and about, to have fun, to be seen, to be admired. His repeated requests to stop at quiet bars or to sit at quaint piers are rejected. However, when it is time to go home, he gallantly escorts the glamorous blonde to her boat, and then across the canal to the island where she has an apartment. He kisses her goodbye, on the cheeks. He returns to the hotel by vaporetto.

Venice has blindsided this reporter with her beauty.

Minutes: Emergency Meeting 27 September 2007

Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: Conch Shell, Fourth Dwarf, Coyote, Agatha (no guests)
Absent with good excuse and notice: Independent Observer
Absent with possibly good excuse but no notice: The Chair
Emergency: Blog in Peril and Meta-Contest
Called by: Agatha
Minutes by: 4D

1. Quorum Count

Those present express their hopes that the IO is enjoying and making good progress on his research mission. Coyote suggests that the Chair is likely engaged in activities that all agree would be noble and an acceptable excuse for absence if we had been notified. There was no motion for censure.

4D points out an attractive young man and woman at a nearby table "do you think they are on a lavalife date?" Consensus: Yes.

4D asks "Did he bring the bicycle seat? If so, is that wise for a first date?"

Agatha, CS and Coyote think it is fine. 4D maintains that it hampers his ability to take her back to her place, share a cab or walk with her after the date. Plus, it draws attention to his possible lack of a car and likely anal retentiveness that he worries about his seat and flasher being stolen.

Agatha and CS note that the woman's skirt is not a good one for cycling, but that the seat and post are so much on her side of the table that it suggests it is hers. Agatha: "Of course, the seat is a phallic symbol."

Coyote: Then what would the rear flasher be?

Conch Shell: A clitoris.

2. The Meta -Contest

4D reviews the contest entries. Each entry is discussed in detail and a winner is chosen.

Aggie: "Do you notice the possible height difference?" All agree that it looks like the woman might be taller than the man. This and her striking beauty may explain why the man seems a bit nervous.

4D: "This could mean that it is not a Lavalife date. Lavalife lets people search on height. It might be OKCupid or Facebook.

3. The Blog in Peril

Aggie: Do we shut down our side projects?

4D admits that all he is doing at Swabbin' th' Deck these days is posting Google poems and he'd put them on the ESI blog but he wasn't sure the others wanted him to. Agatha tells 4D that she loves his Google poems especially the recent one dedicated to Conch Shell. Coyote says, "yeah they're good." Conch Shell indicates that she would probably like them if she had time to read them. With this outpouring of encouragement, 4D announces that he will stop posting on his side project and only post here.

In discussing Coyote's Screeching Orb Singing Moon, Coyote tells us that the work he posts there is written in a different voice and for a different purpose than what he posts on our blog. We all nod in an understanding way and press the poet no further.

4D notes that some of Aggie's postings on the Elgin Street Muse could be posted on ours, while many seem more suited to being on her own personal blog. We have a brief discussion about the difference between the two types of posting, being careful not to say anything that turns Aggie's quivering lower lip into outright crying.

Consensus: 4D will put all his work on ESI, Coyote is already carrying his weight here, Aggie should continue to place her fabulous postings wherever she thinks is best.

Aggie: Now he's playing with the tail light.

CS: You know what that means.

Coyote: Huh? What?

4D: He knows where it is and he knows what to do with it.

CS: Do we need another muse?

All agree that we do, but they are hard to find. 4D suggests that people just aren't baring their souls on the web like they used to. They've learned that as anonymously as they do it, they'll get outed and suffer for it. Aggie: "There are still exhibitionists out there."

Consensus: We will keep looking and perhaps blog more of our search.

Aggie: She's talking about her mother.

CS: Oh that's good.

4D: Oh, yes, very good. Unlike if he was talking about his mother.

Invite someone else to join the blog?

Shying away from this can of worms, we discuss the possibility of instead just inviting one or two of our favourite bloggers to an Emergency Meeting. 4D notes that two of them gave a workshop on blogging on the weekend. "Perhaps we could bring one of them in as a consultant, kind of like when he brought in the Ethics Consultant. They could give us advice on tuning up the blog or finding a new direction." Coyote: "A change management consultant. I like that."

Consensus: We will mull this idea over and come back to it at the next Emergency Meeting.

Aggie: She's flirting with [the waiter]. Nice touch.

All agree.

4D: What about the Schedule?

Aggie: The schedule really doesn't work well for those of us with Oppositional Defiance Disorder like me and the Chair.

CS: It also doesn't work for those of us who are INFP and I think both Aggie and I are INFP.

Coyote: What's INFP?

CS: A Meyer's Briggs classification.

Coyote: Oh yeah, I think I'm that too.

4D: Well, the schedule works well for me. Knowing that I'm supposed to post something on Sunday allows me to post without worrying about the content. It worked for the Chair a couple of times, he posted things that he might not have otherwise that were really good.

Consensus: 4D will post on Sundays. Everyone else will post whenever they feel like it.

Aggie: She's self-touching.

4D: But it's her leg below the table where he can't see it.

Aggie: Doesn't matter. It's a good sign.

4D: So do you think sex tonight?

CS: No!

Aggie: I think could be.

Coyote: I don't think so with his body language.

4D: I think she'd be ready for it, but he's too nervous to make a move. All these signs that are so clear to us are like a fog to him.

4D: So Conch Shell, is there any chance of you posting again?

CS: "Yes. There is." We have a brief discussion on the mollusk endangerment work that has occupied so much of Conchie's time lately. CS is encouraged to write about how she has dealt with the anxieties surrounding this project.

Consensus: All look forward to CS' return to blogging. 4D and Coyote indicate they are happy to assist with graphical support.

4D: She's paying with a credit card.

Aggie: He paid at the counter.

Coyote: So Dutch treat. Bad sign, right?

4D: [Shrugs] Who knows with kids these days.

The meeting is adjourned.

A new couple takes the table next to the ESI table. He is perhaps ten years older than her.

Coyote: He's dressed like a slob and she's dressed like a model. I don't see this going anywhere.

A dog's breakfast of Zen

Since the beginning of the month, my random pirouettes around the interwebby thingy have seemed to me to point to a theme. Maybe it's a cyber-cosmic message, maybe it's merely what passes for continuity in an ADD doggy's mind. But I kept thinking 'Ah, mindfulness' as I played whack-a-mole with the mouse.

Our own Aggie led off with not one but two exposés of her meditation experiences. Zen mindfulness up the yin-yang, there. Then, this weekend, I chanced on a fresh posting by Evey, who at a Ladyfest workshop this past weekend heard -- and more importantly, took to heart -- the good advice of a couple of ESI favorites, Jen Whiteford and Megan Butcher: "Give value to what you write: blogs, zines, anything."

Aha! That mindfulness thing again. Because ya can spew any old thing down -- dog knows enough people do -- but it usually ain't very elegant unless the writer has valued the exercise enough to put thought and practice into it.

Now, 'giving value' can, and should, mean a bunch of different things vis-a-vis the craft of writing, but it boils down to the simple fact that one has to pay attention to what one is doing on several levels. The usual basic grammar and spelling, of course, but also the theme that one is trying to impart, the structure of the prose, the flow of the words, their sound in the mind, and so on. They're all tools of writing, and like Aggie's mindful breathing, they tend to work better the less you actually have to consciously think about 'em. Think too hard about the tools, and the craft or (sullen) art suffers. Yet, starting out, you have think about 'em and sweat about 'em, until they become a part of one's instinctive vocabulary.

Mindfulness, I think (har!) is more about paying attention, allowing the rather valuable mental and emotional processes that one usually drowns out with one's own self-generated day-to-day static to rise in one's consciousness. No matter if you call it mindfulness, finding a groove, or being productive, it's kind of a cool place to be, whether you're learning to breathe or learning to write. Of course, most writers keep learning to write for their entire lives. And most people kinda ignore breathing their entire lives, except when they're forced to stop for some reason...

Anyway, the fact that Evey cares about taking care is a fine beginning. That, and the fact that she's also pretty good already. It'll be interesting to see where she goes with it.

Disclosure and disclaimer: I'm a smartass dog, for pete's sake. I know nothing about Zen. Apparently in some circles this makes me a master...

Photo: Cockeyed.com

The Meta Contest

Hello Readers, following a suggestion from the graceful blogger Zoom, the Elgin Street Irregulars are having a contest.

The Prize:

1. You get to put a posting on our blog! Your writing will be read by dozens of readers; it might get picked up by OttawaStart; and anyone googling "Elgin Street" in the following week, might just read it!
2. We'll put a link to your blog in the sidebar! Along with text and images recognizing your accomplishment!
3. The Chair will put a video in the sidebar as an obscure reference to something on your blog sometime in the next few months so that we all have to keep reading you so we can understand it.

What You Have to Do:

1. Suggest another contest we can have in the next few weeks in the comments to this post.
2. Enter by 7:00pm Eastern Daylight Time (Ottawa time) on Thursday, 27 September 2007
3. Make a suggestion that will be adopted by consensus at an Emergency Meeting of the ESIs, or if consensus cannot be reached, by winning a plurality in a reader poll.
   

Emergency Meeting - Blog in Peril

The Elgin Street Irregulars blog seems to be in peril-- despite occasional brilliant postings by its members. Here are some questions I believe we need to discuss in our next emergency meeting.

What is the future of the Elgin Street Irregulars blog? Should we let the ESI blog die? If so, should we create something new, inviting new membership, with new goals, a new mission statement, etc? Or, should we keep flogging the dead horse of finding a muse? How can we inject new life into our blog?

Perhaps we should extend these questions to our readership and blogging experts for their input.

Minutes will be posted at a later date. Stay tuned.