A Blogger's Guide to Delaying Discovery of Your Secret Identity

If you write an interesting pseudonymous blog, people will be curious about who you really are. Although they wish you no harm, many will treat finding your secret identity like a fun puzzle to solve. If they meet someone you work with, they won't be able to stop themselves from saying something like, "do you work with a curly-haired woman who went to Queens and recently adopted a schnoodle puppy?"

The following tips will help you to delay discovery:

1. Create your blog with an email address that looks like yourpseudonym@gmail.com. Use only this address for anything connected to your blog.
2. Lie about details that identify you or the people you write about. Make a list so you're consistent. Change hair colour, home towns, neigbourhoods, work places, birth day, month and year.
   
3. This means you cannot say what astrological sign you are. It will be okay. People will still understand that you have a complicated personality without knowing that you are a Scorpio with Taurus rising.
   
4. If you have a hobby or career that you have to write about, find some way to throw us off track. If you play the dobro, tell us you play the banjo.
   
5. Do not reveal how you placed in a specific competition.
6. Lie about where you go to yoga.
7. Lie about where you go for coffee.
8. Do not reveal your usual spot.
9. Do not use the same artistic style in drawings on your pseudonym blog that you use on your real name blog.
10. Don't link to your friends' sites unless they are also using pseudonyms and following these guidelines.
11. Don't comment on your friends' sites under your pseudonym.
12. Moderate your comments and do not approve any that reveal personal details about yourself that you have not already revealed.

And remember, you are only delaying discovery. Eventually people will know your secret identity.

Cheering on Andrew ZRX

Andrew Andrew
ZRX
We want you to write about SEX!
Give us an S
Give us an E
Give us an X

SEX!! SEX!! SEX!!

Encouraging AndrewZRX

There were 25 responses and the poll is over so I have sent the following message to our friend AndrewZRX:

Andrew,

Hello from me and your friends at the Elgin Street Irregulars Blog.

How are you? I trust you are well and that the reason we haven't heard from you is that your life is full of fun and excitement. If you are under the weather, I hope you are taking your vitamin D to compensate for the lack of sunshine in your day.

I realized we haven't given you much assistance with your blog posting prize so I ran a poll to see what our readers would be most interested in.

You can see the results at this link.

The bottom line: Somebody out there would like to read just about anything you write unless it's about politics.

You'll notice that 10 people would like you to divulge "an embarassing sexual incident" from your recent past, but I would take this with a grain of salt. I know some of those people and there are plenty of sexual incidents they have no desire to hear about.

So far, four people, one of whom would have to be your friend Zoom, say they would like you to write a posting that concisely touches on all the topics in the poll. I say that these people are demanding and greedy and should not be pandered to. Essentially they are asking you, a complete novice, to write the ultimate (or Platonic ideal) blog posting.

Instead, why not tell us about your pet?

Your friend,
Fourth

p.s. I'll be posting this on the blog and suggesting that readers use the comments to the posting to encourage you, ask questions, or make suggestions.

Yahoo Poem: Why Audrey?

I like Audrey because she sticks. By my side.
I like Audrey because she is funny. She tells the story of how she solves a crime.
I like Audrey because she is so pretty! Who is she?
I like Audrey because she's bold
I like Audrey because she gives heart and emotion to the series.
I like Audrey because of her sense of style
I like Audrey because she is in my homeroom
I like Audrey because she kicks girlie butt! I wouldn't wanna mess with her myself!
I like Audrey because to me she always dressed the part of a lady.
I like Audrey because she's very funny and natural.
I like Audrey because she's a smart, independent woman who's shown loyalty and quick thinking.

[The Search]

Man, I feel like (telling) a woman

An intimate reflection from Audrey

I have noticed that, recently, I have had some very deep conversations with men.

They have frequently taken place at the Usual Spot. They have also taken place at small dinner parties (including my own), hockey parties in private homes and bars (Go Sens Go!), and even at weddings (esp. while eating yummy Greek food).

As well, I have had these conversations during vacations in Europe with friends, in e-mail messages, and on the phone.

It seems that, these days, my male friends and I are always cautioning each other, don't blog this, before launching into a detailed story. We seem to be opening up more to each other. It seems that we suddenly all know about each others' salaries and mortgages and love lives and, unfortunately, angst.

In the past, only my boyfriends would have intimate discussions with me. They would tell me of the girlfriend who left them for their best friend, of the father who beat them, of the impact on them when their parents divorced or when one of their parents passed away suddenly, of their financial and career worries.

My other male friends would discuss romances, family, work, and money, but only on a very general level. (My women friends and I have always had these intimate conversations - especially when we have been trying to figure out men!)

However, now my eyes have been opened to the fact that men worry about the same things that my women friends and I worry about!

Men worry about:
1. Why a love interest only wants to be friends with them;
2. How they should treat a love interest if that love interest is already in a relationship, but if there is undeniable chemistry between them;
3. What are the appropriate levels of intimacy with a love interest;
4. How long they should stay in their present job.
5. How to dress well, without appearing to have made any effort;
6. How to take care of friends and family members who are going through a tough time;
7. If they should rent or buy. And, if they wish to buy, should they buy a family-sized house if they are single;
8. If they should have children, get married, settle down;
9. What is the best way to live a meaningful life; and
10. How to get over a broken heart.

Have I changed, or have men?