It's a Hoot

A few years ago, when Hooters first came to Ottawa, I thought it would be entertaining to see what all the fuss was about.

A male companion and I sat down at a table, and after a long wait a cute blond waitress skipped over to us. I admired her fit body clad in tiny tight sports shorts (the kind I had worn when I was sixteen) and her tight little wife beater t-shirt with the trademark protruding owl eyes design. She placed both elbows on the table, leaned over and cleverly aimed her tits at us.

"And what can I bring you folks today," she giggled smacking her gum.

She took our order and as she wiggled off I looked at my companion curious about his reaction.

"It's all just an act you know. She's a university student trying to earn an honest living," he stuttered as I noticed the deep blush on his face.

On the Web: Dipthong and Homeslice

I'm sure you've all seen that Language Log is promoting the use of the word "dipthong" as an insult. Chris Pott's writes:

My wife's (very scholarly) Forbes Library book club is reading Jonathan Lethem's Motherless Brooklyn this month. The book seems to be full of wonderfully inventive swearing. Last night, my wife read this one aloud to me (p. 170):

If I wanted a gun, I'd get a gun, you diphthong.

Diphthong works remarkably well as a pejorative. Curious about whether this was Lethem's innovation, I searched the Net for "you diphthong", figuring that the initial pronoun would cut down on merely phonological discussions. Precision was still poor — a mixture of phonological discussions of you and fortuitous juxtapositions of these two words by programs for generating random text, but the search did turn up a few cases of genuine expressivity, and I discovered that the Urban Dictionary has an entry:

1. diphthong: A vowel combination consisting of a weak vowel and a strong one. It is more commonly used as an insult, seeing as it is a legitimately funny word.
There is a diphthong in "loud."
YOU'RE A DIPHTHONG.

[Source]

You'll be happy to know that I've gone to the Urban Dictionary and thumbs-upped the above definition. And you'll also be happy to know that other uses of dipthong as an insult show up on Google when you put an asterisk between "you" and "dipthong", for example:

• "Here you are at last, are you, you blankety-blank mick dipthong!" he yelled blood-thirstily. "Where you been? You want to make a nervous wreck outa me?
  
• I’ll go to federal prison before I play this charade with you, you duplicitous, grandstanding dipthong.

I am happy that highly-regarded Language Log (Technorati Authority: 872) is using the Urban Dictionary to promote words just like I am.

Although I am sad to see that you dipthongs (not you, Zoom) have not been voting for my definition of homeslice. Maybe if one or two of you would come through, I'd be back at number 1.

Introducing.....Ti-Gris!

Dischevelled Man (DM) and I adopted Ti-Gris the other day. We've had some bad Humane Society experiences lately where kitties were snatched right from under us, so this time we were ready. The moment Ti-Gris was brought in and put in the cage, we were all over him. He purred non-stop and kissed me. He also had a glowing write-up from his foster parents who said they "almost" adopted him themselves. Other Humane Society clients gathered around us and looked at us with envy. We had the best cat in the building! DM pointed out that we already have a gray cat. "We already discussed that," I whispered loudly. Sometimes DM doesn't remember our previous discussions.
We are doing what the Humane Society recommended and keeping Ti-Gris separate from his big brother. His big brother is not impressed....more like depressed. Ti-Gris is insane. He attacked my bare face with open claws. But he is adorable and sweet and has the motor going constantly. DM has suggested calling the Humane Society to see if we could exchange him for an older, calmer cat. This is not going to happen.

Broken News: Ottawa Transit Strike, Day 27...

Suddenly, the city brain trust had a brilliant idea: reduce rush-hour traffic snarls downtown by quickly changing temporary street parking rules (again), and towing away vehicles that had arrived to park earlier.

No word yet how those lucky commuters are going to get home. Or to the auto impound...

Update

CBC evening news says the powers-that-be, after much negative publicity, apparently saw the error of their ways late in the day. Refunds for $80 parking tickets, towing charges and impoundment fees all 'round! We're still wondering whether those lucky commuters will be reimbursed for their time, or their trek to the auto impound. But we're just picky that way...

6-month Review: Bring on the Cats and the Housing Talk

In amongst all my other important blogging activity, I've taken some time to look at our Google Analytics reports.

First up is the line graph of hits. Our top day in the past six months was November 26th. That is the day I.O. posted a pleasant photo of an Italian athlete. However, it's more likely that the spike came from the previous day's Tanktop Tuesday featuring our good friend Duncan the DogCat.

Obvious lesson: We need more cats on the blog.

Next I looked at what search phrases brought people to us. First is our name. Second? It's Ottawa Housing Market. People come here for this even though we are only on Google's first page of hits if the user has set their preferences to 100 hits per page.

Bring it on, Irregulars.