Burlesque, yes. Tawdry, no.

Probably more than he can chew: Coyote's photo (yes, he has opposable paw digits) of Spartacat was taken, appropriately enough, at a Phoenix Coyotes game

Photo: Coyote

Not just another tawdry burlesque...

What a richness of embarrassments! This is a day when I could be blogging about how frigid Ottawatamies finally experienced the Big O - with Beaver Tails instead of ESI BeaverBalls™, no less - or the utterly, indefensibly brain dead and lame reasoning (Paragraph seven is the howler) offered up by the Ottawa Transit Committee, for disallowing some gently quizzical atheist bus ads. Which, whether you personally hold with atheists' views or not, they should be reasonably be able to do. Even the Christians say so. And which, if you take an already insane argument to its even more illogically insane extreme, could be grounds for charging every proselytizer for every religion on the planet, past and present, with hate speech crimes. But I, unusually, digress.

We Irregulars know where our valuable core constituency lies. And so I just want to make very, very clear that this is not a kitty blog post. Oh, no. It isn't. Uh uh.

This is partly because the Independent Observer has quite rightly voiced severe doubts about that particular slippery slope to hell, and partly because we, like our current PM, hold exceedingly high - in fact inviolate - principles. We would never stoop to some kind of sleazy compromise, in a cheap and transparent attempt to jack up our public approval numbers. Oh, wait...

Still! Nope, this photograph is not of a kitty. No way. It is in fact a museum-quality image of an exceedingly rare, devastatingly cutesy, and therefore totally hit-grabbing and web-sticky specimen of a Bhutanese Pander Bear. There. I said it. I'm not ashamed.

Thank you for dropping by to see it. Come back often. Bring all your friends. Before I eat it.

Burlesque Beauty

Today, I am "making a tawdry burlesque of the blog" by writing about my cat, Magi.


Magi is bored and she is whiny. It seems that she wants:

• a play date with Clint Eastwood,
• (sex) toys like Bazel's,
• the kind of infamy that Duncan exudes,
• a quilt and mutual licking with Freya,
• a sugar daddy to cuddle with like Ti-gris has, and
• to be immortalized in one of Coyote's recipes poems.
  

Feline Embrace

Feeling pushed?

Blue Cats

Ottawa cats sleeping on the coldest night of the year

Harmony in cat world

The Middle East is a mess. The bus strike continues with no end in sight. The economy continues to suck. But, it's all love and peace here in cat world. If they can work it out, anyone can!

Ti-gris is bad....

Ti-gris is out of control. OK, all you cat people out there --- how do you "train" a kitten? Also, how do I help my calm, older cat deal with the trauma of having an insane younger brother. Help!

Introducing.....Ti-Gris!

Dischevelled Man (DM) and I adopted Ti-Gris the other day. We've had some bad Humane Society experiences lately where kitties were snatched right from under us, so this time we were ready. The moment Ti-Gris was brought in and put in the cage, we were all over him. He purred non-stop and kissed me. He also had a glowing write-up from his foster parents who said they "almost" adopted him themselves. Other Humane Society clients gathered around us and looked at us with envy. We had the best cat in the building! DM pointed out that we already have a gray cat. "We already discussed that," I whispered loudly. Sometimes DM doesn't remember our previous discussions.
We are doing what the Humane Society recommended and keeping Ti-Gris separate from his big brother. His big brother is not impressed....more like depressed. Ti-Gris is insane. He attacked my bare face with open claws. But he is adorable and sweet and has the motor going constantly. DM has suggested calling the Humane Society to see if we could exchange him for an older, calmer cat. This is not going to happen.

Top Five Alternatives to the Coalition

Now that Prime Minister Harper has put the F-U in fiscal update and pushed Canada into a constitutional crisis, I propose some governance alternatives to consider:

Barack Obama

As Homer Simpson once said, Canada can be considered America Jr. So, why not have President-Elect Obama preside over things in the Great White North until his inauguration in January? It’s a win-win situation. He gets some governance experience before taking on the big job, and we get a good looking, well-educated hipster-guy as PM that everyone will like. We haven’t had that since Trudeau came on the scene in 1968. And our economy is only half as bad as Uncle Sam’s. Throw in Canadians’ low expectations when it comes to deliverables from politicians, and he may like it so much that he’ll want to stick around.

Michaëlle Jean

In the old days, her job was the executive branch of rule. Let’s give it back to her. And while we're at it, return the Stanley Cup and change the annual hockey classic to its original shinny days on the back rink of Rideau Hall. Go, Silver Seven, go!

Cats of Parliament Hill

Given Stéphane “I’m not dead yet” Dion seems to have as many lives as a feline, maybe we should take our cues and move the legislature to those equally feral denizens of Parliament Hill. A purr-fect time for electoral paws, I say. They cost less to maintain than a typical Cabinet Minister’s office budget and also do double-duty for rodent control [insert Senate joke here].

Post Mistress General

The old saw goes that whoever runs the post office truly rules the empire. For Canada, this comes in the form of Moya Greene, a native of Newfoundland, and head postie of our national postal service. Anyone who can get the mail through postal worker picket lines could probably move a few pieces of legislation with equal adeptness.

The CBC's At Issue Panel

They seem to know everything, that panel. They could make a pretty good governance coalition themselves. And that Chantal Hébert… isn’t she just the coolest the way she shuts down Andrew Coyne’s right-wing jingoistic rants with just a raise of an eyebrow? Put a mustache on her and you’d have the makings of a great porn star. And maybe Allan Gregg could use the extra salary to buy himself some new threads, preferably something that doesn’t make him look like a record company A&R man. Peter Mansbridge would become the Speaker of the House and Rex Murphy could become Gentleman Usher of the Black Rod --- if you know what I mean.

Tank Top Tuesday - Guest Spot

Duncan the Cat in his sexy tank top.

First Feline of Florence

Wise and whiskered
In his element
Oblivious to mantras, miscues and meltdowns
Far from the hustings
Light orange gelato stripes listen
For the sounds of cork
Rubbing against glass
Footsteps on slow-travelled stone
And whispers in the piazza
So blissfully unaware
Of John Baird's hair

Kitty Blogging on Hiatus

I thought Duncan wanted to stay. But while I was watching TV upstairs, Zoom snuck in, softly called out to him and he zipped downstairs and into her arms. I discovered them outside waiting for a taxi only because I went to get myself a ginger beer and checked the door after I found a parcel on the staircase.

I tried to be graceful about it... if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you, blah, blah, blah...

2D has made his choice. At least Zoom left me someone else to keep me company at night. 2P (Pirate Pal) was in the parcel along with a bottle of wine. He's not the same, but he won't need pedicures and regular grooming.

I'm going to drink that wine now, I think. And maybe call in sick for tomorrow.

No Time for Blogging

2D insisted we lie on the couch and watch TV tonight and now he says it's bedtime. So, no update today.

I mentioned that Zoom is feeling a tad insecure about him. I get the impression he doesn't feel bad about that.

2D is sociable

Duncan Dogcat has been making new friends here. Poor Woodsy discovered that 2D is averse to orange fur on other people. Our little nymph had to use a certain herbal product to entice 2D to stay in her lap long enough for this photo.

Aggie and our canine friend also came by this evening. As you would expect, they all got along fine. After all this trash talk between Duncan and Coyote (not to mention their supporters), when it comes down to it, they treat each other with the professional courtesy you'd expect from a pair of predators who like having their chins tickled.

2D likes to demonstrate his pouncing ability on blue string. Particularly if trailed on the floor as I walk around the house. String dangled in the air? He would rather just sleep.

Metablogging the kitty-blogging

While we are over here alienating all of Zoom's lovely knitters and cat people with all our ESI self-referential wanking, I would like to direct folks to some other local cat blogging that warrants attention.

First and foremost: Bob. Once again, Bob has written an absolutely delightful piece, this time reflecting on cats and emotions. I just love the image of sweetiepie Bob "disciplining" his out-of-control cats.

Second, check out the fabulous Jo Stockton. Her cat is guest blogger, folks. The cat speaks.