We're not the only ones creeping out bloggers!

Yesterday, local blogger DaniGirl of Postcards from the Mothership reported that she was freaked out and felt violated that her blog along with 7 others had become the subject of a master's thesis, “Works in Progress: An Analysis of Canadian Mommyblogs by Heather Lyn Fleming.

According to DaniGirl, Fleming made "egregious assumptions" about the bloggers and was unethical in not contacting them or getting their permission before writing or publishing.

I'm don't know what the "egregious assumptions" were. They might be mentioned somewhere in DaniGirl's original posting on the thesis, but I don't want to take the time to go through the 97 comments on the off chance they are mentioned. I think I'll just assume that I wouldn't find them to be any worse than assumptions I've made when reading other people's blogs.

In Today's followup, DaniGirl seems to be less freaked out and has backed away from her original position, but not all the way:

I can’t say that I regret my original post, because I wrote it in good faith and I think it resulted in a truly fascinating conversation. I haven’t changed my mind about thinking that Theryn crossed a line in her assumptions, and that she took my work out of context.

Of course, Fleming is also a blogger. She seems to have taken the criticism in stride:

#creepythesis

February 22, 2010

I woke up yesterday morning to find my thesis had its own twitter hashtag.

I’m not going to launch into a defense. Readers are free to think my writing is crap, skim it, interpret it differently than I intended, etc. That’s the nature of writing. I just wanted to acknowledge that I’ve seen the reaction.

On the bright side (!), more people probably read my thesis yesterday than read most people’s theses ever

For more commentary:

• Dani is feeling indignant at Coffee with Julia
• #creepythesis on Twitter
• "Me, " the Subject of a Master's Thesis...?
• Creepy Thesis? by a subject who didn't find it all that creepy
  

It's a Hoot

A few years ago, when Hooters first came to Ottawa, I thought it would be entertaining to see what all the fuss was about.

A male companion and I sat down at a table, and after a long wait a cute blond waitress skipped over to us. I admired her fit body clad in tiny tight sports shorts (the kind I had worn when I was sixteen) and her tight little wife beater t-shirt with the trademark protruding owl eyes design. She placed both elbows on the table, leaned over and cleverly aimed her tits at us.

"And what can I bring you folks today," she giggled smacking her gum.

She took our order and as she wiggled off I looked at my companion curious about his reaction.

"It's all just an act you know. She's a university student trying to earn an honest living," he stuttered as I noticed the deep blush on his face.

Familiar Bedfellows

With all this talk of strange bedfellows this past week, I've been reminded of the problem some of you have with not knowing what to call the person that you live with and to whom you are not legally married.

I'm told "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" aren't suitable because they sound juvenile and don't reveal there is a shared domicile and commitment to the future.

"Partner" is no good because people assume you are gay if you are straight or they think you are talking about someone who you're in business with.

By turning to the web, I have found a plethora of words and phrases you can use instead of "spouse equivalent", "significant other" or "person of the opposite sex sharing living quarters". First, here are some I found checking various reference sources:

• My conjugal relation [As opposed to your brother who would be your fraternal relation]
• My conjugate [Mathematical: the person who rationalizes the denominators of your fractions, is the root of your polynomial function, and who can be joined to you by a 1-parameter family of geodesics.]
• Mon conjoint; ma conjointe [Means legally married in French, but if spoken with a heavy Franco-Ontarien accent won't give anyone the impression there is anything legal about what goes on between the two of you.]
• The person who is developing an equitable right to my property [Legal #1, problematic because in addition to not being romantic, I'm told it could also apply to someone who is doing extensive renovations on your property with an unwritten promise of having an ownership share.]
• The person through whom I am eligible for dental benefits and an extended-health plan [This is at least unambiguous if you're over 25; on the other hand, you should be calling someone like this "my treasure of incalculable worth".]
• My intimate companion [Cloying unless you're a pair of entirely platonic friends from the early 1800s].
• The person with whom I am in a relationship of some permanence [Legal #2 - see Ontario's Family Law Act, Part 3].

Of course, some of our favourite bloggers (or ex-bloggers) have terms they like to use. Harmony used to use the saucy "my lovah", Hella Stella talks about her "BH", and J spells it out and calls A her "better half" from time to time.

Unfortunately for my research, most local bloggers seem to be either living without conjugal partners or purport to be actually married. Nevertheless, it was by going through blogs of people who are living with another person without the sanction of church or state that I found the word that I think should be claimed by the unwed.

I had been calling up archive pages and doing a ctrl-F for "my " to find possible alternative terms, but on the blog of J's better half A, The Adventures of your Mom, I found a term I think is perfect just by reading the second most recent posting:

So homeslice Paul and I went to pickup (sic) his new 49 burger capacity BBQ. Of course no mojor (sic) purchase goes without issue at Crappy Tire[.] (sic)

I had been reading so many blogs at this point that I forgot whose blog I was reading. The title made me think I was reading a mommy blog and I figured Paul must be the mommy's conjugal relation. "Homeslice," I thought, "what a great word!"

Imagine my disappointment when I realized that this was not some suburban mom talking about her bbq loving man, but instead tough guy A referring to his completely het pal. Then I went to the Urban Dictionary and confirmed that "homeslice" is a synonym for "homeboy" or "homie" that is favoured by caucasian youths.

But my disappointment doesn't have to last and you can help. I've submitted a new definition of "homeslice" to the Urban Dictionary. If the editors accept it, it will show up soon. Probably on page 4. If enough of you click the thumbs-up, it will move up, maybe even to #1.

Scammed and looking for advice...

I was scammed last spring by an Ottawa U professor who reminded me of Mr. Bean. Here is the sequence of events:

1) I met Mr. Bean at a conference in a European country. Mr. Bean confesses that he has no cash, and can't even buy himself a cup of coffee because he can't get the bank people to understand him and for some reason he can't get a cash advance on his credit card.
2) Aggie, realizing that he is from Ottawa, the city in which she lives, hands over 50 Euros to Mr. Bean, along with her business card, saying, "Here. Borrow this. I know where you work."
3) Mr. Bean is grateful, and says how embarassing it is, but takes the money.
4) Aggie does not hear from Mr. Bean.
5) Aggie decides to email Mr. Bean in late August, reminding him that she is there.
6) He responds with photos of the conference, good wishes to Aggie, and says he is heading off to Paris for another conference.
7) Aggie responds with, "Have fun in Paris. Don't forget to bring your Euros this time!"
8) Mr. Bean doesn't respond.
9) Aggie's work colleague who also met Mr. Bean at the conference runs into him by chance on the Ottawa U. campus and says, "Hi. Remember me. Aggie's friend. Remember Aggie, the one who so generously bailed you out." He mutters, "Oh, yes." then rushes off.
10) Aggie's colleague recounts this chance meeting to Aggie. Aggie is now pissed off at this scamming bastard and sends another email, this time saying. "Ok, Mr. Bean. Write me the check for $80 and send it to this address"...
11) Mr. Bean responds curtly with a "Yes". No thank you. No Sorry. Nothing.
12) That exchange was a week and a half ago. No cheque has arrived.

So, blog readers. I am asking for your advice here. What are the next steps? What should Aggie do?