Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2007-11-09 Part 2 - Megan's Terms of Reference

Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: Fourth Dwarf, Coyote, Agatha, Conch Shell, the Chair
Absent with notice: Independent Observer

Minutes by: 4D

After working out the contest details, the ESIs turn to a discussion of the Terms of Reference for the Consutancy Contract with an Ottawa Super-Blogger

Chair: I'd like to see bench-marking.

4th Dwarf: A confidentiality clause?

Aggie: She can help us explore the sex angle.

4D: But no ass piracy.

Conch Shell: We don't self-analyze. She should know that.

4D: Maybe we need help with that.

CS: If we think an idea is stupid, we will only attack the idea and not the person.

Chair: Maybe we'll attack the person a little.

Aggie: We will use only "I" statements.

Coyote: For example?

Aggie: "I feel that's fucking stupid."

Coyote: Should we redraw the org chart?

CS: What org chart?

Somebody: exactly.

4D: Does she think there are there other professionals we should consult? Graphics? Publicity?

Aggie: Raw food chefs...

Coyote: Molecular food chefs...

Plates arrive and the meeting is adjourned.

A night at the opera

In our mutual quest to understand and appreciate all things Italian, Audrey and I joined friends this week at Opera Lyra's inspiring performance of Don Giovanni.

Here is Audrey's list of the top five reasons to go to the opera:

1. Beautiful, well-dressed men in the audience.
2. Beautiful, well-dressed men onstage.
3. The performers sing in Italian but it is almost impossible to distinguish the words. Therefore, practise your French instead by reading the English surtitles and then the French ones.
4. Make notes for future play "Springsteen: the Rock Opera".
5. Be one of the local glitterati for an evening!

As you were...

Phew. Yesterday's drop in lululemon® stock prices appears to have been a mere knee-jerk market blip. The integrity of our (studiously mimeographed) Mumumelon® business case is intact. Apparently it takes more than being dead wrong about your product having some kinda wearable nutriceutical mojo. Or rather, not.

But lululemon®'s chairman apologized right away. They just trusted suppliers that told them the fabric was impregnated with seaweed: "Hey. It felt different! How were we, sharp business people that we are, to know the stuff was suspect? Now can we go back to making money, here?"

That's the spirit. Pure damage-control genius! As chief spokescoyote for Mumumelon®, I apologize for panicking. It was our news supplier's fault. How were we to know they'd update their story when the market changed direction again, two lousy hours later? Back to sucking on the hems of your favourite 'melon mu'umu'us, everybody... And to the naysayers? I say let the market decide. 'Cuz it's obviously so smart-like...

Image: corg.org

Interviews for Profiles

Dear fellow ESIs:

As you know, I have been completely blocked on the profiles. I had that one great moment of inspiration when I wrote the Chair's profile many moons ago. And, I have regretted even writing the thing, because the rest of you now resent me for not writing about you.

To remedy this problem, I would like each of you to fill out the following survey which will serve as a starting place for each profile. Megan suggested that it would be more fair to begin with the Irregular who blogs the most frequently. So, perhaps Dwarfie could complete the survey first. Thank you for your cooperation.

Aggie
xx

Survey

What do you consider to be your best quality?
What do you like to do when you are not blogging?
Tell me about your pets.
Tell me about your pet peeves.
If you were a pillow, what kind would you be?
If someone were to make you a pillow, what would you like it to look like?

Mumumelon® biz model: down the ol' flusher?

Aggie reports this just in from the CBC: Lululemon stocks appear to be taking a bath after an investor's private lab analysis discovered that a new line of clothing purported to contain beneficial health-inducing seaweed additives, turns out to be, ummm, maybe, less than likely to carry this enhancement. Could the venture be (fish?)tanking on the market?

Loyal ESI readers will recall that our nascent Mumumelon® venture was closely modelled on lululemon® -- in a matter/antimatter kinda way, since we're using many of the same marketing ideas to corner the exercise-wear market for the exact opposite somatotype. (That'd be the 'endomorphs', or to us new-age, workout-challenged lay-types, the potentially-lucrative Pillsbury Doughboy® contingent...)

To head off any financially-ruinous speculation among our main investors, I, as Mumumelon's® chief spokescoyote, just want to take this opportunity to assure the market (Huh? Whaddaya whispering at me? Oh! Them...) ...and our valued family of customers... that every mu'umu'u we produce is absolutely guaranteed to be factory-drenched in lime Jell-O®. If you start feeling a blood sugar emergency, say, after climbing the stairs or something, you can just suck on the hem until your head stops spinning and your glucose levels return to normal...

After all, the well-being of our bank accou... uh, customers, is paramount. Thank you.

Image: Toiletology.com