Fairy tale town

Ottawa, though populated by many types that pride themselves on real-world pragmatism, is a fairy-tale town. If ya don't buy into this at first glance, go ahead, just scope out the gargoyles on that neo-Gothic pile up on the Hill. Or read one of local author Charles de Lint's books -- he's made a nice career of populating an alternate Ottawa with modern magic.

But there are plenty of other modern fairy tales here, and the fabulists to believe 'em .

The current prime minister, f'rinstance, thinks he's in control of everything... freak. He ain't a boss, so much as a strategy board-game player run amuck.

Certain of that crew of second-stringers sitting in that neo-Gothic pile up on the Hill also think they run the country. Huh. Tell the country that.

Or how 'bout this one? The assorted spin doctors that hang from the tonier walls across town think they actually fool the public. And I know from spin-doctoring. I chase my tail every morning. If I ever catch it, it's self-prescribed Band-Aids and Robaxacet all 'round... I digress.

These fairy tales are, of course, only the most obvious examples. At least to anyone possessed of half an Oreo's worth of creamy whipped filling in their bonces. StatsCan says there are 1,130,761 stories in the naked Census Metropolitan Area. I know a few. But if I told ya, I'd hafta feed you to the grotty trolls that have taken up under the Corktown Bridge. And they'd really appreciate a change from goat roti...

Minutes from Emergency Meeting: October 18

(My apologies for the delay posting the minutes. Some technical problems here).
In attendance: Coyote, 4th Dwarf, Aggie, the Independent Observer.
Purpose of meeting: To discuss AndrewZRX's email, to discuss 4th Dwarf's 7 things Meme Posting.

The meeting began badly. The IO called it for 8 p.m. at the Usual Spot. No one was there at 8 p.m. except 4th Dwarf, who is very punctual. He left, and then returned, pissed off, at 9 p.m. when the meeting really started.

In his email, AndrewZRX asked about our readership. The IO responded, 'shut-ins and prisoners'. Aggie added, 'Well, I think we have cornered the Indy women market'. 'Cornered?' 4th Dwarf asked. 'Seduced some and repelled others,' Coyote clarified. We also agreed that Zoom is a loyal reader, and we have a bunch of New Brunswick anarchists reading us as well. And, of course, we read our blog. That would be our readership, AndrewZRX. Hope that helps, hon!

Second matter of business: 4th Dwarf's responding to the 7 Things Meme without consulting the group. 4th Dwarf apologized to group, but added that if had waited for the rest of us lazy asses, it never would have happened. He added that perhaps Aggie was just uncomfortable because she was singled out for her botched ESI profiling project in which she set out to profile each ESI, but only completed ONE. Aggie fumbled, and then suggested that we need the cogent Megan to come in and bring some healing to the group. Coyote and 4th Dwarf agreed. The IO had reservations: 'Wouldn't that be like admitting weakness? Like bringing in Merrill Lynch?' Finally, all came around and agreed that we need Megan. We briefly discussed the consulting fee, then moved on to other redacted topics.

Finally, we discussed the ESI contests. Coyote said all the contests were confusing. The IO described them as a 'wilderness of mirrors'. 4th Dwarf went on a long spiel about how we need to be more open, etc.... blah blah.. Aggie suggested he use 'I-statements' instead of 'you-statements'.

Redacted redacted. Blah blah blah. Then, we all went home.

Somerset House

Somerset House, to some, is one of Ottawa's architectural and historical grand dames, even if it's appeared to fall on hard times recently. Okay, so it's on Bank, not Elgin. But we have a proprietary interest in downtown Ottawa, even if the Duke of Somerset was a rather nasty tavern before the building was sold.

The whole edifice lay vacant for a couple of years, endlessly 'awaiting renovation'. But lately things were looking up. Crews were actually renovating, and it looked like upscale retail/restaurant space was finally going to re-anchor Bank and Somerset across from the new Hartman's Independent Grocer, after a lot of arid years. At least until midway through this afternoon, when one of the walls caved in on a crew member in a skid loader in the basement. Hard news details are here, -- they got the guy out okay. These are images of emergency efforts to check the stability of the remaining building. At the time of this post, the other three walls still looked solid, but you can never tell with these things... heritage lovers, keep your fingers crossed.

CBC: Worker rescued after partial building collapse in downtown Ottawa
Citizen: Cage saves worker after building crashes down
Zoom: Swap Box survives building collapse
CBC: Downtown roads shut for 1 week near partial building collapse
Youtube: Jimmy George
CBC: Collapsing Ottawa building's owner given 55 past safety orders
Citizen: City still can't say when roads near collapsed building will open
Zoom: Swap Box saved in daring daylight rescue
Citizen: Now no frickin' idea when roads will re-open: officials
CBC: Building still collapsed; road still closed; Santy Claws Parade rerouted, for cripe's sake...

Questions from Our Guest Blogger AndrewZRX

The winner of Zoom's auction, AndrewZRX, wrote me several days ago:

Greetings Mr. Dwarf,
It seems I have foolishly won an eBay auction for an ESI guest blog. I am new to the ESI experience and therefore require some guidance. What have I actually won? (Do I even want to know?)

Just to fill you in on some boring details about me:
[personal details about Andrew redacted in case he doesn't want to share them with all of you] I myself don't have a blog though I do write some.

Can you give me an idea of the kinds of readers who frequent the ESI blog, and what, if anything, I should be doing regarding this most unfortunate turn of events.

Thanks
Andrew

Yesterday, I replied:

Hello Andrew,

Please, my father is Mr. Dwarf, call me Fourth.

Sorry about the delay in replying. I often forget to check my email.

You've won the opportunity to do a posting on our blog. http://elginstreet.blogspot.com/

We consider ourselves to be a metablog - a blog about blogs, but we also have postings on anything that tickles our fancy.

I'm not sure about what kind of readers we have. Perhaps I can give you a better answer tomorrow.

- 4D

If any of you have thoughts on what I might tell young Andrew, please leave a comment to this posting. The matter was also discussed at an Emergency Meeting largely held to address this topic and I believe Aggie will be posting the minutes any moment now. [After the beating I took for answering the meme all by myself, I don't dare answer Andrew's question on my own initiative.]

Google Poem: Okay, maybe I am

I'm not harassing you, I'm responding to your repeated continuations of this conversation.

I'm not harassing you, I just asked you to give me a smile.

I'm not harassing you, I'm spamming you!

I'm not harassing you, I'm doing my job.

I'm not harassing you. I actually want to love you.

I'm not harassing you I was just interested.

I'm not harassing you, I am asking legitimate questions.

I'm not harassing you, I'm just talking to you.

I'm not harassing you. I'm tormenting you.

I'm not harassing you. I'm just telling you.

I’m not harassing you. I’m making an aside on the typical use of Romans 9.

I’m not harassing you. I’m saying to you, that we pay you almost $60000 a year.

I'm not harassing you. I simply asked you to elaborate on a claim you made in your post that is relevant to the topic.

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