Oar not...

It's unclear at the moment, what with different sources touting vastly different he-said-she-said versions of the story on Sunday. But it seems at least likely that the reason the incumbent minority PM is so certain that those costly new stealth fighter planes he's set his heart on would cost ludicrously less, by at least half, than the figures that every other financial and military authority other than the PM and the Department of National Defence has come up with, is because they're ummm, gliders.

But us coyotes can see the, ummm, logic. Yeah. That's it. Logic. Because this solves everything. All the haters who've pointed out that our
economically-trained PM has never actually practiced economics - nor, apparently, economy of any kind - look like losers this time.

Because ordering motorless planes saves a veritable billions-and-billions bundle on up-front costs and downline engine maintenance. And it'll put the Canadian military at the tippy-top forefront of those petroleum conservation and low carbon footprint thingies. Just what the country needs to counterbalance that plethora of negative tar sands environmental impacts, I'm sure. Not to mention how much stealthier they'll be than everybody else's stealth fighters, if they don't make any noise.

How to make 'em go, then? Look no further than Canada's proud and ancient voyageur tradition, people! Just borrow the Olympic rowing team's supply of high-tech carbon fibre oars (to match the high-tech carbon fibre wings, y'unnerstand...) and paddle them suckers! Using penitentiary prisoners as galley slaves would, without a Tory doubt, save huge bucks on the big prison-building schema, too!

All done within budget, just like those prudent, conservative fiscal managers said they would! Problem solved! Mission accomplished! Where have I heard that line before? Never mind! How could I have ever doubted?

RNDP: The President's Choice for Valentines Day

I thought I'd finished with the Revolutionary New Dating Paradigm, but no, here's something new and revolutionary.

The President says:

Surprise your sweetie with an extra-charming Valentine’s Day - at home! Our PC® Dine-In Tonight™ soups, pastas, entrees and desserts are quick and easy, so you can spend less time prepping and more time with your dearest!

We would love to hear from any men who followed this advice. Please give us details of how well it went over.

Coping with The Economic Downturn, Part 2

More from Audrey's groundbreaking survey...

Opinions of Those Who Have Not Changed Their Spending

Not all of my friends have changed their spending as a result of the economic downturn. Several wrote to tell me that the downturn has, thus far, had little or no effect on their purchases.

One friend said, “Actually, I’ve changed little my spending habits since the downturn was evident (for supporting documentation, please see my financial statements...which seen in order look remarkably like the drop of a rollercoaster at Wonderland). Most days I bring food for breakfast and/or lunch, which has been a staple for me for years. I regularly walk to/from work, and to destinations within a few miles of home. And my entertainment dollars are being spent as frugally as ever. I admittedly splurge on food and drink (splurge being a relative term - I don't cheat myself on items I know my friends will enjoy). The only real change I see is a result of reading media stories about how to find savings in daily purchases. If I see something that I'd like to try, then I'll adjust my approach that way. Otherwise, I try not to run up unnecessary or frivolous debt. Basically, I've had no real reason to have to change my spending habits.”

Another friend told me that he has kept his expenses pared to the bone for many years. He gave some useful insight into ways to live within one’s means, writing: “Personal economic change can be a surprisingly long process. For the first two or three years, every time you think you've cut expenses so far that you can't possibly take out any more - wait a couple of months to allow your perceptions to adapt, then recheck your budget for fat. Each time, strangely, you'll always find more to cut, while still leaving "enough". It's like peeling an onion - most of us have many, many layers of "luxury-we've-habitually-come-to-regard-as-necessity" that we can safely - and sometimes advantageously - remove before we reach the essential core of things.”

Image: Squawkfox.com Where frugal living is sexy, delicious and fun

Part III will look at what you shouldn't scrimp on.