Coping: The Google Poem

* I'm coping by eating toffee.

* I'm coping by keeping my well-paid job in a stable, recession-proof industry.

* I’m coping by fantasizing about moving to a commune in Oregon to bake bread, make goat cheese, and raise honeybees. Of course I know that would be stressful too because honeybees are dieing off...

* As you can see, I'm coping by turning my grief into anger.

*So far, I’m coping by a lot of eye rolling* I'm coping by talking to some friends, and posting quite a long story here, and maybe I'll try to find some St. John's wort.

* I’m coping by doing silly things like this.

* I’m coping by working out regularly for the last six months with the Orinda Aquatics Masters program.

* I'm coping by cleaning off the car while my partner showered. I'm coping by insisting on shoveling yesterday. I'm coping by eating. I'm coping by calling every single one of the temp agencies and getting back on their "available" list.

* I’m coping by reinforcing and learning as I go.

* I'm coping by cracking open some new football cards.

* I’m coping by using even more extraneous swearing on the internet than before, because I can’t even say “that sucks” around the kids.

* I’m coping by watching Quarterlife on the net at Dexter on DVD.

* I'm coping by making my way through "Dexter" Season 1 from Netflix (they'd better release Season 2 soon!) and going through my "Buffy" DVD collection for the first time.

* I'm coping by first doing loosening things, like hip rotations and slow side left-right, right-left punches.

* I'm coping by emailing a girl I knew for two days who lives on the other side of the continent.

* I'm coping by cleaning the house and reading madness and civilization.

* I've been grounded from the internet, tv, my nintendo ds, magazines, take out food, my cell phone, and radio for 2 weeks at my moms cause i was really rude to her when we got in a fight earlier, but I'm coping by reading Harry Potter.

* I'm coping by still living in a community house that makes demands of you frequently (but all in all in a good way), and working very hard, and trying to get organized.

* I'm coping by not coping.

* I'm coping by not thinking about it

* I'm coping by not even thinking about it.

* All of my classes require entirely too much reading, but I'm coping by simply not doing all of it.

* ...meanwhile, things are a bit uncomfortable but I'm coping by just digging in and concentrating hard on my job.

* I'm coping by putting it into a story

* anyway, i’m coping by “working from home” today, aka getting paid to sit around and surf the web.

* I'm coping by typing fast.

A Less Lofty View on Coping with the Economic Downturn

Much as I admire those of you employed who are out there selflessly spending your money to stimulate the economy during this downturn, remember, your situation could change. So keep in mind what's best for you in both the near and the long term.

1. Borrow all the money they will let you. Then, get a no-fee credit that is offering a 1% interest rate on balance transfers a transfer all your debt to the 1% account. Get another card that you can transfer this balance to when the special ends. Repeat the cycle until the mess is all over.
2. Spend on stuff that's cheap in a downturn:
1. Housing,
2. Renovation contractors (remember when those guys wouldn't even return your calls? Ha!),
3. Are you a collector? A musician? Rare treasures will be showing up in the pawn and consignment shops,
   
4. Original art (this is a good time to get your portrait done in oils or pop bottle tops);
5. Promoting yourself, and
   
6. Fancy pets.
   
3. Since you're working really hard so they don't fire you, hire people to do all the things you don't have time for like cooking your meals, mending and washing your clothes, cleaning your house (or houses) and walking your pets.
4. Actually lost your job? Stay in Canada and
   
1. Have a baby,
   
2. Go to school,
3. Write a book,
4. Plant trees, and
   
5. Take your blog pro.

A fifth of Friday the 13th...

Another Friday the Thirteenth. I'm sure we had one of those just last month. Ho, hum. We must've gotten all the bad stuff out of the way, already then, right? What could possibly go wrong this time? You have to ask? How about another Top Five list?

1) Strangely, although our PM keeps telling us the Canadian economy is in great shape and we're all gonna be fine, and he's, like, never lied to us (repeatedly) before... markets are still tanking. I can't help but notice that he takes a certain approach to everything that might dispute his worldview, from what's actually happening in the economy (i.e. anything from the parliamentary budget officer he appointed), to Vancouver's InSite safe-injection facility, to, well, just good-quality research in general. Because deeply-held convictions, however unwarranted by facts, are necessarily the only Right things. I am shocked. Shocked! Never saw that one coming at all...

2) Now that mommy's defeat at the American vice presidential polls is a soi-disant distant political memory, Bristol Palin is no longer about to bear her child within the sanctity of holy matrimony. Or a shotgun marriage. Whichever is more, y'know, born-again. I am shocked. Shocked! Never saw that one coming at all...

3) John Baird's fattening fingers - and possibly his hair - are smearing oily DNA traces all over the aftermath of Ottawa's record transit strike. In the absence of any actual, like, unbiased information on the dangers of scheduling, he may wish to consider a prudent wait before plastering on pandering ideological band aids. Oh, wait... See 1), above! I am shocked. Shocked! Never saw that one coming at all...

4) The Ottawa Sun, in the tradition of intrepid journalism, has used promo material from a 5-year-old, just-released, low-budget Canadian Bollywood movie clone - starring current Liberal member of parliament Ruby Dhalla - as an excuse to run a lame-o "Hilltop Hotties" photo gallery online, while Dr. Dhalla tries to wish the whole thing away on grounds of Photoshop. I am shocked. Shocked! Never saw that one coming at all...

5) Heh.

I am shocked. Shocked! Never saw that one coming at all...

Good things about the Economic Downturn

1. I feel less poor than usual.
2. I feel better about myself and my fiscally irresponsible past.
3. I feel slightly more grateful than usual for being employed.
4. My recycled clothing and home furnishings are now chic.
5.
6. Communism might make a comeback. Viva la revolution!!
7. When I shop now, I think of myself as stimulating the economy and that stimulates me.
8. It's fun to nest at home and make crafts.
9. Depression glass may become all the rage again.
10. We'll be able to say we lived through the ED and that it made us stronger as people.

Coping with The Economic Downturn, Part 5

Audrey’s List of 10 Items that You Shouldn’t Scrimp On:

1. A good haircut.
2. Books. If you are buying fewer books due to the economic downturn, be sure to borrow books from friends and family or the Ottawa Public Library. Don’t stop reading!
3. Vacations. Reduce your travel budget and search online for bargains.
4. Gifts. Give more modest gifts but don’t stop giving gifts.
5. Your future. Keep making contributions to your pension plan.
6. A good work wardrobe.
7. If you are drinking less, drink the better quality wine and beer.
8. Tips. Remember those who are less fortunate: tip more generously.
9. Lipstick and perfume!
10. Empathy. If your friends are fearful of losing their jobs, be sensitive. If they lose their jobs, assist them in any way you can.