Friday

Not just another tawdry burlesque...

What a richness of embarrassments! This is a day when I could be blogging about how frigid Ottawatamies finally experienced the Big O - with Beaver Tails instead of ESI BeaverBalls™, no less - or the utterly, indefensibly brain dead and lame reasoning (Paragraph seven is the howler) offered up by the Ottawa Transit Committee, for disallowing some gently quizzical atheist bus ads. Which, whether you personally hold with atheists' views or not, they should be reasonably be able to do. Even the Christians say so. And which, if you take an already insane argument to its even more illogically insane extreme, could be grounds for charging every proselytizer for every religion on the planet, past and present, with hate speech crimes. But I, unusually, digress.

We Irregulars know where our valuable core constituency lies. And so I just want to make very, very clear that this is not a kitty blog post. Oh, no. It isn't. Uh uh.

This is partly because the Independent Observer has quite rightly voiced severe doubts about that particular slippery slope to hell, and partly because we, like our current PM, hold exceedingly high - in fact inviolate - principles. We would never stoop to some kind of sleazy compromise, in a cheap and transparent attempt to jack up our public approval numbers. Oh, wait...

Still! Nope, this photograph is not of a kitty. No way. It is in fact a museum-quality image of an exceedingly rare, devastatingly cutesy, and therefore totally hit-grabbing and web-sticky specimen of a Bhutanese Pander Bear. There. I said it. I'm not ashamed.

Thank you for dropping by to see it. Come back often. Bring all your friends. Before I eat it.

Tuesday

Change we really could believe in


Took a Tuesday evening stroll to Parliament Hill to see how preparations for arrival of the world's Political Elvis are shaping up. I snapped a few photos and was later amazed to discover the tiny speck hovering next to the Peace Tower was a strange-shaped craft!

Yes, Ottawa is being buzzed by UFOs... well, at least one flying saucer, on the eve of Barack Obama's visit. What can it mean? Are the aliens curious about this charismatic new leader, getting ready to follow Obama's every move during his first international whistlestop?

Or are they taking pity on Canadians, deciding to spare us grave embarrassment during Obama's stay by pre-emptively whisking our less-than-interstellar political leaders back to their home planets?



















Burlesque Beauty

Today, I am "making a tawdry burlesque of the blog" by writing about my cat, Magi.


Magi is bored and she is whiny. It seems that she wants:
  • a play date with Clint Eastwood,
  • (sex) toys like Bazel's,
  • the kind of infamy that Duncan exudes,
  • a quilt and mutual licking with Freya,
  • a sugar daddy to cuddle with like Ti-gris has, and
  • to be immortalized in one of Coyote's recipes poems.

Monday

RNDP 23: More on Online


The Globe and Mail says people's financial troubles make online dating more appealing. Interestingly, back before the financial troubles, online dating was more appealing because hardworking people didn't have time for real life dating. What does this mean? It means that every time a journalist puts a profile on a dating site we can expect to get a story about how these services are growing.

SomeCards.com has line of e-cards tailored to online dating and ready for you to send to people you can't be bothered to buy a postage stamp for.

Two researchers from Indiana University have concluded that "eligible women express themselves better" than eligible men by studying text messages on Italy's real-time interactive music television channel Allmusic. The say, "it is the women who push their messages closest to the character-count limit, who use more abbreviations and insertions, and who implement more emoticons".

Their findings must be legitimate because they were expecting to find the opposite result.

Saturday

Emergency Meeting Minutes: Next stop, Bulk Barn


Present: Aggie, The Chair, Conch Shell, Coyote, Fourth Dwarf, The Independent Observer, Woodsy.

Special Guests: Dishevelled Man, Harmony, La Belle Chanteuse, Painted Stick

Venue: The Somewhat Unusual Spot.

Once food and beverages are lustily consumed, the meeting comes to order.

Conch Shell and Painted Stick depart. Conch Shell assures Fourth Dwarf she will "probably" blog soon.

Coyote moves to hang sewage-splattered 4D out to dry.

4D: I thought there was a standing order to that effect.

Aggie and Woodsy make a joint joy-spreading proposal as an homage to Mae Callen: knitting items and leaving them around town. For instance, statues could be outfitted with earmuffs.

4D: On the evening of Sept. 18 or early Sept. 19, all statues could be dressed as pirates.

Coyote: How about a new product, Eau de Joy Perfume?

Woodsy asks The Chair, "What are you going to make?"

The Chair: (awaking from nap) Make what? Er, a coffin for the mayor.

Aggie: A coffin is too negative. We must brainstorm. There are are no bad ideas, except yours. Besides, two negatives don't make a positive.

4D asks Aggie, "Is this about ideas, or you getting your bon mots in the minutes?" He then asks The Chair if he plans to blog any time soon.

The Chair: Maybe. I haven't been inspired.

Aggie, Dishevelled Man, The Chair, Harmony and La Belle Chanteuse depart.

Woodsy confesses she is concerned about missing Project Runway Canada. She corrects herself, saying that actually 4D (redacted). She also declares that the waitress is a cutie, to the general agreement of the others.

4D suggests (redacted) may be our new muse. He notes that she writes with candour about her revolving-door bedroom escapades. Further, he cites a recent incident in which she described texting a friend about Mr. VIP's hydraulic problems, all while he was sorting out his mechanics during a timeout in the bathroom.

Coyote wonders if she has any clue that people are actually reading her blog.

IO: She may be a virtual exhibitionist.

Coyote: She is.

The IO then expresses concern the ESIs have stooped to pandering, making a tawdry burlesque of the blog by writing about cats and real estate simply because these are the subjects that draw the most visitors.

4D: We are not pandering enough! There's been nothing about real estate lately.

4D and Coyote suggest metablogging cat sites.

IO: I think this screams creative bankruptcy. To go from the 5M to four paws is simply wrong.

4D recalls that even the 5M blogged about kittens. He adds, "You have forgotten the heritage the 5M has left us."

The IO, clearly struggling to come up with anything better, suggests a series of Overheard segments, such as Overheard on OCTranspo.

There is agreement the blog is best when we play off of each other's posts.

IO: What about liveblogging?

Discussion turns to the techniques of liveblogger Kady O'Malley, a former 4D Blog Crush.

4D: We could each cover an event in our own way.

Coyote suggests taking the OTrain to Bulk Barn as an ESI field trip, after which we would each blog the event in our own way.

Woodsy declares that she would like to use the proposed field trip to buy the mayor a jockstrap. Indeed, this gives a whole new meaning to supporting the mayor.

As the meeting begins to wind down, Woodsy invites the others to stroke her unusually textured notebook. Without hesitation, they do.

Woodsy: I'm a very tactile person.

The ESIs agree, it's all about the senses.

The meeting is adjourned.
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