Welcome to the Blogosphere, Bank Street Irrelevants

Press Release:

The Elgin Street Irregulars(ESIs), today announced that they welcome the Bank Street Irrelevants(BSIs) to the Blogosphere and extend their friendship and goodwill to this new group who have taken meta-blogging to a new level of meta-meta-blogging. "Some people say Ottawa is not big enough for two metablogs," reported spokesperson Fourth Dwarf:

Bilgewater! says I. Bring'em on, the more the merrier. As my friend, the Chair, explained it to me, while we may have enjoyed our meta-blogging monopoly, it's led to a deadweight loss for our readers.

The Dwarf went on to specifically compliment the BSIs for:

• Taking obscure self-referential wanking to new heights: "We thought we were good at the obscure SRW, but with posts like My Most Horriblest Day and the Pssst series, we've met our masters."
• Coming up with such clever and appealing pseudonyms: "Especially 'the Third Elf', said the Dwarf, "who is he exactly, Hermey the Misfit Elf? Hank the Tall Elf? Boss Elf?
• Responding to criticism with art.

The Fourth Dwarf also clarified the ESI position on various challenges alleged to have been made by the ESIs to the BSIs:

Obviously, we didn't issue any challenges to them. See who can have profiles for all their members first? Would we issue a challenge we can't possibly win? Never! But I'll hear none of this nonsense that the Bank Street Irregulars are a pack of liars. It's surely our old nemeses Minty and Lana sowing discord between us with phony emails or something.

On top of everything else this week...

... we're a nominee in the Best Group Blog category of the Canadian Blog Awards.

And unlike some bloggy-come-lately wannabes that for obscure reasons have recently begun to ape our franchise slavishly, we didn't need to nominate ourselves. Thank you, Zoom, you're a lovely person. We think everybody should click on over, get clear on the rules, then vote for you in every category in which you're nominated. We already have...

Other Ottawa bloggers represented in Round One of the voting include, but are not limited to, many of our very favourites: Megan Butcher's compelling and personal Asteroidea Press (we're huge fans); RobinK's arrestingly good photoblog, Watawa Life; our very own Aggie's angst-and-craft-ridden Elgin Street Muse; the gimlet-eyed local political commentary of Miss Vickie's Offhand Remarks; Jo Stockton's Also a Talker; David Scrimshaw's Blog about life and binder clips; Andrea's No More Decorators; and finally, Mission:Control (worth checking, though we understand he's peeved with us at the moment...) We've almost certainly forgotten someone we'll regret omitting later. And of course, the scads of mainstream national political bloggers all over this city. We don't regret omitting them at all.

If you like us (you know who you are...), head on over and give us props. If you hate us (ditto...) then vote for someone else. It's all (meta)bloggy goodness.

Living Like a (Reformed) Addict

A few things have inspired me in the last few days that I'd like to share with you. As you have probably gathered, I've been in a creative rut. I have not been crafting. I'm trying to write, but not getting anywhere. I can barely get my ass out to exercise. I have been going to some free meditation classes down the street in a desperate search for inspiration and enlightenment. The meditation helps me just softly and gently embrace the rut rather than dig myself deeper in the rut, which I am rather good at.

I've come to realize that I'm an addict. I'm not pathologizing myself here. In fact, I think there are lots of us out there being addicts of something. We are a culture of addicts. Good for you if you manage not to be one.

Because I'm an addict, I've decided I should strive to live like one. This means, I have to adopt the "every day is a new day" attitude that addicts do. It also means I need to change the way I do things to accommodate my addictions. Chuck Close is a good example of someone who has done this. He rejects the idea of "inspiration" and just gets down to business, grid-by-grid. Julia Child is helping me, too. She could not be more passionate- or addicted - to French cuisine, but describes how it could take hours of work and plenty of failure to get the sauce just right -- or at least good enough to move on to the next recipe.

The PC * Primer

* Pee Clues **

Well. After one's recent snappy exchange with the ESIs' (really, probably all of Ottawa's) favorite Sassy Redhead, one feels compelled to explore the topic in more depth. You know. Put one's nose to the ground, sniff around, tread a contemplative circle for a bit, satisfy oneself that one has found exactly the right spot, and then... one digresses. It must be instinct.

She raises a valid question. Why need we be concerned if a certain partner pees on himself, and only himself, then walks into a Tim Horton's? What business is it of ours? Other than because he blogged it for the entire Internet to read, I mean.

Well. I can only speak for myself, because other members of this little consortium may (okay, almost certainly do) have other thoughts on the topic.

In my view, though, if he's going to make a habit out of this kind of thing, there are products out there that are way better adapted to some form of human riding in an auto's shotgun seat, than Coke cans.

More importantly, as one of several four-legged species that regard this form of communication with the utmost seriousness, I have to say that if he's peeing on himself, that's just a totally egregious waste of perfectly good territory-marking ammo...

** C'mon! You didn't think this was going to be about Political Correctness? Personal Computers? President's Choice? Or, Dog help us, the Progressive Conservatives? Did you?!

Exercise for Aggie

I am lazy. I need to exercise, but can't seem to make the move or commit to anything. Sounds an awful lot like my love life. Anyway, I found this wonderful guide, which gives lots of good examples of things I can do in my daily life that can gently integrate physical fitness into my life. For example, I should be marching on the spot while brushing my teeth; I should be squeezing my buttocks as I'm doing my errands; I should be trying to sit up very very straight while watching TV. All these things are designed to raise my awareness about the need for physical activity.
But, I need a concrete plan, and I'm asking for your help. There are a number of things I hate in an exercise plan, so let's just get those out of the way:
1) I hate exercise plans that require expensive gear.
2) I hate exercise that requires a personal trainer.
3) I hate stinky gyms.
4) I hate exercise that requires me to go out in the cold when I'm half awake without coffee.
5) I hate pools.
6) I hate any sport that requires hand/eye coordination.
I want a plan that will get me into top shape with minimal effort. I want it to be pleasant, achievable, refreshing and economical. Getting a dog is the obvious answer, but, again, I'm not ready for this kind of commitment.