Probably only coincidence

Inquiring coyotes can't help noticing how carefully all the government news releases, media stories and pundits have been pussyfooting around the suspicious confluence of today's two great television events: the fact that August 31, 2011 is the, ummm, drop-dead date stamped upon not only the Great Digitul Switchover, but CTV News anchor Lloyd Robertson's retirement from the 'lectronical firmament.



Both huge! Both televisiony! Has nobody but me connected the two? Even though they hover blatantly in front of us like giant hi-def bats, everybody is carefully pretending they aren't in the room.



(In related news, coyotes are mourning the loss of analog rabbit ears. Digital ones are practically inedible. I digress. Ahem.)



Anyway, it's probably nothing for torch-carrying global villagers across the nation to worry about. However. An ever more parchment-complexioned Lloyd has been calling late night TV bingo for so unnaturally long that even people that don't believe in the undead, openly call him "Count Floyd" to his face now.



So those of us attuned to the semimythical realms, while not feeling certain about this one (Call it a theory. Like economics. I digress again.) suspect pretty strongly that vampires, whom everyone knows cannot be seen in mirrors, may also be incapable of manifesting themselves on digital TV. So, perfect time to retire.



Ummm. Probably only coincidence. But I'm just sayin'...

What's this Two Lip Fest, anyway?

I don't get it. Why hold a Two Lip Fest? Makes no sense to celebrate something so ordinary. Doesn't everybody have a pair?

Or is it supposed to be about the kissing...? Like in those old country songs, where there's always a line about "pressing your two lips close to mine..."?

Sign Language and Prime Ministers

A little news story about sign language and the prime minister of Thailand sent me on an internet search quest this week. It seems the Thai PM is not happy with his name sign. Apparently his nose resembles an apple and in Thailand, name signs are often based on a person's physical characteristics. So instead of finger spelling Samak Sundaravej, signers hold their noses between two fingers. [CBC story]

What is the name sign for Stephen Harper? I wondered. He must care given the news last week that the government lobby to the House of Commons has been transformed into a Harper portrait gallery. [1, 2, 3] Alas, after a lengthy search using both Google and Yahoo, I did not find a name sign for our Prime Minister.

However, along the way I learned some interesting things about name signs. In North America, most name signs are finger-spelled initials of the first and last name with the right hand held by the head. Elsewhere in the world, and sometimes here, the name sign is a gesture based on some other characteristic of the person. [Good detail with images here, including Wayne Gretzky's name sign.]

Another important thing about name signs is that you are not supposed to pick your own. Sort of like getting your aboriginal name. You don't get to call yourself "Soaring Eagle" unless a native person gives you that name. And if "Spawning Cod" is what they call you, that is what you get.

Illustrated above is what I think Stephen Harper would like his name sign to be. This is based on the widely reported but so far unproven claim that in his youth he attended Star Trek conventions in costume.

However, unless someone can tell us differently, I believe we should assume that Stephen Harper's name sign is a right-handed finger-spelled "S" followed by a finger-spelled "H" near the top of your head.

Bonus Links for your edification:

Practice reading finger-spelling here

Some signers don't believe in name signs

ASL Browser

Signs for Babies

Senspiration

The Ducks may have more muscle, more goals and more wins. But Ottawa has history on its side.

Things that go click in the night

An acquaintance is grappling with a mystery. Her television frequently turns on by itself in the middle of the night. Prime theories to explain this odd phenomenon:

1) The TV was manufactured on a Monday
2) North Korea's Kim Jong Il is beaming electromagnetic waves at North America to mess with our minds and our home appliances
3) Gnomes
4) People are wandering around on the sidewalk with remote controls, randomly zapping away
5) The TV, unable to start a blog, has found another way of expressing itself

If we found her...

Suppose she is blogging... Somewhere else... Under a new pseudonym... Sharing stories that show it's not all happily ever after?

And suppose we found her new blog...

Would it be wrong to start writing about it here? and link to her? Yeah, probably wrong, right? Some of the people who were mean to her check in here from time to time. And I know this will sound crazy, but what if we were the ones she wanted to get away from?

I suppose if she wanted us to find her, she'd give us a clue. Maybe link to us so it would show up in the tracking stats.

But it still wouldn't be obvious what we should do. Suppose she's back giving the intimate details that we love so much? On the one hand, I'd want to discuss it with the ESIs and our readers, but on the other hand, I wouldn't want to force her to relocate to another secret blog.

What do you folks think?