Carbon Dating Service

From CBC Radio 3's Bucky Awards

Best new band name: Carbon Dating Service

Website: www.myspace.com/carbondatingservice
Download: Carbon Dating Service - 2006 Press Kit

Things that go click in the night

An acquaintance is grappling with a mystery. Her television frequently turns on by itself in the middle of the night. Prime theories to explain this odd phenomenon:

1) The TV was manufactured on a Monday
2) North Korea's Kim Jong Il is beaming electromagnetic waves at North America to mess with our minds and our home appliances
3) Gnomes
4) People are wandering around on the sidewalk with remote controls, randomly zapping away
5) The TV, unable to start a blog, has found another way of expressing itself

Publog Research: Café Paradiso

Based on fieldwork by the Independent Observer, Agatha, AODWF (Aggie's Off-Duty Waiter Friend), Coyote, and the Research Director, on 23 December 2006:

The Pluses (or things we'd rip off wholesale our spot)

• Garage door windows that can be opened onto the street in fine weather (They were closed when we were there...) ;
• Funky future-deco curved ceiling and wall details;
• Nifty light fixtures that looked like little Sputnik satellites, that 4th Dwarf would've liked a lot if he'd been there;
  
• A well-handled fusion menu (Butternut Squash Chili and Apricot and Chorizo Stuffed Chicken Supreme were sampled and judged excellent);
  
• A superior live jazz trio playing selections by Vince Guaraldi;
  
• Service that blended attentiveness and efficiency without becoming presumptuously chummy (We believe waiter-waitee relationships desirable, but best when cultivated over time);
  
• Enough beautiful/handsome/rich patrons to create an exclusive atmosphere.
  

The Minuses (or things we should avoid)

• No convenient watering dish for thirsty dogs at the entrance;
• A waiter who was shocked (Shocked!) to discover that the Paradiso in fact sold pitchers of draught beer -- although he did manage to unearth a clean pitcher and serve it up, once informed that this was the case;
• A decided lack of solo French fry or potato wedge items on the menu, although these could be had with main dishes. AODWF also noted the absence of an intriguingly exotic comestible he called 'deluxe poutine' (don't ask);
• Portion sizes that certain circumferentially-enhanced, low-altitude, high-attitude ESI members would have considered most disappointing, had they been in attendance, and;
• Atmosphere perhaps a little too upmarket and exclusive for ESIs and their usual circle.

These work against it being a regular hangout for our target market, although it's certainly a nice place to dress up for and visit occasionally. Assuming, of course, that you're not wearing permanent fur already.

Publog Research: 4th Ave Wine Bar

Based on fieldwork by Coyote, 4D, the Chair, Audrey, Conchie, the Research Director, Painted Stick and Aggie on 19 December 2006:

The Pluses (or things we should try to copy in our spot)

• Huge fish tank;
• Excellent red wine; and
  
• Full-size robot sculpture made of junk (at least I think it's a sculpture and not just a robot that's been switched off).
  

The Minuses (or things we should avoid)

• Diabolically uncomfortable bar stools;
• $ 5 for a tiny plate of spindly little fries that arrive without salt (instead of a large basket of big potato wedges);
• Waiter takes one person's drink order, ignores others with empty glasses, (and is apparently anti-dwarfistic); and
• A croque-monsieur with fries (spindly little ones) and a salad takes an hour to make.
  

Publog Research: The Parliamentary Restaurant

Based on fieldwork by the IO, Coyote, 4D, Audrey and the Amazon on 19 December 2006:

The Pluses (or things we should try to copy in our spot)

• Put all guests through metal detector and x-ray their belongings to give them confidence in their safety and a heightened sense of exclusivity;
• Gold crest on all china;
• Great view of Ottawa River, Parliament Buildings, etc.;
• Strong possibility of seeing famous people;
• Big selection of desserts;
• Friendly service; and
• When seating people in remote corner with no view of celebrities, tell them "this is the Prime Minister's corner but it's yours today".

The Minuses (or things we should avoid)

• Staff should know whether diet ginger ale is available or not; and
• People with empty coffee cups should be offered refills.

[See: Business Case for the Brilliant Idea]