Tuesday

Coyote: on the lam (on the lamb, shurely -- ed.)


After recently giving Ottawa's finest the slip, Coyote and a rather comely companion (nothing new for the ol' fox) were spied by an ESI operative motoring about Kingston on the weekend.

The albino disguise, just in time for All Hallows' Eve, wasn't foolin' no one.

Blissfully racking up parking tickets and chowing down on Hasenpfeffer at mouth-watering Chez Piggy,the most semi-mythical of the ESIs proved once again he knows how to roll.

Friday

Happy 40th Anniversary...

We of the Elgin Street Irregulars wish to take a moment to thank some of our spiritual forefathers and wish them an extremely happy 40th anniversary. Sure, they're kind of a boomer phenom, and all geezers now, but the partners in this firm find it positively inspirational that the Pythons managed to produce their entire TV series on a budget of about $2.98, or £1 13s 2d, if you remain fluent in the original pounds sterling.

They still cross arbitrary cohort labels to remind the world of a fresher, simpler time, when absurdists could actually make up shit faster than it happened in real life.

It's much harder now. Especially in Ottawa, where reality may never have been much of a prerequisite. Not that we're complaining. The mayor and the PM alone each have contributed enough material to our "for-comment" file to keep us skirting the other side of the outer edges of sanity for years. Possibly longer. And we haven't even begun to harvest the (over)ripe possibilities hidden in John Baird's hair... I, for one, am pretty sure that there's lethal fruit in there somewhere, and I intend to do what it takes to find it.

Happy Ruby Anniversary, Pythons!

Tuesday

Gettin' it? Uh, no


Over a weekend feast of gobbling bird, talk turned to an incessantly played TV commercial for the erectile dysfunction drug Cialis.

You know the one: a man getting ready for work asks his wife a stream of questions: Have you seen my wallet? Have you seen my good shoes?

The man becomes increasingly annoyed, as he appears late and cannot locate any of his things. Finally, he makes his way to the garage to discover his car has a flat tire. His wife sits at the kitchen table in her bathrobe, sporting a quizzical half-smile.

No one at dinner could figure out what was going on in this commercial. Three theories were floated:

(*) One of the side-effects of Cialis is memory loss.
(*) The woman is so tired of being this Cialis-addled man's love slave, she sabotaged all his stuff.
(*) The woman is enjoying her hubby's Cialis-popping ways so much, she never wants him to leave home.

What do you think this ad is about? Or does the company just want us to be confused so random bloggers will ponder all this and inadvertently plug their little yellow pills? Help us out here!

Sunday

Google Poem: Not that you were planning to, but...

* oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

* you can't just punt.

* No. I'm sorry. But you can't just be so adamant about something, then whoop-de-doo change your mind, oh well, never mind.

* You can't. Just let her do it.

* you can't just say “sexual harassment is just wrong”

* You can't just accept such stories uncritically.

* See, you can't just let me enjoy the moment.

* This means you can't just mail in your keys and say goodbye to the loan

* You can't just spend money if it is not there and teams are wanting a lot of money for players...

* You can't just come in one day on the train and try to influence everything

* once you've seen the second, you can't just stop.

* You can't just run yourself a bath

* you know, you can't just do this in one second.

* You can't just get rid of it by forcing me

* You can't just write random articles on a daily basis.

* You can't just drop your vowels like that and get away with it.

* You can't just bunch a lot of keywords together over and over again, though; search engines generally don't like that, and your page rank will fall.

* if you forget to take the bottle to work, you have to sniffle all day, because you can't just buy another one. And be careful handling the bottle, because if you spill it you can't get a replacement.

* You can't just forget standards--they're there for a reason. Mostly to save guys from waking up next to monsters in the morning.

* You can't just use any old thing like on a resistive screen.

* I know it's tough and you can't just ask someone to simply “Inner Game That Shit” in order to make it go away.

* You can't just go out and buy a personal jet at your local general store.

* I mean, you can't just hire a random fan who sends in an application and then say, “Wow, you've watched every UFC since 1993 and you clearly know your MMA — here's a striped shirt, we'll see you in the cage next Friday.

* And you can't just call in sick because you don't feel like working.

* You can't just turn around, go back down the ladder and quit.

* You're right that you can't just pick a place by reputation.

* You Can't Just Demand to Be Placed on Somebody's Blogroll.

* In order to slay a god, you can't just bring more warriors.

* you can't just walk in and be all hey can i marry your daughter now kthx YOU CAN'T DO THAT

* You can't just plop down like this.

* you can't "just put him down"!

* It isn't rocket scientist, but you can't just toss up any old free “easy to use” blog and consider yourself a future online business success story.

* They're always like, “Now, now, you can't just go scaling back a recipe!” But that's pretty much exactly what I did...

* You can't just shut a farm down...

* You can't just ask for knowledge.

* Understanding that you can't just create money from nothing and then spend it without any negative consequences isn't complicated.

* If you can't just enjoy watching the Greatest Golfer of alltime play this game, then go back to your beer swilling, women chasing redneck 4some and stop bothering the rest of us with your Bullcrap.

* You can't just play your best games and sit out on your weaker games, it's not allowed.

* You can't just sit inside you car and wait for someone to do the task for you.

* You can't just have the will to do it. You've got to have the stuff.

* you can't just have one person take the ball.

* You can't

Friday

Life in Wasp-boro



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