Valentine's Special: Audrey’s top-ten list of romantic gestures - continued

Audrey writes:

My boyfriend and I were on vacation in Jamaica earlier this month. One evening at the outdoor nightclub, the host began to select couples to appear onstage for a silly game. When he motioned to us, my boyfriend waved his hand to indicate “no”. At the same moment, I jumped up and said “yes”. It turned out that we four couples had two minutes to exchange clothing with our partners!

I raced inside the hotel, dragging my boyfriend behind me. I pulled off my top and he quickly unbuttoned his and took it off. He draped my little top around his neck while I buttoned up his big shirt. Then, I motioned to him to take off his pants. He laughed and asked me if I was serious! I insisted and we were both shocked to discover that he fit into my capris!

We didn’t win the contest but my boyfriend later told me that, when I rushed into the building to change, he thought we were making our getaway!

Once again, I thought I would share some of my boyfriend’s romantic gestures, in the hope that my list will improve someone else’s search for true love.

21. Surprise her by bringing 1 kg (!) of her favourite milk chocolate in your luggage when going away on vacation.
22. One evening at your vacation resort, sing karaoke with her, even though you have never done this before.
23. Stand outside in the bitter cold (-25C) making Jamaican jerk chicken on the BBQ for a romantic dinner, and insist that she stay indoors.
24. Give her your old laptop, which is still in perfect condition. Surprise her by loading the photos you have gathered of the two of you.
25. Add her family members to your Skype contacts list and call them even when she is not with you.
26. Eat her Christmas shortbread so slowly that she realizes that you really do love it. (Note: I secretly baked him more shortbread.)
27. Visit the doctor for a full physical at her suggestion.
28. Buy her vitamin D.
29. Express intelligent opinions about her work.
30. When you discover the long line-up to see Slumdog Millionaire at the World Exchange Cinema, act like it is an adventure and drive to the SilverCity Gloucester Cinema. Do not give up hope, even when, as you approach the cashier, the cinema posts a “limited seating” notice for the movie.

Previously:

• RNDP 12a: More Romantic Gestures that Score with Audrey
• RNDP 12: Romantic Gestures that Score with Audrey

Nod to Bob

Bob, from tap my glass and nod my chin, who is one of Aggie's crushes, has started a series photographing nasty loos. This series appeals to me, and Aggie claims that she is loving this nasty loo series so far.

Friday night, I stepped into the washroom stall at a local Indian restaurant, and I was surprised to see an old dented pewter kettle at the foot of the toilet. I crossed my legs for a minute more, and in Bob's honour I took a picture.

Was I supposed to use the kettle water to rinse my delicate parts?

OC Transpo: Still a few bugs in the system

Baseline Station 5:29PM

RNDP: Phoning It In

I'm just too tired for a proper post this week. I've got most of the cleaning up done from yesterday's shit shower but still some to go. Yes, if you've gone through something challenging, you call it a shitstorm, but if you've actually been sprayed by raw sewage, no need to exaggerate.

So here's a picture of Elgin Street. Police cars and ambulance down near whatever they're calling the Penguin Café these days, just after midnight on Saturday. Nothing to do with my troubles. Just a picture.

While I'm about as out of it as the little boy who went to the dentist and so can't help those of you looking for a revolutionary new dating paradigm, there are still plenty of others with creativity, energy and insights to help you along the way. Here is a roundup of this week's scholarship in the field:

• XKCD has created a brilliant graphic that explains the baseball code.
• Researchers in Indiana have confirmed that it is damned hard to tell if a gal likes a guy she's on a first date with. If you think they are mistaken, you can prove them wrong by participating in the online version of their study.
• Snopes busted the urban legend that most Americans marry their high school sweethearts.
• Laura at NoGoodForMe.com has developed a set of outfits women going on dates with 6 different types of men. She suggests she'll be making "For a Date With" a regular feature.

p.s. Word is the Emergency Meeting might take place before the end of the month. Any agenda items?

The InterTubes According to Google

The Internet...*

• ...is a Series of Tubes.
• ...is no 21st century boob tube.
• ...is Never Gonna Give Rick Astley Up.
• ...is mainly for complaining.
• ...is an internet based on the Internet Protocol suite.
• ...is broken.
• ...is different.
• ...is almost full.
• ...is missing.
• ...is the enemy.
• ...is an Orgy.
• ...is an Ogre.
• ...is a copy machine.
• ...is a prime news source.
• ...is not a truck.
• ...is a good thing because it is unregulatable.
• ...is shit. It is vitally important that we all realize this and move on.

* With (sincerely faked) apologies to the Fourth Dwarf for being either too busy or too lazy to be original, and totally ripping off his Google Poem thing instead.

* Opinions expressed are the views of their authors and do not necessarily represent the viewpoint of the ESI Editorial Board. But they might.