The InterTubes According to Google

The Internet...*

• ...is a Series of Tubes.
• ...is no 21st century boob tube.
• ...is Never Gonna Give Rick Astley Up.
• ...is mainly for complaining.
• ...is an internet based on the Internet Protocol suite.
• ...is broken.
• ...is different.
• ...is almost full.
• ...is missing.
• ...is the enemy.
• ...is an Orgy.
• ...is an Ogre.
• ...is a copy machine.
• ...is a prime news source.
• ...is not a truck.
• ...is a good thing because it is unregulatable.
• ...is shit. It is vitally important that we all realize this and move on.

* With (sincerely faked) apologies to the Fourth Dwarf for being either too busy or too lazy to be original, and totally ripping off his Google Poem thing instead.

* Opinions expressed are the views of their authors and do not necessarily represent the viewpoint of the ESI Editorial Board. But they might.

Saturday Night Premonition

"You have access to the Internet again!" I mumble loudly in a half awake state.

"What? Did you say something?" asks my sleeping mate waking up startled and confused.

"Oh, sorry, I was dreaming about a group of blogger friends who haven't been blogging recently. We were at our usual spot, and I was standing on the table and yelling at them that they all have Internet access."

My bed mate gives me a bemused look, mutters something in a patronizing voice, rolls over, and goes back to his sonic boom snoring.