I see we're trying to roll out yet another Plan B on the Transit Plan thing - again. This time, $7.2 billion buys the city a couple of rail lines that don't get where a lot of transit users want to to go, And! A! Light! Rail! Tunnel! Downtown!
Hey! The times cry for boldness! Does a real city need to dig some crappy rail tunnel? They're so 19th century, and our visionary mayor is really a 20th century kinda guy. Heh. I know we've we've suggested a few Plan Bs ourselves, but now I think Ottawa just needs to leapfrog straight over all that dithering, and skip straight to the big enchilada: Plan F!
Hear me out. I've been looking into motorized para gliders, and $7,200 buys a nice one, with bulk discounts. More than adequate. Our budget buys a million of 'em. Do it! Lend them out for a minimal fee to everyone who needs to use one, just like those communal bicycles in Paris and Amsterdam. Cutting edge thinking. No need to dig a tunnel. No more buses clogging the streets. We put all that free wasted airspace to use. Utopia! Well, except for the pigeons.
Our mayor is obviously big on the cult of the amateur. He applauds when the city fires those elitist managers. He's proved willing to pitch in micromanage things himself. And since being elected, he's more than fulfilled his ripe early promise as an ultimate amateur. So I think he'll agree when I say that although these things technically fly, we don't need no stinkin' pilot licence requirements. Anybody with a toonie or so should be able to use 'em. And to show my faith in him, I think he should be the first to test the system. Do we need Plan F right this minute, or what?
|
|
|
|
Friday
Ottawa Transit: Straight to Plan F
Posted by
Unknown
Labels:
City of Ottawa,
genius,
OCTranspo,
Supporting the Mayor,
technology,
transit
Thursday
Avoiding awkward moments
I've heard a rumour that Woodsy might be running into some Ottawa bloggers this weekend. Since bloggers are inquisitive and yet shy at the same time, I have prepared this list of questions they should avoid with each other to prevent awkwardness.
- A&J at Please pick up your socks: "Did you have any trouble finding a parking spot?"
- Alison at Party of 3: "Would you say this is as tasty as frozen yogourt?"
- From Nat's Brain: Are those your original lips?
- Guillermo at Los Zielgler: "How do you like Canadian wildlife? Don't you think squirrels are adorable?"
- Hella Stella - No questions are off limits with Stella. Ask what she's bought at her favourite store lately.
- Jobthingy's Jungle: "Have you used your cell phone for something other than phoning lately?"
- Jo Stockton at Also a Talker: "Does your gynecologist still think you're a good woman?"
- Lynn at Diary of a Turtlehead: "Is it true you got silicone cups for your birthday"
- Maven of Stay at Home Mayhem: "Do you think a person who calls herself a social blogger might actually be a binging blogger in denial?"
- Meanie at Mean old Mommy: "Would you like a Dorito?"
- Newsguy Bob: "Could you pass the salt?"
- Raino MOT: "Have you found anywhere in Ottawa to get naked with a little oriental girl?"
- Robin at Watawa Life: "Have you snuggled with Clint Eastwood today?"
- Sky Girl: "Is your daughter still obsessed with the stove timer?"
- Skylark at Logan - The DandeLion King: "Still sleeping with your son?"
- Woodsy Coloured Marbles (or here): "What would you wear under that top?"
- XUP: "Would you like a drive home?"
- Zoom at Knitnut: "Did anyone pee in your bed last night?"
Posted by
Unknown
Labels:
Dysfunction,
Metablogging
Wednesday
Stringer Tree Guerillas? Never heard of 'em
With a new Parliament upon us, it seems an opportune time to try to divine the political fortunes of our federal parties. Sometimes that means peering into the mists for hidden messages, scripted code and fateful meaning. So let's rev up the trusty Internet Anagram Server and see what we can learn by typing in their names.
Conservatives ... Cave Voter Sins
Liberals ... Ill Bears or, if you are a glass half-full type, Ballsier
Bloc Quebecois ... Coo Clique Ebbs
New Democrats ... Comrade Newts
Green Party ... Rapt Energy
Looking ahead to the Liberal leadership race, things appear a little menacing for Michael Ignatieff ... Mafia Fleecing Hit ... and equally troublesome for Dominic LeBlanc ... Clinical Mob Den ... but perhaps former Ontario premier Bob Rae will again rule in the coming Bob Era.
Image: Superior Comrade Newt keeps an eye or two on the proletariat
Conservatives ... Cave Voter Sins
Liberals ... Ill Bears or, if you are a glass half-full type, Ballsier
Bloc Quebecois ... Coo Clique Ebbs
New Democrats ... Comrade Newts
Green Party ... Rapt Energy
Looking ahead to the Liberal leadership race, things appear a little menacing for Michael Ignatieff ... Mafia Fleecing Hit ... and equally troublesome for Dominic LeBlanc ... Clinical Mob Den ... but perhaps former Ontario premier Bob Rae will again rule in the coming Bob Era.
Image: Superior Comrade Newt keeps an eye or two on the proletariat
Posted by
Unknown
Labels:
anagrams,
Politics,
subliminal seduction