Porn and Sex and Blog Popularity in Ottawa

Tonight I was with some friends and we discussed the pornographic nature of some television shows. For instance, it was argued that werewolf porn is really just a kink for the fluffies, who are apparently some kind of cuddly fetish group -- and possibly sometimes inclined to disguise as werewolves. This naturally brought us to further discussions about the secrets of getting an Ottawa readership for one's blog. This then brought us to talk about the ESI blog and its appreciated but rather stagnant readership. To grow, it was thought that we ESIs needed to be personal. However, our readers will know that this is something the ESI community completely avoids (so, therefore, beyond our ability). Realizing this, the next suggestion was that we needed to be sexual, especially in an Ottawa context. That was the word for the evening.

Well, the discussion came around to the the core issue: How to get readership when you are a group of people without a single voice for readers to follow, not into revealing personal details, not independently famous, and not interested in working too hard to achieve it? Really, to me, given that we can't discuss our personal lives with any real gore, it's clear that discussing or engaging in public sex is beyond us. So, anyone have some suggestions about how to increase readership other than producing pornography or becoming personal?

NSFW*: ESI Corset Friday

Okay, the election does not engage us. Or, apparently, anybody except campaigning politicians. So far it manifests all the charisma of the Tory blue lint on the PM's "for advertising purposes only" sweater vest - which manifests rather more charisma than the PM. What to post, what to post?

A number of us this week have been riffin' on the redoubtable, antipodal NurseMyra's gig. Her weekly Corset Friday postings are kind of a big deal in certain circles. It's a bit complicated to explain, but they seem to cheer up the inmates patients at Gimcrack Hospital, where she works.

Apparently somebody has been riffing much longer. Harmony commented yesterday that some unnamed vandal had used their Mad Photo Editing Skillz to add an item of intimate apparel to my sidebar icon. So I braced the Short Guy. He said, nonchalantly, that he'd put it there weeks ago.

Weeks? Weeks?! I draw two ummm, three lessons from this:

• First, Dear Reader, keep your eyes on all parts of this blog at all times: ya can't keep up to it without a program. Even, apparently, when you're an Irregular.
• Second, if you Photoshop a coyote's photo, you will be repaid in kind...
• Third, and just in: it seems that tagging an image with "crossdressing dwarf" is a recipe for instant search engine megahits. Who knew?

* Not Safe For Work. But you knew that already...

Thong Thursday

I was going to make Thursday, Thong Thursday. However, given the gravity of the current economic situation, I must shift my focus to non-arse matters. I'm ignoring the election here up north. Not because I think it's boring ( even though it is). But because the Harper majority possibility scares me into a blah-blah-blah-I'm-not-listening kind of state. So, let's shift the focus south. Not that it is less scarey.
McCain has suspended campaigning because......he thinks he can singlehandedly save the economy right before the election? Or, is it because (here's the conspiracy theory) Bush is planning to cancel the election because ......how can they have an election when the "entire economy is in danger"? And watch for another terrorist attack while you're at it.
Apart from all this, the weather has been nice, eh? Warm enough to wear a thong.

Cabinet secrets indeed...

Can the election get any more boring? The eye-glazing ennui sent me scurrying to the observatory library to dig up these little-known but fascinating facts about Canadian politics:

1. Historians believe William Lyon Mackenzie King wrote a final but now lost volume of his famous diaries. Known cryptically among scholars as "Tranche 21," it has never surfaced. But King did mention the volume in at least two letters penned shortly before his death. In one of these missives, King suggests he fabricated stories in the earlier volumes about séances and conversations with his dog to dispel the notion he was tremendously dull.

2. Sir John A. Macdonald's fondness of drink is well documented. But his true weakness was pie. During whistle-stop campaign tours, Macdonald insisted that a fresh-baked pastry -- preferably blueberry or strawberry -- be waiting on the train platform, to be lustily consumed immediately after his public addresses. He even travelled with a personal pastry chef. During the 1891 campaign, the chef fell ill in northern Ontario. Party minions were left scrambling to ensure a suitable pie was ready for the stop in Kenora, Ont., and sent frantic telegraph messages to the kitchen at Rideau Hall in Ottawa for advice. Nervous aides feared the crust would be too soggy or, even worse, too flaky, sending Sir John A. into another of his drunken tirades.

3. In the late 19th century, men in sparsely populated western Canada were allowed as many as three votes: one for themselves, and up to two others for their livestock -- either two head of cattle, or one cow and one sheep. Several years later, women got the vote.

4. The Green Party's campaign signs are completely edible. Coming in three flavours -- mango, pomegranate and rhubarb -- each certified-organic sign contains more protein than the average veggie burger.

5. All of Environment Minister John Baird's toupées are hand-woven from imported chinchilla fur. A special order-in-council was signed last year to allow a dozen of the Andean rodents, which face extinction, to be quietly brought into Canada. They are raised at a secret location in Baird's Ottawa riding.

Images: Sir John A.: Politics, Polls and Pastry, Nofifththing Press, 1976; Cows: www.rampantgames.com/

Tank Top Tuesday

Silver Moon Tank Top From Aggie