SOLD!

Last spring when I was in the process of preparing my house in the Woods for sale, Conch Shell happened to write about the Ottawa housing market. Taking advantage that she and Audrey were real-estate experts, I asked the following question in the comments:

My agent says that I shouldn't leave pictures of family and friends out... they say that the person visiting wants to be able to picture themselves in my home[...] Who do you think is right?

My question generated a glut of comments from readers as to what I should and should not do to stage my house properly for a quick and easy sale. A few weeks later, I posted the following comment:

Thank you all... this is great advice. I have had most of the place painted a light neutral color, and it looks good in both daylight and artificial light... all the trim has been repainted too... and I am removing all the clutter. I hope to make it look spacious, bright and homey. I want people to walk in and feel that it won't be too much work to make it their place with their colors... I will leave family photos out.

Well, three weeks went by during which I had fifteen showings, but received no offers.

The fourth weekend that my little house was on the market, I had to be away overnight on the Friday. Even though my son, Erratic Genius, had been allowed a sleepover, I was not concerned because he is a responsible young man. I knew he and Karate Kid, his sleep-over friend, would cooperate to make the beds and clean-up before the scheduled Saturday one o'clock viewing. I was due back by noon which gave us plenty of time to fluff things up and make everything picture perfect.

I arrived home just after noon and found the place looking ransacked. Standing in the middle of the chaos was Erratic Genius. He looked shell-shocked and desperately pale. Karate Kid was nowhere to be found.

“What happened here?” I asked calmly horrified.

All in one erratic breath he explained, “Karate Kid and I were woken up by these (expletive) people just walking into the house at 10 a.m.… and last night Karate Kid cut himself – there’s (expletive) blood in the (expletive) bathroom sink, on the (expletive) mirror, and on the (expletive) linen cupboard doors…It's real blood this time. We tried to clean up but it just got (expletive) smeared…I can't believe that (double expletive) people just walked into the house this morning without (expletive) setting up an appointment… there was a (expletive) real-estate agent and a couple… they had 3 (triple expletive) kids… the (expletive) kids jumped all over your made-up bed and on the sofas… they were (expletive) running around the house (expletive) yelling and touching stuff… Karate Kid and I tried to clean-up the pizza boxes and pop cans from our sleep-over, but then another (double expletive) agent showed up with more clients… they walked in with their (expletive) shoes… they left (expletive) mud prints everywhere… then a third (expletive) agent showed up with her (expletive) client and started asking us all kinds of (expletive) questions, so we just ran off…I just got back... I waited until they were all (expletive) gone to come back… I’m so sorry Woodsy! We will never sell our place!

Some people must prefer a lived in look, because a few days later I had an offer from the third visitor that day!

I'll have a non-fat chai latte, hold the cup

Waiting for Audrey recently at a downtown Starbucks, I ordered a latte.

The woman behind the counter responded in the same tone she might use had I asked her to co-pilot an imaginary spaceship to the planet Xatox or express milk my waiting llama on the sidewalk.

"You want an actual cup?" she asked.

"Yes, an actual cup would be great," I said with a smile.

I also ordered a piece of banana cake, and upon hearing the crinkle of a paper bag I chimed in, "That's for here, too."

"Oh, yes," she said, soon adding, "We only have this saucer. All the actual plates are broken."

"A saucer would be fine."

I'm not a green-tinged saint but, hey, I try.

Common sense, not to mention a study or five, tells us ceramic mugs and plates are more environmentally friendly than disposable cups and paper bags, even when you factor in the energy needed to manufacture and wash the dishes.

But invariably the chain coffee joints offer you a disposable cup rather than a reusable one.

Starbucks says it wants to "re-establish" the ceramic mug as its "global standard" for people swilling java in-store by 2010.

Let's hope the planet is still around.

Image: http://yogitimesblog.blogspot.com/

Rogers or Bell?

Discuss.

Not such a great year at Bank & Somerset...

Employees regroup after arriving Monday morning to find the building that housed their business was badly damaged by fire overnight.

The four-storey commercial structure is on the northeast corner of Bank and Somerset, across the street from Somerset House. Nearly a year ago, the intersection was blocked after the partial collapse of that building during renovations. The blockage during subsequent legal ping-pong between the city and the former hotel's owner, about whether to save it or raze it, played out for months before reno work restarted in spring.

Bank Street businesses then spent the summer in the midst of a major street reconstruction that remains to be finished.

Just me, or is Ottawa's approach to downtown redevelopment a little ad-hoc...?

Word Cop - Just go with "For example"

Case and Point?

ZeroMeansZero - Case and point the ongoing saga of the sewage into our river... [1 additional demerit for missing comma after "point". 3 additional demerits for gratuitous cheap shots throughout blog].

Beholding and Becoming - “When the Kings Come Marching In” is case and point.

Aggravated Cases - Use in Blog Title:

Case and point - http://spencercaselog.blogspot.com/ I am Spencer Case, currently known as Specialist Case among my battle buddies in the 207th MPAD [2 additional demerits because when your name is Case and you are in the military, "Case in point" would have been a way better name for your blog. However, sentence is suspended due to the mitigating factor that you blogged in Iraq and your last post in 2006 says you should be going home soon and then nothing... ]

Case and Point - Case for and point of living. Maybe. Big stuff. Small stuff. All good stuff. [1 additional demerit for not using other possible definitions of "case and point", for example, "surreptitiously search a building and identify valuable items"]

CASE AND POINT - MY POINTS I THINK THAT MAY BE OF INTREST TO MOST PEOPLE. AND sell race cars and parts [Penalty: HTTP 404. Use in Title combined with use of upper case that switches to lower case for no apparent reason and mispelling of "interest", with no mitigating factors

Too many other examples to cite here.

Further research is suggested to verify the hypothesis that those who use "case and point" have more extreme and less tolerant opinions than those who use "case in point", but that both groups are less strident than those who instead use "for example", "such as", or "like".

Alerts for Deputized Word Cops from Language Log:

1. "Wile away" may actually be acceptable.
2. Keep your eyes open for overzealous censoring software that produces text with words like "clbuttic", "conbreastution" and "Buttociated Press"