Buckyblog #2: too cute by half

Huh. Apparently, kittyblogging has strict rules. Who knew? Since the Short Guy, in addition to being a hairball expert - he's one himself - is also a tiresome pedant, I have no reason to doubt him. Speaking of hairballs, you should see the size of them! Huge, sploogey tan and brown things, covered in cat spit and splattered all over the antique cream broadloom! (We coyotes keep a very retro-stylish den...) Yucko!

I would've asked Aggie what to do about them, followed her advice, then reported the amusing results, but an urgent matter has arisen. Note the calculating expression on Bucky's puss: It comes to my attention that all cats are members of a fiendishly well-organized cabal dedicated to taking over the world. They infiltrate people's homes, weasel their nefarious tunaheaded ways into positions of trust, suck the air out of their alleged owners' lungs until they can't think straight (Various Zoom postings and comments passim) then run the world by proxy whilst their hosts are weakened and suggestable.

But they want more. And they have the means to do it. Read this carefully, and don't let your cat see you when you do it: Every cat in the world is in constant extrasensory communication with every other cat. It's a maleficent feline group brain, dedicated to total domination. When they're ready, they'll pounce, take over the world, and likely snack on your cold, dead fingers as an afterthought. They're determined, cunning, organized, and very, very good. Look at the evidence: innocent coyotes are being chased out of Greely and Richmond as we speak! Coincidence?

The good news, is that you can fight back. If you have an ounce of spine left, break out the tinfoil and start making hats. No, no, no, not for you, you oxygen-deprived fool, for your cat. Slap one of them suckers onto a furline and it'll cut off all group-mind brainwaves instantly. Oh, even then, it'll still try to play the cuteness card. Resist! Don't let your cat doff its tinfoil hat! Your future depends on it...

Sarah Boxer on Blogs

The latest New York Review of Books (Feb. 14, 2008) contains an article by Sarah Boxer on blogs, books on blogs, and the trouble with writing books on blogs. In her article, she asks the following questions about blogs: "Are they a new literary genre?Do they have their own conceits, forms and rules? Do they have an essence?"

She says some pretty interesting things about bloggers and blog writing:

Of course I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure that bloggers have fouler mouths, tougher hides, and cooler thesauruses than most of the people I've read in print.

The very tone of most blogs--reactive, punchy, conversational, knowing, and free-associative--is predicated on linkiness and infused with it.

Blogs are porous to the world of texts and facts and opinions on line.

Bloggers are golden when they're at the bottom of the heap, kicking up. Give them a salary, a book contract, or a press credential, though, and it just isn't the same.

Bloggers at their computers are Supermen in flight. They break the rules. They go into their virtual phone booths, put on their costumes, bring down their personal villains, and save the world.

The law of the blogosphere is Hobbesian: survival of the snarkiest.

Blog writing is id writing--grandiose, dreamy, private, free-associative, infantile, sexy, petty, dirty.

The article contains some good tips for getting famous: "One of the surest ways to hoist your blog to the top of the charts is to bring down a big-time politician or journalist." Sex, doesn't hurt either, apparently, and can "give your blog a lift".

I have prepared a small quiz for all of you (based on the Boxer article) to test your blogging knowledge. Don't cheat. Don't look up anything on Wikipedia. I know, I know -- telling a blogger not to cheat is like telling your cat not to jump on the counter while you're out.

Here's the six-question quiz. No prize this time, because there is no way to prove that you didn't cheat.

1. Define "link whore".
2. What does the Japanese blogging term, ishikoro, refer to?
3. What famous blogger uses the acronym, "SAHM"?
4. Who coined the word "Weblog"?
5. What's a "troll" in blogspeak?
6. What is "astroturfing"?

A blatant ploy to scam in all the kittyblog fans

As creators of chaos, fog, FUD and general mayhem, we are unsurpassed. As generators of capital, not so much. ESI: The Sock Puppet Movie is still 'in development'. Our Mumumelon venture, after a promising start, may not have performed up to expectations in the last quarter. Obviously, if this opus is gonna be our retirement fund, we need to start stepping up our hit counts.

So. People go gaga over the Cats of Parliament Hill. I personally cannot help but note (in an entirely academic way, of course) that when Zoom posts pix of Duncan Donut the Glorious Dogcat (Dogcat?! Sacrilege!) her comment threads go way, way up.

It's worth a try. Ahem. Let me introduce you to Bucky B. Katt. No, not that famous Bucky - not yet - but our very own bundle of kittyblog joy. Behold his awesome cuteness. Feel yourself being sucked deep into his blue, blue eyes. Giggle at his cute li'l pink tongue. Come back to this page again and again, to ooh and aah over his cuddlicious photo. (Ignore the fact that he is, like his namesake, pretty much an irredeemable jerk to all that he encounters.)

Mmmmm, Jerk. Although I see him more likely to be served with zesty lemongrass, coconut milk, green chilis and fermented fish sauce. Oh, nertz. I'm not very good at this kittyblog thing yet, am I? And if I ate him, I'd only be hungry all over again in another hour, right? It's a problem with all those Asian menu items...

Word Cop: in a rebellious or bold, resistant manner?

Or did you mean "definitely"?

* There was defiantly no Cheez Whiz sauce here

* This is defiantly one of my favorite climbs on this side of the valley

* i am only 14 and yet i defiantly want to join the British Army should i keep my options open? I am an intelligent person but want to join the army....

* But the setting is defiantly very nice. High ceilings and gold detailing defiantly makes you feel like you’re in someplace important. However, our server was defiantly not on her game that night. I mean the service was fine but it was ...

* Patrons were either 20 or 92 there was not much of a happy medium so we were defiantly in the minority.

* Anyway I'm defiantly falling way off topic and will find myself with my book again.

* So far I have high expectations for Angels & Airwaves future albums and if you have yet to listen to either album I would defiantly suggest you give them a listen.

* Mom got Paul and I a vacuum cleaner cause the only carpet we have is the upstairs bedroom and it defiantly needs to be cleaned.

* Its defiantly a wierd feeling. Friday marks 100 days till graduation. And I am defiantly going to the happy hour friday.

* ... that I had made the Dean’s List for the fall semester. I was so excited and I can defiantly say that this had to be a success in my life. My parents were so proud that I had made this accomplishment in my life. I was defiantly happy.

* In short I had a rather fantastic time, he tells me likewise, I don’t mind being friends with benefits, because, call me shallow, they were bloody good befits, it is agreed by both parties I should defiantly come visit again.

* She will defiantly appreciate this. You want to surprise her with little things when you can. Women love this type of thing even it is something as simple as flowers or candy from time to time. You can also give her a back rub at night ...

Advice from Audrey: Tuscan Resolution

More useful advice from our dear friend Audrey:

I was discussing my New Year's resolutions with Conch Shell earlier this year and she did not offer up her resolutions. In fact, she told me that she has decided to be unambitious this year.

Unlike me, she is not worrying about: getting the ESIs to meet at a place other than the Usual Spot, losing five pounds, finding a cheap fare to Rome, writing a screenplay, being a better daughter/sister, drinking more champagne, buying more flowers, doing more volunteer work, spending more time on patios, watching more episodes of Tom Green's House Tonight on the Comedy Network, or finding a cute boyfriend.

I thought that maybe I could help a reader to fulfill one of his/her New Year's resolutions. If one of your resolutions is to rent a villa in Tuscany, or purchase property in Italy, read on.

Renting a villa in Tuscany

Several years ago, friends and I rented a delightful villa near the hilltop town Castiglion Fiorentino, in Tuscany. Castiglion Fiorentino is extremely well-located; it is on the rail-line between Rome (2.5 hours) and Florence (1 hour). The next town (but not on the rail-line) is Cortona, the setting of "Under the Tuscan Sun".

The villa was one of five that have been created from the restoration of an ancient country house and outbuildings. The property is exactly what you would wish for: there is a castle at the top of the hill, an olive grove hugs the hillside, grape vines line the laneway, there is a beautifully maintained swimming pool, there are lemon trees in pots, and there is a cute little dog that will sit at your feet if you beg him to!

We stayed in the largest villa, Giogo, and opted for the 3 bedroom/3 bathroom option. We also viewed the smallest villa, Tino, and loved it. The owners rent out late-model cars but you can walk to the train station, the grocery store, and several wineries. The grocery store was just like an Italian Loblaws! It had everything, including wine, fresh bread, fresh pasta, prepared deli food, and wonderful cheeses.

Purchasing a property in Italy

In 2007, the IO and I were in Italy and viewed some properties. Before leaving home, we spent many hours searching for property on-line, primarily at the following sites:

• keyitaly.com
• remax.it
• lalocandina.it
• italianrealestates.com
• sunshineestates.net
  
• property.livinginitaly.co.uk
• immobiliarelaudani.com

One of the agents took us to a medieval hilltop town north of Perugia, in Umbria near the border with Tuscany, where a variety of 1 and 2-bedroom apartments were for sale. These properties had recently been renovated and lacked only finishing touches. Although the location did not suit us, we thought that the properties were delightful and very affordable (starting at 80,000 euros ($120,000)).

Property for sale in Perugia