Regarding Emergency Meetings

1. Something Disturbing at the Usual Spot

I saw something disturbing at the usual spot. First, in the north booth, two people were talking with a laptop computer on the table. It was closed, but out of its case, so they must have used it for something. Perhaps viewing architectural drawings or some other creative project, I thought.

But later, at two tables on the north wall there was a group of four young men who would have looked in place at the tavern the Hobbits stopped at the night after they left the Shire. These young men had two open laptops and were clearly using them to access the internet.

"Are they instant messaging each other?" asked my companion.

"I hope not," I replied. Just then, Lisa came by with my Pepsi. "Lisa, are those guys on the internet."

"Yeah," she said, "somehow you can get it here."

"But you guys aren't providing it, right?"

"Oh, no!" She looked horrified at the idea.

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2. Convenor Responsibility

From the Berkun Blog:

If you called the meeting, do your %*?@?! job. Everyone claims they know about facilitation, but few do it. If you called the meeting, it’s your job to

1. Get there on time;
2. Write a bullet list agenda on the wall;
3. Manage the conversation so no one hogs the floor and the right people get a voice at the right time; and
4. Make sure side issues get delegated out of the room.

If you don’t do all 4, any meeting problems are your fault.

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3. Emergency Meeting

I would suggest an emergency meeting to discuss these issues, but I'm not sure Lisa would appreciate me writing on the wall and we all know how close I am to getting barred all the time.

Finding a New Muse

It's clear that I'm not cutting it as the Stand-in Muse. I've done what I could, but clearly it's not working out. The Intimacy Challenge was a failure. My content lately has been as dull as dishwater. The pressure of being the stand-in muse has really been too much for me.
It seems the likelihood of the 5th Muse's return is slim to none.
I have a few suggestions of people and ideas for the new Muse position:
1) Conch Shell: Many have complained that she hasn't pulled her weight on this metablog. Maybe she has been waiting for the moment to be asked to be the New Muse.
2) Megan: This lovely young woman knows how to get intimate -- if intimacy is what you want.
3) Heather Armstrong: She's famous, so maybe we'd become famous by association.
4) A male blogger: Maybe our focus on finding a female muse has blinded us to some of the Ottawa, postmodern boy bloggers out there who are working through relationship issues, intimacy, and life's struggles.

Hiphuggers

Walking out of the Chateau Laurier gymnasium the other day after a rather vigorous workout with the medicine ball, I spied a couple of young women holding signs.

They read: Free Hugs.

Naturally, I scurried briskly in the other direction, fearing these ladies to be intoxicated.

A short time later, I stumbled across a most interesting website devoted to this vexing phenomenon, The Free Hugs Campaign.

It seems things began when a disheartened young man, returning home from vacation to Sydney, Australia, was so starved for attention he sought the embrace of strangers in the street.

The authorities have now seen fit to ban the movement. But that hasn't stopped the campaigners from recruiting new jihugists.

Actually, it all reminds me of the whimsical days of my youth, as I could often be found strolling around the Kent State University campus placing daisies in the barrels of the guns clutched by National Guardsmen.

Ah, but that was a more innocent time.

Bl@gging @ggie

Aggie has hung out a new 'default muse' shingle over on her blog with a new colour scheme evocative of certain, ummm, other muses of our acquaintance, and with a new tag line that pretty much sums it up.

Is it wise to invite, indeed flaunt, such a blatant comparison? I mean, I prob'ly shouldn't be biting the ankle of the hand that's throwin' me a bone here, but hey, I'm a very badly domesticated puppy and I just need to draw up a list or two to straighten out a few things in my own dim doggie mind:

Muse:

• Lives downtown
• Dysfunctional relationship(s)
• Cringeworthy revelatory details
  
• It's all about her

Aggie:

• Lives downtown
  
• Dysfunctional automobile
• Cringeworthy bandages all over her face
• It's all about her

Okay. Not really sure what all of this ecologically-driven (Hah! Good one!) angst over a car is about, since I pretty much walk wherever I go, but maybe we can work with this....

Hey, Aggie! Start combing your bandaids! It's Cecil B. DeMille's third cousin's little sister's former best friend on the blower! Ya might hafta get ready for your close-up!

Emergency Meeting Minutes: February 16th

Place: Usual Spot

In Attendance: 4th Dwarf, Aggie, Conch Shell, Coyote, Independent Observer (in order of arrival ) Guests: Painted Stick, Pandora

The meeting begins with Pandora being briefed on current crisis. Pandora is shocked to learn[redacted]

Conch Shell asserts that the baby cartoon was inappropriate, commenting that the baby was sexualized in the cartoon. Other group members inform CS that they didn't see that at all, and that perhaps that is her own little twisted mind at work.

[Redacted]

Pandora points out that we can't always control how people will respond.

[Redacted]

4th Dwarf uncharacteristically orders a grog.

[Redacted]

Painted Stick asks: "Is the meeting over yet?" then corrects himself: "I mean, how's the meeting going?"

Conch Shell takes minutes while Aggie eats her burger. 4th Dwarf is uneasy about this.

Painted Stick starts talking about his G-string, and the discussion moves to sex.

4th Dwarf reasserts that there was no infraction, while Coyote, Aggie and CS all think [redacted]

Painted Stick says - "We've had a full discussion. Let's vote and move on."

4th Dwarf: "We haven't even gotten to the items of business yet."

The IO (a late arrival) is asked his opinion. He states that the cartoon was "borderline".

4th Dwarf argues that the Baby N cartoon was mentioned in the minutes and that no one had a problem with that.

Aggie complains of a headache. Coyote tells her that someone on CSI had a headache for a week and it turned out she had been shot. Then, a side-discussion broke out about which is better CSI-NY or CSI Miami. CS prefers Miami because of the prettier colours. Coyote prefers CSI-NY and likes all the darkness with lots of blue overtones.

Back to the issue at hand.

Conch Shell: We got lax. Instead of finger-pointing, we are all to blame.

Coyote: Anarchy is what we've been all about since the beginning.

Aggie: Do we need some kind of disciplinary mechanism in place so that this won't happen in the future?

Conch Shell points out that only the blogger-men in the group have Administrative powers: the power to delete postings and comments.

Pandora suggests making a donation to a baby-related cause, like CHEO. We all agree that this would be a proper penance.

It is agreed that Conch Shell and Aggie be given Administrative powers to rectify the gender imbalance, and to prevent future violations.

IO says he likes the new look of the blog, but that topic tags need to be on the sidebar.

The discussion moves to John Baird's hair. Coyote thinks he's hiding a receding hairline. CS says his look is appropriate for the Conservative party.

(CS posts these minutes on Aggie's behalf, as Aggie has become a luddite in the new post-bega blog world.)