Venue: The Usual SpotPresent: Agatha, The Chair, Coyote, Fourth Dwarf, The Independent Observer (guest: Audrey)
Late with no excuse: Conch Shell (guest: Painted Stick)
Emergency: The Usual
Minutes by: 4D
Opening
Chair: Someone should do a cartoon series for the blog - The Adventures of Bored Baby "N".
4D: [pulls out index card, begins writing notes, does not draw picture of bored baby.]
[Redacted]
Agatha: I'm tired.
Coyote: So, I've been dealing with a person who sends ten emails to arrange a meeting, suggesting tentative times... I just want to know when the meeting is.
Agatha: Maybe she's ADD and could use an assistant. I've got an assistant now. She's great. We're doing a Clean Sweep of my office... She's totally non-judgmental, for instance she'll say things like "I'm feeling really good about this, how about you?"
[Redacted]
4D: [asks IO a prying personal question]
IO: [speaks for several minutes without actually answering 4D's question]
4D: Hmm, very interesting, but back to my question...
Agatha: Just a minute! [through gestures and inarticulate syllables Agatha expresses displeasure with 4D's persistence in questioning the IO. After a suggestion is made that she is once again avoiding intimacy, Agatha shares observations about recent interactions with a close relative.]
[Redacted]
The Phone Call
Agatha: Is it time to call Conch Shell?
IO: [Pulls out his Blackberry]
Coyote: Has anyone noticed these meetings are taking on a ritualistic character?
Agatha: [Rocking back and forth in a manner evocative of Dustin Hoffman's performance in Rainman] Really?
Chair: CS hasn't met her quota this month.
Agatha: Yesterday she told me that she now has more time.
IO: [finally manages to dial CS, leaves a stern message]... and here is what the other ESIs have to say about your absence....
Coyote, Chair, 4D, Agatha: [a chorus of booing and farting noises]
The Aborted Posting
[Redacted discussion of Agatha's aborted Muse on Elgin Street posting.]
Agatha: The lesson learned is "Don't blog while angry."
[Brief discussion of why Agatha was angry, 4D whines about the unfortunate loss of the brilliant comment he had left before Agatha deleted it all.]
Audrey: How about we have a party where the women wear dresses like that one with the polaroid photos?
The lads: [General agreement]
Agatha: [that look she gets when she is nowhere close to agreeing, is too polite to say so, but is not worried that one knows she disagrees.]
Conch shell and Painted Stick Arrive
Audrey: Hey, I went to Oz because of Aggie's recommendation... had the Asian bowl.... really liked it.
Aggie's New Car
Conch Shell: Aggie and I made a list of what she needs in her new car.
Agatha shares her list. The group quickly decides that her list is incomplete and that her new car should be completely pimped. Among the features called for:
- Purple lights on the underbody
- A popcorn maker
- A car phone - old fashioned, big honking thing
- Espresso machine
- Hairwashing sink
Singles > 36 and their Issues
Audrey: Single men over 36 have issues, let me tell you that.
4D: You mean those guys you dated in their 20s didn't have issues?
Audrey: Not like the ones over 36.
Agatha: What about women?
Audrey: I don't know, I don't have issues. Fourth Dwarf doesn't have issues.
Someone asks Audrey about bad sex.
Audrey: I think you can fix bad sex with men if you explain what good sex is.
Fourth Dwarf and the Chair have a side conversation in which they decide to try for new blog feature "Ask Audrey".
Having filled both sides of an index card, 4D concludes his minute taking.
Okay. She tried intimacy. It didn't work. At least not enough to get us talking about her all the time and analyzing her life. Putting cams in the sidebar, inventing cartoons, and all that.
