Emergency Meeting: What's going on here?

It is 6:52 a.m. I am up because my cat decided to come home at this hour. It's sad when your cat has a better social life than you do. But, that's another posting... I thought I'd take this early bird opportunity to give an update on what's going with the ESIs. I called an Emergency Meeting at the Usual Spot on Friday to discuss the ESI's failure to blog. While we did not take formal minutes, here is the gist of what I got from our meeting.

Present at the Meeting: Aggie, 4th Dwarf, Coyote, The Chair, Conch Shell, Harmony, Audrey, and Painted Stick. The IO informed us that he is "fighting something" and was unable to attend.

Reasons for non-blogging:The Chair had a health breakdown over the holidays -- a really really really bad cold. We suspect the IO is currently fighting that really really really bad cold.

Harmony has been busy performing with Painted Stick. She's also been tending to the sick, including one with a really really really bad cold.

Aggie, Coyote and 4th Dwarf suffered from their own special versions of some kind of holiday existential crisis. Aggie tried to remedy this with Christmas baking, but that failed miserably.

Conch Shell has time to show up for Emergency Meetings to drink, but has no time to blog. She continues to be busy with important world-saving stuff.

Audrey suggested we have a party to which each of us would bring a stranger. A stranger to the others, that is; not a complete, fucking stranger. But, the rule would be that we wouldn't be permitted to talk about our blog or blogging. We all agreed that this could be a useful exercise for us right now.

Other topics of discussion: How we hoped for a political sex scandal. Inappropriate pinching to determine body fat index.

The Usual Spot: There were complaints about the crowdedness, the body heat wafting off of the hoards, the crankiness of the staff. We agreed that more publogging needed to occur.

Sightings: the Goddess. Fortunately, we didn't have the usual argument over which of us she desires most: ("She wants me." "No, it's me, she wants...You see the way she smiles at me" etc., etc..) Lots of mojo flowing from the Goddess, as always.

Second sighting: the Crazy Woman. This is what broke up the meeting. Aggie, Coyote and 4th Dwarf fled. Coyote was the first to spot her, and was the first one out the door. We couldn't see his ass for dust.

Aggie's favourite band: Bob Marley and the Waiters

I have never been in a band. That would probably require at least a thimble full of musical ability. Too bad. Because, as the Bucky Awards understand, one of the best things about forming a group is choosing a name. Here's my shortlist of contenders, in case I suddenly find myself in a sonic collaboration:

(*) The Unhappy Campers
(*) Generation Zed
(*) The Frickin' Wallendas
(*) Johnny Resfellow and the Community Standards
(*) Blogworthy

Beijing punk rockers Brain Failure
Photo: www.covertbooking.com

Carbon Dating Service

From CBC Radio 3's Bucky Awards

Best new band name: Carbon Dating Service

Website: www.myspace.com/carbondatingservice
Download: Carbon Dating Service - 2006 Press Kit

Things that go click in the night

An acquaintance is grappling with a mystery. Her television frequently turns on by itself in the middle of the night. Prime theories to explain this odd phenomenon:

1) The TV was manufactured on a Monday
2) North Korea's Kim Jong Il is beaming electromagnetic waves at North America to mess with our minds and our home appliances
3) Gnomes
4) People are wandering around on the sidewalk with remote controls, randomly zapping away
5) The TV, unable to start a blog, has found another way of expressing itself

Publog Research: Café Paradiso

Based on fieldwork by the Independent Observer, Agatha, AODWF (Aggie's Off-Duty Waiter Friend), Coyote, and the Research Director, on 23 December 2006:

The Pluses (or things we'd rip off wholesale our spot)

• Garage door windows that can be opened onto the street in fine weather (They were closed when we were there...) ;
• Funky future-deco curved ceiling and wall details;
• Nifty light fixtures that looked like little Sputnik satellites, that 4th Dwarf would've liked a lot if he'd been there;
  
• A well-handled fusion menu (Butternut Squash Chili and Apricot and Chorizo Stuffed Chicken Supreme were sampled and judged excellent);
  
• A superior live jazz trio playing selections by Vince Guaraldi;
  
• Service that blended attentiveness and efficiency without becoming presumptuously chummy (We believe waiter-waitee relationships desirable, but best when cultivated over time);
  
• Enough beautiful/handsome/rich patrons to create an exclusive atmosphere.
  

The Minuses (or things we should avoid)

• No convenient watering dish for thirsty dogs at the entrance;
• A waiter who was shocked (Shocked!) to discover that the Paradiso in fact sold pitchers of draught beer -- although he did manage to unearth a clean pitcher and serve it up, once informed that this was the case;
• A decided lack of solo French fry or potato wedge items on the menu, although these could be had with main dishes. AODWF also noted the absence of an intriguingly exotic comestible he called 'deluxe poutine' (don't ask);
• Portion sizes that certain circumferentially-enhanced, low-altitude, high-attitude ESI members would have considered most disappointing, had they been in attendance, and;
• Atmosphere perhaps a little too upmarket and exclusive for ESIs and their usual circle.

These work against it being a regular hangout for our target market, although it's certainly a nice place to dress up for and visit occasionally. Assuming, of course, that you're not wearing permanent fur already.