Last Spring, I was kissed on the hand by three different men - a family friend, a taxi driver, and the doorman at a tavern all within a week of each other.
I was surprised by these unsolicited kisses, and I wondered if hand kissing was back in style. Why had no-one warned me?
I mentioned these incidents to the Word Wizard, who seems to know something about every topic. He quickly responded with questions, "Did you offer your hand to be kissed? Did they touch their lips to your hand?"
No, I had not offered my hand to be kissed, and in all three instances I was tricked into receiving the kiss. And, yes, all three had touched their slobbery lips to the back of my hand.
I have since become a little wiser about hand-kissing, and so, gentlemen, if you want to kiss my tiny tender nymph hand
- I must be the one who initiates the gesture by offering you my hand palm down;
- I must know you;
- You must be of equal or higher mythological standing than I am;
- You must slip your fingers under the palm of my hand and gently rest your thumb on my knuckles;
- You may either quietly air kiss the back of my proffered hand, or kiss your thumb;
- You must kneel at my feet as you kiss my hand to show that you are in awe of my charms, and
- be forewarned that, according to W.J. Bethancourt III, should you offer an unsolicited kiss I am in my right to eviscerate you on the spot!
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