May Day: The trial(s) of Mayor Larry

As a city pauses to either smell the scent of spring, or (depending on your kink) possibly the mayor, His Nibs will step down (temporarily, he truly believes...) at midnight tonight to deal with that pesky criminal matter pending before the courts. And I just wanna say that it is so unfortunate that others - you uninformed critics and naysayers! - cannot see him in the same optimistic light that he does. Because despite the repeated intrusion of actual, you know, reality, time after time he somehow manages to keep right on believin' in the essential rightness, goodness and smartness of Mayor Larry, to a point that some may call ummm, delusional. In this spirit, it seems like a good moment to pause and recall some of our favourite Larryisms:

• "Zero means Zero!" - Campaign promise to cut city taxes. And, umm, how did that go? Now an eponymous blog pointing out Our Beloved Leader's piddling, minor, utterly forgivable oopsies...
• " "I fell asleep on my boat in July drinking a beer and when I woke up I was the mayor of Ottawa." - That's okay, fella. At least a third of Ottawa voters seem to have been blacked out that entire time, too...
• "Quite frankly I believe with every fibre of my being that I'm innocent." - Right, gotcha. See intro, above... And after consulting (barely) overnight with an unspecified focus group whose opinions seemed to fly in the face of popular majority opinion, he said "overwhelming support" led him to cling to the job instead of bowing out after being charged...
• "I feel like a rock star!" - To media at Ontario Provincial Police HQ, where he was formally charged and printed, in:re that aforementioned pesky criminal matter...
• There is, naturally, no fifth quote...
• "No comment..." - The Mayor's hired spokes-thingy, after three companies that had been signed to build a light rail system slapped the city with $277 million worth of lawsuits. His Nibs had previously persuaded council that it could tear up the contract without major consequences...
• "Certainly I'd vote for myself..." - Larry announcing his intention to continue screwing up royally ummm, run for mayor again, in 2010 municipal elections. Maybe he went back to the same focus group he used to decide to stay in office, after he was charged in that aforementioned pesky criminal matter...?

Y'know, looking back over these quotes, I'm beginning to see that Hizzoner is in way over his custom-buffed head. Alone they might mean nothing, but there's obviously a pattern of half-recognized denial. Together, they form a highly public cry for help. Mayday, indeed...

Dolls and a Mayor

Cedric, meet my Peruvian dolls. They are over 45 years old, hand knit and stuffed with llama wool.

Knitters, click on the image to enlarge and take note of the incredible workmanship and attention to detail.

On a completely different note, I stood a few inches away from our Mayor today. He is definitely not prettier in person. Aggie asked me what he smells like...

On the llama

Sometimes the best way to get over one's fears is to confront them directly. Cedric's longstanding trepidation about llamas, not to mention alpacas, has led us to Lima, Peru.

That and the little gnome's love of salsa dancing, pisco sours and the general hustle and bustle of urban South America.

We have not yet spotted one of the four-legged woolly creatures that give Cedric the night sweats. But I have assured the small one, we most certainly soon will...

Your turn: Things that are OUT that I wish were IN...

Over at my blog, I've beaten the In and Out series like a dead horse. I thought I'd eke out just one more post, this time soliciting audience participation. I know XUP will be critical of the lameness of this. And, I know that Milan will question why we would wish things out to be in in the first place. I don't care. This is a contest, folks! Contestants are being asked to submit two things that are OUT that he/she wishes were IN. The winner will be chosen by an ESI sub-committee at a special Emergency Meeting. Hence, no ESI submissions will be considered. The criteria: originality, wit, charm.

The winner can choose one prize among the following items: 1) the winner can post a favourite recipe on our blog*;2) the winner can select a blog that he/she would like the ESI team to metablog for a week**; 3) the winner can select a blogging theme or issue for the ESIs for one week***.

*as long as it passes the ESI ethics committee
**as long as it passes the ESI ethics committee
***as long as it passes the ESI ethics committee

In and Out Revisited

"You're so in, and I'm so out!"

Aggie's brilliant In and Out posts reminded me of something a boy wrote in my year book ages ago.

Dear Woodsy,

When you're in, we're out.

See 'ya around,

(signed) Tall, Brawny Guy

For years I have been perplexed by what he meant. Was he being crude? Or, was he being dismissive? Maybe he saying I was cool and he was passé.

What do you think he meant?