Sunday

12 other Mayors with problems

Ontario

  • Carleton Place Mayor Paul Dulmage has had a private charge issued against him dismissed after a businessman said the mayor threatened to hunt him down like a dog.

USA

  • Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is hanging on for his political life after the revelation that, among 14,000 text messages between him and his chief of staff Christine Beatty, there was evidence of an extramarital affair between the pair -- evidence that contradicts his sworn statements in a whistleblower case brought by former police officers that ended in $9 million in damages against the city.
  • Former Leighton, Alabama, Mayor Robert Ricks was sentenced to 12 months probation following his September conviction on federal extortion charges.
  • The mayor of Berryville, Arkansas, Timothy Ray McKinney, was arrested and booked into the Carroll County Jail early Sunday morning; charged with speeding, driving while intoxicated, and possession of a controlled substance. He was released on bond early Sunday afternoon.
  • Alice, Texas Mayor Grace Saenz-Lopez resigned because of a custody dispute over a Shih Tzu named Puddles. Saenz-Lopez insists she didn't steal her neighbor's pooch.
  • Arlington, Oregon mayor Carmen Kontur-Gronquist who once stripped to her underwear and posed on a fire truck has been stripped of her office.
  • Bath, New Jersey Mayor David D. Mosey was charged with recklessly endangering another person, reckless driving, careless driving and other motor vehicle violations after it was reported he repeatedly crashed into another vehicle that drifted into his lane while the Mayor was on his way to take a stress test.
  • Police arrested the Mayor of Samson, Alabama, Clay Mchugh King, Friday after he allegedly confronted and stabbed a 44-year-old man he found with his wife.

Spain

  • Juan Millán, the Socialist Mayor of the small Málaga village of La Viñuela, faces a possible 18 months in prison in connection with three building licences, in a case where he is charged with perversion of the course of justice and also faces a 17 month ban from public office.
  • The former Mayor of the Málaga village of Cómpeta, the ex Partido Popular Mayor, Leovigildo López, has been banned from any public office position for the next seven years, in a sentence from criminal court No. 1 in the provincial capital which has found him guilty of planning crimes.
Republic of Kalmykia
  • Kalmykia's prosecutors have opened a criminal investigation into Rady Burulov, the mayor of the republic's capital, Elista, on allegations that his administration overpaid for goods purchased from a company owned by his parents.
United Kingdom
  • The mayor of Pembroke, Wales, Keith McNiffe is to appear in court accused of fraudulently claiming thousands of pounds in disability benefits while refereeing at football matches in west Wales.
Previously: Mayors with Swagger

Hot Bikini Babes - Emergency Meeting Minutes

Location / Date: Usual Spot, Friday March 21 2008
Members In Attendance (and on-time): 4th Dwarf, Coyote, Agatha, the Chair
Member arriving late in their usual passive-aggressive manner: Conch Shell
Member absent for semi-legitimate reasons: Independent Observer
Guests: Audrey, Harmony

Meeting began. First item of order: delegation of the taking of the minutes. Aggie nominated the Chair to take minutes. Seconded by Dwarfie. Reluctantly accepted by the Chair.

Before going into formalities, those present congratulated Coyote on surviving to see another annual milestone in Bytown’s less-than-hospitable urban setting for creative canines – Doug Thompson be damned. Beverages were raised. Yellow snow was made.

Item 2: Whither the Blog – Kitty Blogging

A point was raised regarding the prevalence of pussies felines in the blog of late. This has raised some concern for some of the members and regular readers of the blog. Some felt the ESIs were selling out to the popularity of cats in the blogosphere while others wanted more focus on politically incorrect Chinese food recipes. [Redacted] noted that she has cat allergies and couldn’t read such postings without her Epi-pin at hand. It was further noted that those wannabes down the road were going all porno on their parodies of this topic and it could marginalize our readership. It was agreed that we would poll the readership before implementing any censorship.

Item 3: Dwarfie’s Crushes – Cute or Creepy?

Dwarfie’s latest escapade in provoking potential restraining orders against the ESIs from Ottawa’s Blogtown Babe Community was discussed. A quick vote came down to a split decision on whether this is cute or creepy. “It’s not like I’m stalking!” said the Dwarf. Aggie shuddered. All agreed that we would let things continue as they are, but that [redacted] was in the best position to veto this behaviour.

Item 4a: Who is the CBC commenter with no sense of humour?

The Chair opined that it would be a shorter list if we asked the opposite question and subsequently threw out the name Alan Neal (just to see if he actually reads this blog). Others suggested [redacted]. Some clues suggest that it could be coming from subversive elements associated with the readership of Aggie’s blog. CSIS would be contacted for assistance.

Item 4b: Who is the 7th Heathen

All agreed it was most likely [redacted]. Our message to 7th Heathen: keep it up. We know who you are, and we know where you live.

Item 5: deferred until our special guest arrived

Item 6: Report from the Italian bureau

Audrey updated us on developments overseas. All is well as she and the IO manage furniture and decorating details. The Chair was impressed with their choice of furniture and recognized one of his relatives in the Ottoman section of the catalogue. 4D asked if the apartment had yet been “baptized, if you know what I mean ?” Aggie shuddered.

[in camera]

[out camera]

Item 7: How to bring down Mayor Lex Luthor and become famous in the process

Most agreed he doesn’t need anyone’s assistance on this front, as he and his staff were doing an admirable job on their own. [Redacted] mused whether we would be seeing a wind-tax or a “cloudy-with-a-chance-for-a-shower” tax in next year’s budget. Rehabilitating him was considered the better option to pursue. “It would be very zen-like,” said Aggie. “Everyone loves a redemption story,” said the Chair. The Chair then recounted a story about how his mother used to respond to obscene phone-callers in the days before call display. “Why are you doing this? You need help…” she’d tell them. Dwarfie laughed, albeit a little too knowingly by the Chair’s take.

The discussion moved onto strategies for elevating the Mayor’s cred. Dwarfie offered to continue to post about other bad public figures. Another idea included bringing down his opponents. Conch Shell was immediately tasked with creating a detailed list of Mayor Lex’s opponents and was subsequently going to make an ATI request to the Census Bureau.

Item 8: Making Woodsy a full fledged ESI

Aggie said it would be a good idea seeing that Woodsy has provided more content than some of the current ESI members. At this point, Conch Shell and the Chair looked at each other with shame, both knowing that such a passive-aggressive comment in their presence would only contribute to their further marginalization from the blog and countless hours of therapy as they fight their sense of self-worth in a publish-or-perish world of two-bit hacks... oh fuck-off!!!

Audrey, speaking on behalf of the non-member ESIs present, noted that perhaps Woodsy wasn’t the “cliquey” type personality that the Irregulars seem to emulate with such fervour. The ESIs present unanimously agreed that Woodsy was welcome to join their “clique”, allowing Woodsy to be part of a group that would snub all others and have dates for the prom and daddy’s car…

Item 9: Jesus

All made a nod to the big-J, on a day that wasn’t so good for him, even though it’s called Good Friday. The Chair noted that it was such an ironic use of adjectives in the Catholic Church that probably contributed to his lapse in faith and why he always gets the giggles when he visits the Stations of the Cross.

Item 10: Other business

Dwarfie shared some blog statistics with the members. His chart suggests that blogging about hair and/or Kady O’Malley seems to draw in the readers -- as does having provocative words in our posting titles. Aggie confessed she deliberately chose her title to up our hit count in her last posting. The Chair noted this phenomenon and duly changed the title for the Emergency Meeting minutes.

Someone raised the issue of the ESI position on Clinton vs. Obama. The ESIs did not take a political stand except to state that either would be welcome to do a guest blog. Details were going to be discussed with Zoom on setting up an eBay invite to candidates.

All other matters having been considered, the formal part of the meeting was adjourned with the arrival of Woodsy and the ESIs' special guest – Zoom.

Item 5: Special Presentation to Zoom

Zoom arrived and exclaimed, “So, you’re all real!" That said, all engaged in further discussion on the events of our times over a few cold beverages. I’m sure Zoom will give you all the details.

Thursday

Bad poetry and hot sex

I'm in Ottawa now, and am enjoying all the Mayor Larry stuff, I must say. But, really, seriously, how can we bring this guy down? I've put this on the agenda for the next ESI Emergency Meeting. Stay tuned.

In other news, one Ottawa blogger is not happy with the quality of men out there right now. It seems the choices are 1) sappy poetry, or 2) NSAHS (no-strings-attached-hot-sex). Hmmmm. I know which one I'd choose in a pinch... but, no matter!

I would like to reassure this blogger that things are going to shift soon. Spring brings change, which means relationship bust-ups, which equals (desperate) available or available-ish men. There still may be the bad poetry/hot sex offerings, but there may be some lads who at least know how to package themselves a bit better.

Monday

My New Blog Crush: Kady O'Malley

Sorry, Tiana, you're looking better than ever, but I have a new blogging crush. Kady O'Malley at Inside the Queensway has been blogging Parliament Hill for Macleans Magazine since last July. In the fall she began live-blogging committee meetings with her Blackberry.

I've been enjoying her postings, skimming through some of the longer blow-by-blow accounts, but enjoying her enthusiasm and amused view of proceedings.

But then a couple of weeks ago, she started doing video commentary with her phone-cam and uploading them to Youtube and I was moved to infatuation. How blown was my infatuation? Full.

Here she is in the Driveway of Power:


Another classic is "There's no good reason why this meeting is in camera."

[p.s. Have you noticed that "mainstream media" bloggers have awful blogs from the standpoint of sidebar content? No profile links, no "top posts", no linkrolls, no tag clouds, no photo albums?]

[p.p.s. If our anonymous CBC commenter the other day was Hallie Cotnam, I just want to say "sorry, I've moved on" to you also.]

[p.p.p.s. To the young lady I have plans with for Friday night, don't worry, we're still on. ]

Friday

Let's talk HAIR!

I just got my hair cut. I told the hair stylist, "I want something more MODERN". My hair stylist is about 18 years old, so I figured he is plugged into what is modern. In my mind, I was thinking Megan and foxification. I was hoping for the smokin' hot results that she achieved. I was delighted when my stylist began hacking off my hair and thinning it out. He even got the razor out at one point, which is always fun. He then applied some very expensive hair straightening product to my hair. Then, he carefully dried my hair and used a FLAT IRON (again, I was feeling excited at the similarity with the process involved in Megan's foxification project). I walked out of the salon $50 poorer, and with my hair clinging to my head like a wee helmet. When Dischevelled Man saw me, he tried to be supportive, but I could tell he wasn't feeling it. It didn't go over well when he said, "You've got a tiny little head, don't you, sweetie?". The next day, I washed and dried my new hair MYSELF, and teased it out, making it BIG. This is when I realized -- who am I kidding? I am an 80s chick. I need big hair. I am a big hair chick.
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