Going Down is Going Up

On July 29, the Ottawa Citizen reported that a shocked couple complained about three books they discovered on the Ottawa Public Libraries "on order" list. [Citizen Article]

It's not clear who the couple are nor whether they wanted their complaint to be publicized.

This means it is an open question: Are they misguided prudes who don't realize that calls for censorship increase readership and that librarians are freedom-of-speech, anti-book-banning zealots who will hear their complaint as a reason to order even more sex manuals? Or is this couple a pair of devious sex manual publicists?

Whoever they are, I hope they complain about my book when I finally get around to writing it. Even if they don't, I'm grateful to them for making me realize I need to drop my working title: the meaningful little book of life with Jesus.

Get out your library card and click these links to get on the reservation list:

• The Going Down Guide
• The Sex Instruction Manual : Essential Information and Techniques for Optimum Performance
• The anal sex positions guide : the best positions for easy, exciting, mind-blowing pleasure
• The little book on meaning : why we crave it, how we create it
• A Meaningful Life
• A spectator's guide to Jesus : an introduction to the man from Nazareth

12 Google Resolutions for 2009

Last year I resolved to be more creative and stop relying on Google for my artistic inspiration. That didn't work out; so this year I went to Google for a dozen fresh resolutions.

In 2009:

1. I won’t be 100 percent wrong
2. I won’t be out there to lie down for him
3. I won't spend all my R&D on a meaningless pet project that fails to appeal to anybody when I could have been making videogames the whole time
   
4. I won’t create more waste
5. I won't be signing up for this challenge again
6. I won’t buy yarn except on days that begin with S
7. I won’t be as involved with Parkville WILDFIRE as I have been previously
8. I won’t have a 360-degree role anymore
9. I won’t promote my articles bar Tweeting them once
10. I won't be voting for him no matter whom he's running against
11. I won't watch GH anymore
12. I won't be surprised