The canal skating experience

Whillikers.

If ya didn't know the secrets of finding a good time in this town, ya might think that in Ottawa, on a kinda lamely labelled provincial civic holiday in the middle of winter, there'd be nothing else to do but skate on the kinda worse-for-wear Rideau Canal. And that ya might be one of maybe a million-odd Ottawattamies to think the same thing.

Actually, upon reflection, ya might be perilously close to right about that...

Aphrodisiacly, Coyote*

If you knit a male friend a pair of tube socks and only have time to finish one before the gift exchange moment, don't wrap up the one sock on its own. Or, you will likely get asked, How did you know my size?, and be reminded about your naive faux pas for years to come.

Also, don't give a male friend a personal massager. Honestly, no matter how you explain that you innocently bought it for his sore muscles (being that he is a labourer), he will tell all his friends that you gave him a vibrator.

And, if wanting to make Coyote happy you give him a bag of granola with dark chocolate in it, be certain to look at the label carefully. Or, he will laugh out loud and say something like, So why exactly are you giving me this granola?



*And, that will be his salutation next time he sends you an email.