Crittercizing design

Being who -- and what -- I am, I'm a huge fan of lurking alongside roads at night, so that when headlights reflect the red glare from my baby-yellows, it jolts the crap outta drivers. It's a coyote thing. It amuses me.

But last night, restless 'round three or so, I was rudely aware of the rather astounding number of unwanted and unasked-for little electrical eyes floating in the once-pristine dark of my den -- smoke detector blinking every 30 seconds, power strips, clock, CD player, DVD player, VCR, amps, tuners, modems, RF converters, cell phone charger, cordless phone, answering device, microwave oven, what-have-you. (I'm a surprisingly plugged-in coyote...)

Each of these indoor light pollutants, singly, is egregious enough. In concert, they turn the joint into a red/green/yellow/blue Christmas tree. I thoroughly resent the clueless electronics components makers, engineers and industrial designers who perpetrate this. Light emitting diodes and backlit liquid crystal displays have become dirt cheap -- a penny a pop. So product designers all plonk these things unthinkingly onto their gimcracks, some merely to let me know the damned thing is plugged in. (Of course it is. I plugged it, and don't expect the f*ing plug to fall outta the wall anytime soon.)

Costs 'em squat, and they can call it a 'feature'. A pointless one, resulting in one more selling point to list on the box, when I'd actually pay extra for its removal. Feature this, boneheads: one irritating little light to 'inform' me a thing is plugged in, and yet another to 'confirm' that it's actually turned on, when I know that already too, ain't a feature, it is crappy industrial design. And I have black electrical tape that trumps your stupidity. And makes your ugly 'design' even uglier, but so what?.

I am an aesthetical coyote. I just figure little glowing eyes in the dark are a privilege to be reserved for animate (and animistic) critters. Thank you very much. You may now return to more blogworthy creepy videos of little girls being harrassed about breakfast.

(Image: Environmental Science Program, Dedman College, Southern Methodist University)