Suppose one day I finish the revolutionary new dating paradigm.
What would you like me to study next?
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Sunday
Saturday
Overtaxed: coyote's late post
When I was a younger, dumber doggy, I mistakenly signed up for a Social Insurance Number.Imagine my complete disappointment when I found that I'd misheard the pitch (an old inner-ear problem, exacerbated by an unfortunate one-track mind...) and realized that I now had to deal with tax returns rather than cat returns.
Imagine my further chagrin when I found out that SINs indeed condemn you to Hell. In Revenue Canada's eyes, once you're in, you fry forever. No matter if you're a semimythical coyote with no visible means of support barring fast paws and a larcenous soul. One youthful moment of misguided drooliness dooms you to file annual tax forms in perpetuity.
I want to make it clear that I have no objection to income taxes themselves. (This places me firmly in the minority back my old Alberta stomping grounds. I digress.) But aside from the fact that I don't actually pay them, I believe the social safety net and other services that they finance make this a far better country than the alternative.
No, it's the diabolical forms. Every year, those twisted <redacteds> at Revenue Canada change them. The net result is always pretty much the same, but those annual new and ummm, interesting, calculation methods to arrive there, drive me freakin' crazy.
No hackneyed comments, please, about what a short trip that is. I shall nap now. Awaken me in refund season.
Wednesday
Good habits
This was passed to me by a friend:Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances & Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and were sightseeing on a Tuesday in July.
It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.
Patty had recently added special legs to her barstools, which were the talk of the fashionable eastside neighbourhood. All five nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the place through the front door.
They, too, came for a cold drink and were scandalized by what they saw.
Tuesday
A Woody for You
Dear Zoom and GC,
The first one of you to contact me and offer me a bribe gets to know the secret location of this temporarily parked* Woody.
The first one of you to contact me and offer me a bribe gets to know the secret location of this temporarily parked* Woody.
Monday
Emergency Meeting Minutes, April 7, 2009
Emergency Meeting Minutes, April 7th, 7:30 p.m. Usual Spot
In attendance: Aggie, Woodsy, IO, Coyote
Absent: Conch Shell (occupied); the Chair (occupied); 4th Dwarf (down with the bubonic plague)
Aggie arrives first, on time. No one is there. She calls 4th Dwarf, but he is so ill, he cannot respond. Woodsy struts in. The IO saunters in, followed by Coyote, sporting a new jacket he is really proud of.
The conversation begins with sock monkeys. Woodsy discusses her plans to go on a date with the sock monkey workshop lady who is apparently delightful.
Aggie brings order to the meeting and directs the group to the agenda and issues of blogging. Aggie first makes it all about her and talks about the challenges of maintaining 3 blogs. The IO doesn’t seem to know about Aggie’s new crafting blog and asks “How is this different from Aggie’s blog?” Aggie takes offense to the question and gets all insecure and demands encouragement, because, after all, she is doing WAY more than some other team members. Things get negative, and then positive again when people acknowledge the strengths and qualities of team members. Aggie asks team members to offer one-word for each absent team member:
4th Dwarf: “bossy” (Coyote), “insouciant (the IO), “cutting edge” (Aggie, who realizing that that was two words, reduces it to “cutting”, "REDACTED" (Woodsy).
Conch Shell: “salty” (Coyote), “engaging” (IO), “(delightfully) complex” (Aggie), "REDACTED" (Woodsy).
The Chair: “masculine” (Woodsy), “meshy” (Aggie), “overstuffed” (Coyote), “indestructible” (IO).
Then, the conversation moves to the Fifth Muse, who some still view as the “absent” team member.
Woodsy: “unknown”
Aggie: “enigmatic”
IO: “Is she still reading us?”
Coyote: “fierce”
Aggie asks Coyote if he is flirting with the 5M with this “fierce” comment, to which he answers, “always”.
The real question on the agenda, though is “why so few Emergency meetings?” The IO complains that some ESI members have gone all domestic. Aggie responds badly to this. Others offer other one-word explanations: “busy” “full” “adrift” “fragmented”. A few complaints are made about the Usual Spot, but the group is ultimately unable to come to agreement on the reason so few meetings have been happening.
Woodsy and Aggie take a time out.
The question of the Emergency meetings gets abandoned and there is a creative burst of energy and blog ideas:
1) ESI Anniversary Celebrations which includes a banner change
2) Best of ESIs series
3) Research assignments
4) Viable plans for the economic disaster
5) Never released “backchannel emails”
6) ESI gala at the Usual Spot.
7) a garden party
8) a garden gnome party
9) stealing good ideas from other blogs
10) more “breaking news”
Finally, there is a motion to hang 4th Dwarf out to dry. Woodsy seconds. Then, a motion to bring Conch Shell and the Chair together at the Usual Spot for a private shaming session. Coyote seconds that emotion.
In attendance: Aggie, Woodsy, IO, Coyote
Absent: Conch Shell (occupied); the Chair (occupied); 4th Dwarf (down with the bubonic plague)
Aggie arrives first, on time. No one is there. She calls 4th Dwarf, but he is so ill, he cannot respond. Woodsy struts in. The IO saunters in, followed by Coyote, sporting a new jacket he is really proud of.
The conversation begins with sock monkeys. Woodsy discusses her plans to go on a date with the sock monkey workshop lady who is apparently delightful.
Aggie brings order to the meeting and directs the group to the agenda and issues of blogging. Aggie first makes it all about her and talks about the challenges of maintaining 3 blogs. The IO doesn’t seem to know about Aggie’s new crafting blog and asks “How is this different from Aggie’s blog?” Aggie takes offense to the question and gets all insecure and demands encouragement, because, after all, she is doing WAY more than some other team members. Things get negative, and then positive again when people acknowledge the strengths and qualities of team members. Aggie asks team members to offer one-word for each absent team member:
4th Dwarf: “bossy” (Coyote), “insouciant (the IO), “cutting edge” (Aggie, who realizing that that was two words, reduces it to “cutting”, "REDACTED" (Woodsy).
Conch Shell: “salty” (Coyote), “engaging” (IO), “(delightfully) complex” (Aggie), "REDACTED" (Woodsy).
The Chair: “masculine” (Woodsy), “meshy” (Aggie), “overstuffed” (Coyote), “indestructible” (IO).
Then, the conversation moves to the Fifth Muse, who some still view as the “absent” team member.
Woodsy: “unknown”
Aggie: “enigmatic”
IO: “Is she still reading us?”
Coyote: “fierce”
Aggie asks Coyote if he is flirting with the 5M with this “fierce” comment, to which he answers, “always”.
The real question on the agenda, though is “why so few Emergency meetings?” The IO complains that some ESI members have gone all domestic. Aggie responds badly to this. Others offer other one-word explanations: “busy” “full” “adrift” “fragmented”. A few complaints are made about the Usual Spot, but the group is ultimately unable to come to agreement on the reason so few meetings have been happening.
Woodsy and Aggie take a time out.
The question of the Emergency meetings gets abandoned and there is a creative burst of energy and blog ideas:
1) ESI Anniversary Celebrations which includes a banner change
2) Best of ESIs series
3) Research assignments
4) Viable plans for the economic disaster
5) Never released “backchannel emails”
6) ESI gala at the Usual Spot.
7) a garden party
8) a garden gnome party
9) stealing good ideas from other blogs
10) more “breaking news”
Finally, there is a motion to hang 4th Dwarf out to dry. Woodsy seconds. Then, a motion to bring Conch Shell and the Chair together at the Usual Spot for a private shaming session. Coyote seconds that emotion.
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