Monday

RNDP 17: Relevant Research

Some of you singles who have been following the ongoing quest for an RNDP might be trying to decide whether to attend one of the upcoming Speed Dating soirees at the Mooney's Bay Bistro.

I don't want to tell you one way or the other, but I will share with you information I've received through the internet tubes that may help you make up your mind.

The Mooney's Bay Bistro is practically in Nepean. However, you can get there on the #87. I suspect eating is discouraged during the actual speed dating, but the Bistro has good reviews for their food, including compliments on the coffee. [Reviews 1, 2] However, these reviewers may be the type of people who line up for Tim Horton's most mornings. (In other words, conditioned to accept mediocrity.) If you do go early and order food, skip the Caesar salad. Not just because it got a bad review.

Histocompatibility and how they smell: Unless you're on the birth control pill, you need to smell your dates and they need to smell you. The Bistro won't be as overpowering as an Indian Restaurant, but you'll be sitting across a table from them and there will be plenty of Italian food aromas in the air. This means you're going to have find a reason to lean towards them so you can smell them and they can smell you. The obvious way to do this would be to whisper one of your questions or answers. "What are your hobbies?" might not be a good question to do this with. But "what do you think of speed dating?" might be a good one.

It's about the looks: You might feel you need to establish whether they are smart, funny, well-paid and share your views on a variety of critical issues. You might also be fooling yourself and you just need to look at them.

They Don't Need to Know About You: While more frequent exposure to a person may cause others to like that person more, knowing more about the person may reduce the affection. In your questioning, you could use this principle to compensate for your natural biases. If you find you like too many people, learn as much as you can about your dates. If you rarely like your dates, either do more of the talking, or get them to whisper to you about what they've learned about the others they've met that evening. This will reinforce for them the things they've learned that have turned them off, and then you can share the information with your subsequent dates, for example: "I understand #6 worked in a mortuary as a teenager".

You don't know what you want: It seems we humans are terrible at predicting what will make us happy. This means that your quest for a partner who is trained in massage therapy, wants a terrier, voraciously reads mystery novels, and wants to take tango lessons could be misguided. It also means that you are likely to be influenced by the mood you've brought to the speed dating. If you are tense, embarrassed and fearing rejection, you may be completely unable to predict finding happy times with any of your dates.

Maybe it really is about the sex: It seems sexual cues can influence a person’s relationship behaviors. It might be that in messing around with another person, you'll not only find out if you have a chance at a good sex life if you stay together, but you might improve the chance of a relationship happening because the sex might lead to love. It's probably difficult to mess around at the Mooney's Bay Bistro, but even subliminally bringing up sex could help you get somewhere.

In Conclusion: We're not saying speed dating is the answer. If you try it, or if you have tried it, we'd love to hear about it.




Sunday

Newsflash: Harmony is no longer blogging

Harmony's Singing in the Shower blog is no longer. I was about to comment on her latest posting -- basically to tell her that she's hot -- when I was shocked to discover that the blog was no longer there. I emailed her immediately, and here is her email response:

From: Harmony
To: Aggie
Sent: October 18, midnight

Subject: Re: Where the hell is your blog?

Thanks for noticing!

I deleted it.

Various reasons, none important, but I was about done with it, as I was with my cell phone about 6 months ago...

I'm now Facebook free, cell-free, blog-free, and if i had my druthers, internet-free..

---------------------------------------------------
I mean, did she think about maybe taking a little break? Or, maybe doing a little non-blogging experiment? I don't know anyone who has deleted her blog....Ok, maybe just one...
Anyway, I have offered to blog about her non-blogging, and she seems ok with this idea. I'm happy for her. She's free now. I'm still shackled and chained.

Friday

When in doubt, rearrange the deck chairs

Thank Dog! One election's done with. We can get closer to what passes for normal around here. And what should we do first? Support His Nibs, I think. Ooh, but where to start? So much density, so little gravitas.

Our esteemed mayor this week - the week that the city fired a mittful of its top managers in the name of economy in hard times - announced he wanted to hire a private company to rationalize Ottawa's street furniture. With loadsa advertising plastered on it. Because the current stuff just looks so darn ugly. He was obviously stepping from strength to strength, building on the success of last week's Ottawa Life Magazine hagiography ummm, profile. The one that said that city administration under Ottawa's former mayor, Bob Chiarelli, was 'marred by scandal'.

Now that's spin...!

Naturally, bein' a sensitive aesthete myself, I heartily approve of the impulse behind this pronouncement. (I'm pretty sure it was impulsive.) I mean, we don't have anything else to deal with, do we? The economy's in great shape, our mayor hasn't been convicted of anything, and those nice new CFL franchise owners want to take that ugly, unpopular, useless Lansdowne Park off of the city's hands and turn it into something the city can really be proud of. For a small consideration from the city. Ka-chiinnngggg!

Obviously we need, very badly, to talk about street furniture. Right now. Yup. And since the Irregulars are well acquainted with one or two pieces of anthropomorphized furniture, we herewith offer our expertise in aid of this important issue. For a small consideration from the city. Ka-chiinnngggg!

Tank Top Tuesday on Friday



...because Woodsy's popular tank tops get major Google action, I thought I'd shamelessly exploit the situation ummm, post an homage. Yeah. That's it.

Thursday

Bong Thursday

"They'll stone you when you're at the breakfast table
They'll stone you when you are young and able
They'll stone you when you're trying to make a buck
They'll stone you and then they'll say good luck
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned" (Bob Dylan)

This song used to be my ring tone, but I got rid of it when I was given more responsibility at work. I wouldn't call myself a stoner, but I have to say getting stoned is not the worst thing you could do during these trying times.

I also recommend the following activities to make yourself feel better:

1) do at least one rocker jump a day.
2) do art.
3) get a pet.
4) make this dessert right now- Cut up a pillsbury doughboy tube into pieces and place them at the bottom of a small loaf pan. Cut up some apples and throw them on top. Sprinkle some cinnamon on there. Throw some brown sugar on top. Pour a cup of heavy cream on top of the whole thing. Put it in the oven for about 40 minutes.
5) There is no fifth thing.
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