Cat-ered lunch

I'm not sure what it was that tipped Aggie off. Coulda been the sudden manic red gleam in my yellow eyes. Coulda been the unseemly fountains of drool. Coulda been the not-sotto-voce-enough, "Oh yeah, you betcha I'll take care if it for you. . . !" Or maybe she knows me a touch too well from previous experience.

But after she asked me to tend to her sizeable cat for her while she's off at her family reunion, she eyed me narrowly and mentioned that if said sizeable cat disappeared in her absence, certain coyotes would suffer. Greatly.

Damn. "What possible good is a sizeable cat that one cannot eat?" I asked myself.

Since then, though, the cat and I have discovered unspoken mutual interests in Dame Agatha's back yard. 'Unspoken' because cats and dogs do not really speak with each other much. . . it's kinda genetic.

Full detente is a way off -- I interpret my agreement with with Aggie to mean that all bets are null & void after she returns, 'specially since I felt it was made under unseemly duress. And crossed my toes whilst she extracted certain promises from me. But meantime, the cat and I have called a temporary cease-fire in order to pursue the kinda lunch we can both appreciate. And I hafta say that teamwork when you're chasin' hot squirrel sandwiches on the hoof can be a good thing...

For whom the Bell tolls

My cell phone conked out in the middle of a conversation today. No problem, I thought: I will use the nearby pay phone.

I inserted a quarter. The phone display told me I had a credit of 25 cents, and requested another 25 cents.

Yes, folks, it now costs 50 freakin' cents to make a pay phone call!

I understand that phone technology is still in its infancy, having only been around for a century. And that Bell Canada is a small startup with poor cash flow. And that people are always willing to shell out more for basic services because, hey, we like doing that.

But this is ridiculous. Yeah, everyone has a cell phone, yada, yada .... no, wait, not everyone does have a cell phone. And the people who don't probably don't because they can't afford one.

So how does Bell make life easier for these poor folks? By dialling up a 100 per cent increase.

Talk about a disconnect.

More than your line is dead

Message left on Chair's answering machine:

Hi, it's Mom…I tried to phone the cable company, but you know what, I think I’m gonna have to get you to do it for me because they keep saying things like "you pressed the wrong button"…I don’t understand what’s going on…and I tried and tried…and all I got was something like a zombie that was coming on…there was nobody there and they kept saying you have to do this and you have to do that…and I kept trying and I couldn’t get a person on the phone…so I’m going to need your help.

Even New Yorkers Have Trouble with the New Labels

It's Too Hard Pretending to Be Who I Already Am

Metrosexual: Have you gone to that hair salon I told you about?

Scruffy artist: I walked by...

Metrosexual: It's beautiful.

Scruffy artist: I can't go in. It's too hipster.

Metrosexual: No! It's anti-hipster.

Scruffy artist: Well, I can't do the cultural math.

via Overheard in New York, Jun 4, 2007

PuBlog: Audrey and the mini-caribou burgers

After many weeks of hockey watching in local bars and living rooms, it was a shock to attend the garden party at Stornoway hosted by the Leader of the Opposition, the Hon. Stéphane Dion, and his wife, Janine Krieber. No one talked about hockey! I didn't know everyone! I didn't have to bring beer!

It was exciting to sample the various canapés on offer. I ate:

· Smoked arctic char with mascarpone in a fennel dusted crepe (Nunavut)
· Caribou burgers (Northwest Territories)
· Wheatberry salad with lime and coriander (Saskatchewan)
· Creamy lobster bisque (New Brunswick)
· Lowbush cranberry brulées (Yukon)
· Rumballs, featuring Screech (Newfoundland and Labrador)
· "Sugar" pie, with wild blueberry compote (Quebec)

I did not eat:
· Tortilla chips and salsa
· Salt and vinegar potato chips
· Hickory Sticks
· Cookies
· Hamburgers
· French fries
· Pizza

My favourite canapé was, of course, the mini-caribou burgers. I'd told everyone that I hoped there would be mini-burgers there, and I was not disappointed - the burgers were fantastic.

Photo: Audrey / Hand modelling: The IO