Get Yourself on TV

Say, have you been reading this blog for a couple of weeks and wondering why OttawaStart said we were essential reading? It is because every now and then we give you something that you didn't even know you needed and wanted. Like this post.

Did you know that you can get on reality TV right here in Ottawa? You can. Dust off the camcorder, set up the tripod and start rolling your audition tape.

Knight Enterprises is advertising for articulate extroverts:

Are you a chef, designer, funny-man or just all around fantastic person? We are always on the lookout for articulate extroverts with a passion for what they do, if this is you then let us know & you could become the new face of lifestyle television!

Knight produces or has produced:

• Cook Like A Chef
• License to Grill
• This Food That Wine
• Road Grill
• The Great Canadian Food Show
• Junk Brothers

Mountain Road specializes in home design shows and they are looking for larger than life personalities:

• Real Estate Rookies - people taking the real estate licensing courses or who are recently licensed real estate agents
• All or Nothing - home owners with no budget for a makeover
• Sheltered - a native Canadian carpenter able to travel to Africa and South America
• The Building Adventures of "Your Names Here" - two people (including at least one woman) who have decided to build a house or cottage together
• Divide and Design - 2 interior designers who have been through divorce (with each other) to help others going through divorce with their new home design challenges

GAPC Entertainment isn't specifically advertising for reality talent, but they have some shows "in development" that might need your skills. What would it hurt to send them a link to your audition tape on Youtube?

• Car Crusaders - 13 x 1/2 hours unscripted drama series
• Shop Therapy - 13 x 1/2 hour lifestyle series
• Mesmerized - A 13 x 1/2 hour make over series

Insight Productions is not Ottawa based, but they did shoot season 2 of Project Runway Canada here and they are now looking for "real Canadian women" aged 19 and over who reside in Ontario to appear in:

• How to Look Good Naked Canada

RNDP 22: Could Television be the Answer?

Pearl Jam fan, Raino, blogged a list of pick-up lines this week. The lines do not yet appear to have been field-tested, but they show promise. Here are several:

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

Like I said, they show promise. But, at more than 2 years old, they're not new, and no matter how effective, potentially offensive pickup lines are not revolutionary. So while they could be a component of the Revolutionary New Dating Paradigm (RNDP), they're not going to be the foundation.

This may not be the case for the recommendations coming from two young university researchers, Magpie and Jake. While they probably consider themselves to be more scholars of hooking up than of dating, I believe they have stumbled on something significant. As Magpie reports, the secret is: Television.

In What to Take to University (to Get Laid at University), Jake tells students going off to live in a university residence, "All you need is downloaded TV, a heavy duvet and a mattress topper."

It is of course assumed that all university students have laptops that will play the downloaded TV shows. The mattress topper makes the standard dormitory bed soft and comfortable, the duvet makes for a cozy bed that a person wouldn't want to leave.

In What to Take to University (to Get Laid at University) II, Jake suggests an Ikea mood-setting lamp, but I suspect that's just icing on the cake.

I don't believe Magpie and Jake are even on the same continent, but Magpie is completely on board with the television paradigm. In How to Get Laid (an Introduction), she takes Jake's work further and advises on what to expect from a man based on the show he invites his prospects to see.

Battlestar Galactica Guy: If he likes BSG, he's a keeper. I can't imagine hooking up to BSG (okay, I've done it) because it's just so fuckingintenseandgoodzomfg!!!!! that I'd get distracted. But I supposed a guy who likes BSG is Godly, so do him, do him fast.

Kudoes to both of these young scholars. They are out there researching these important topics and doing their own fieldwork. Magpie has even developed a set of instructions for women who would like to watch television shows with a man without sex taking place. ("1. Do NOT go under the blankets.")

Here is Jake's summary:

So to recap, have a comfy bed, and invite people over to watch TV/movies. At the very least how she behaves, whether she agrees to get under the covers/lie next to you etc, is a litmus test for what chances there are of anything else happening, and at the luckiest the spooning will lead to much more and you'll end up having to wash those sheets even sooner than you expected!