Does Frank know?

Near the Bayswater tube station, west London / Sunday, Oct. 7, 2007

Audrey's Weekend in Rehab Update

Here's a progress report from Audrey:

Just before I fell asleep on Sunday night, I figured out what my addiction was and why I needed rehab.

The weekend started off much as planned, although I started rehab late on Friday night, after going to a book sale (6 books and 12 house magazines for $8) and the movies (Hot Fuzz - funny but too violent!). I watched my favourite house show - Relocation, Relocation and read 2 of the house magazines.

I thought that I would have trouble sleeping, because I'd only had popcorn for dinner, and because most of my friends seem to be having trouble sleeping these days (why? is it the male menopause?) but no, I slept soundly all night.

I think my friends were surprised to see me acting normally at the BBQ on Saturday afternoon - drinking my favourite cocktails, making movies of them, singing. They knew I was "in rehab" for the weekend and maybe they expected that I would be different - more subdued? Maybe they thought that I wouldn't drink in rehab?

After the BBQ, I lounged on my couch, watching hockey (too sad) and reading 2 more of the house magazines. Canadian House and Home is my new favourite magazine! (FYI: The new trends are: chandeliers, bold patterns, flower gardens, and small homes.)

I didn't see the Independent Observer on Sunday. Instead, I sat in the sun in the backyard and read another 4 house magazines. Had to force myself to read the Us Weekly (tabloid) that I'd bought on Thursday night. (Yes, some of the movie stars are too thin, beautiful dresses are always in style, and Reese looks happy again.)

In the bath on Sunday night I was thinking about: pink nail polish, the massage I had on Saturday afternoon, cupcakes (where can I get some in Ottawa?), flowered sheet sets, planting flowers, searching the MLS for homes for friends, travelling with friends, and antique armoires. And then it occurred to me: I wasn't thinking about celebrities - I don't really care about the lives of the celebrities; I care about the lives of my friends. And, I like to read house magazines. So, I think my addiction is house magazines.

In case you were counting, I have 4 house magazines left to read. Now that I know I have a problem, should I put them aside?

Being the helpful guy I am, I have found a number of helpful links for Audrey:

• Meet others who want to end their similar addiction at 43 Things.
• Information on the related condition of bibliomania.
• Hope for Audrey - the anti-addiction pill!
  
• Learn more every month about how to tackle the problem with Treatment Magazine.

Hang in there, Audrey! They say the first step is recognizing that you have a problem.