Llama dramarama, part four: the mouth-watering conclusion

What better way to forget your troubles than a trip to stunning Machu Picchu? Unless, of course, the place is lousy with llamas and you happen to have a morbid fear of the ankle-biting Andean amblers.

After pointed accusations from Cedric ("You knew there would be llamas here, didn't you?!") and several lengthy apologies from me ("I will personally hand-wash your little red hat every night for the next month!"), Cedric calmed down and began to relax.

Especially once he realized no health-conscious llama would ever eat a centuries-old gnome with flat feet and wooden teeth.

Next we work on Cedric's fear of John Baird's hair ... Oh, right, that's my unending phobia ...

Llama dramarama, part three

After a few hours with the photo during our Cusco sojourn, Cedric got used to the idea of being around an actual llama.

So we clambered down four flights of stairs (a lengthy procedure for Cedric) and the tiny troll calmly posed for this photo. I barely had the heart to tell him it wasn't a real llama.

Still, Cedric considered it a step forward. He really is a glass-half-full kind of gnome.

Llama dramarama, part two

Cedric and I have spent a couple of days talking about llamas and alpacas. It is the first step in my plan to help the little gnome get over his fear of the four-legged Andean creatures.

Today we made a major breakthrough: Cedric was able to look at a photo of a llama without shivering violently, falling over or vomiting.

It helps that the tiny man loves to sing: Alpaca-p my troubles in my old kit bag ... (whistling follows).

Cedric thinks he is so clever.