Shannon Tweed vs. Jesus

It's the Big Day folks. She's been hobnobbing around her old haunts the past 48 hours. Hubby has got the big show tonight. He's assured us that his wife has no hard feelings about the proclamation fiasco. As he put it: Not everyone loved Jesus either.

Given Ms. Tweed was a regular staple around the Elgin Street scene of her day, having lived on Frank Street as well as working at the former Peppers, I think she would have made a great Muse for the Irregulars. In her honour, I suggest this day and Ms. Tweed be proclaimed the ESI's Honourary Muse Day.

Getting back to the comparison to Jesus point, lets take stock of these two celebrities and see where the chips fall:

Jesus: Started with 12 followers which evolved into millions
Shannon: Crowned Miss Ottawa Valley 1977 and went on to Playboy
Point: Tie

Jesus: Can walk on water
Shannon: Can walk in 6 inch heels
Point: Jesus (by a margin)

Jesus: 1965 New York Times declared his father dead
Shannon: Playboys 1982 Pet of the Year
Point: Shannon

Jesus: Never once lived in Ottawa yet every Sunday is His day
Shannon: Lived in Ottawa for 4 years but never has had her day
Point: Jesus

Jesus: Died on the cross for our sins
Shannon: Two words: Hef and Gene
Point: Shannon (no one likes a martyr)

Better Proclaimers

What's with these politicos going off half-cocked, lately? It's such a prodigal misuse of their big swinging dicks . . .

After belatedly finding that his Slur-of-the-Month Club dealt him very shoddy goods, the PM retracted his latest partisan insult with appropriately bad grace, before a single TV camera in a bare studio. So as not to face the embarrassing prospect of an actual, you know, audience while he did the, ummm, manly thing.

Meanwhile at the local level, Temporary Putative Ottawa Mayor Doug ("Dog") Thompson took a minute off from harrassing innocent coyotes in the 'burbs to become a wannabe proclaimer, as reported below. He then swiftly proclaimed that he is naught but a mere groveller before the wilting rage of councillor Jan "Nobody's Bunny" Harder.

Enough. The Scots-type guys in these pictures are definitely better Proclaimers. They sing. They play. Some pogo gracefully. And on Friday night, in the midst of a superlatively soggy summer, they bore sunshine from Leith to the free Bluesfest stage on York Street. Bless 'em.

A vexing vortex

This test, passed to me by The Sage Scribe, is very brief with only one question. But it's a very important one, especially considering the news of the past month. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please read slowly and give due consideration to each line.

THE SITUATION:

You are in Ottawa. There is chaos all around you caused by a huge mid-December storm with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photo-journalist working for a major Canadian newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water of the Ottawa River. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

THE TEST:

Suddenly, you see four men in the water. They are fighting for their lives, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer ... Somehow, the men look familiar ...

You suddenly realize who they are ... It's Stephen Harper, Stephane Dion, Jack Layton, and Gilles Duceppe!

You notice that the raging waters are about to take them under forever. You have two options: You can save lives or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of the country's most powerful men at possibly one of Canada's most important historical moments!

THE QUESTION:

Here's the question, and please give an honest answer ...

Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?