Location: The neutral place
Present: Coyote, Agatha, the Chair, Independent Observer (later), 4thDwarf(much later), Conchie (much much later)
Guests: Conchie’s [redacted]
The meeting opened immediately with finger-pointing and the “blame-game”
Chair moved that CS should be blamed; Coyote seconded; motion carried
The IO arrived and told those present that he saw 4D waiting for us at [redacted] when in fact he had specifically told us we should meet at [redacted]
The team noted that they were concerned about 4D’s memory and proceeded to add him to the blame list
4D arrives and we pretend that there was no concern
We get back to why none of us can seem to coordinate to meet at the same location
IO gets defensive and says one of the reasons he didn’t go to the original venue was some sort of premonition event he had in addition to some technical failure in his communication technology which he produced as exhibit 1 in his evidence file
The Chair asked if there were one or two ‘m’s in the word 'lam-o'
4D says there is one ‘m’ and that it is best spelt as 'lame-o'
At this point, a phone call is made to find CS who is notably absent; IO forgets to dial 10 digits and has to listen to both official languages of Bell Canada’s lecture about the new system; 4D laughs and says it’s the fault of all of you cell phone users as he points around the table
4D offers some lessons learned
One – we should reply to our emails more often
Two – we shouldn’t change venues within the last 24 hours
Agatha gets concerned about this becoming policy and doesn’t like committing so far in advance
The Chair orders his second mojito
Another call is placed to find CS followed by the requisite profanities in response to her absence;
Some discussion takes place about how CS will respond to our concerns about her commitment and it was decided that she will try to divert the conversation to avoid the issue at hand.
CS arrives with [redacted]
The finger pointing resumes with no resolution but instead further lame-o excuses and escalating levels of sarcasm
Points noted: Aggie was baby-sitting which made it impossible to pick up the phone; CS and 4D actively omit each other from various correspondences with the team
The meeting moves to the victim impact statements
4D is somehow a victim because CS isn’t blogging enough, which the Chair thinks is co-dependent behaviour and duly notes it in the minutes
Coyote feels marginalized and the IO admits he is in a shame-spiral
Aggie is struggling with the yin and yang of having both commitment and abandonment issues with the ESIs but is trying to work through it
The Chair feels victimized for having to take the meeting minutes and uses his usual passive-aggressive methods by filing them several days late
CS feels trivialized because some ESIs wouldn’t join her along with the other traitors
Conchie’s [redacted] had no issues and felt privileged -- the jammy blighter
By this point the mojitos had kicked in and the meeting either went ‘in-camera’ or the Chair blacked out
