Are the MPs Wearing their Tin Foil Hats?

I worry that our MPs and Cabinet Ministers are not wearing their tin foil hats. I was reading a back issue of Hansard's on the bus yesterday when I discovered that some of our opposition members are not wearing them.

As any longtime reader of this blog knows, tin foil hats are necessary to prevent mind control through electro-magnetic rays. (Please keep in mind that while we say "tin foil", aluminum foil is most commonly used, but any electricity conducting metal will do.)

While the copper roofs on the Parliament Buildings should go a long way to preventing a need for foil hats, it is still alarming to thing that our leaders may be vulnerable to mind control.

How do we know that some are not wearing their caps? They as much as say so:

For example, on 26 Sept 2006, Liberal MP Wayne Easter asked about a campaign to undermine the Canadian Wheat Board "using fake letters, manipulating the media, stacked government task forces and circumventing the laws of Canada."

Replying for the government, Chuck Strahl, Minister for the Canadian Wheat Board, revealed that Easter was not wearing a protective cap:

Mr. Speaker, I am surprised the member could say that without wearing his tinfoil hat on a grassy knoll.

On 22 Feb 2007, Minister Strahl reports that MP Easter is once again not wearing his cap after a question about ballots:

Mr. Speaker, I think that the hon. member has his tinfoil cap well removed today.

But was the Hon. Chuck Strahl wearing his tinfoil cap? David Anderson, Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister for the Canadian Wheat Board, confirmed not only that he was, but that he had additional facial coverage:

If members take the time to read the motion, they will see that the minister the other day referred to him through his tinfoil hat.

Almost as bad as not wearing a tinfoil hat is wearing one that does not fit properly. This appeared to be the case on 26 Feb 2008 with some NDP members as pointed out by Peter MacKay after a question from NDP member Libby Davies about a secret agreement with the U.S. Armed Forces:

It sounds to me as if those tinfoil hats are getting a little tight down there.

This problem had spread to the Liberals by 11 March. After a question from Liberal Mark Holland about the possibility of Ministerial involvement in the decision by the OPP to not forward an investigation file on possible conversations between Mayor Larry and John Baird to the RCMP. The Hon. Jason Kenney, Secretary of State for Multiculturalism and Canadian Identity, alerts the Speaker of the House to the danger:

Mr. Speaker, we see the tinfoil hats getting a little tight again over there.

Have you spotted the consistent pattern? Liberals and NDP members either not wearing their foil caps or wearing them improperly. Meanwhile, the Conservative members of the New Government (Can we call them the Old Government yet?) were wearing their tinfoil caps and doing their best to draw attention of the opposition members who were leaving themselves open to mind-control.

Perhaps you are wondering if the Conservatives continue to prudently wear their tinfoil caps during the campaign season. I believe they do, or that at least one local Tory does.

Last week, Avaaz.org released ads attacking the Conservative position on the environment. While Avaaz claimed they had raised funds for these ads in Canada from their 300,000 members, and that they had cleared the ads with Elections Canada, John Baird was not fooled.

He smelled something wrong. Or more specifically, he smelled billionaire mystery man George Soros behind it all and sent out a press release titled: “SHADOWY FOREIGN ORGANIZATION ATTEMPTING TO INFLUENCE CANADIAN ELECTION” This may alarm you, but I urge you to relax because:

1. Baird has made a formal complaint so we can be sure that any nefariosity will be dealt with;
   
2. We can't expect all the billionaires to support the Tories; and
   
3. Baird and the other Tory candidates must be wearing their foil caps or they would have been led astray by the mind control rays.
   

Attention Sorosophobes/philes: We’ve hit the big time, y’all by Kady O'Malley October 6th, 2008 at 11:48 am

Avaaz.ca vs. Baird: The Shadowy Foreign Organization strikes back! by Kady O'Malley October 6th, 2008 at 5:26 pm

How To:

• Tin Foil Hats - for the discriminating

• Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie

• Instructables: Aluminum foil hat

• How to Make a Tin Foil Hat for Your Dog

More Reminiscences for Things in the Past

Following Aggie's and the IO's reminiscences, here are some other things I miss. Although, I am aware that Thomas Wolfe's statement, "you can't go home again," mostly holds true here:

1. Doing my undergrad degree -- all those optional attendance classes. The beauty of all the young, hopeful and enthusiastic people around me. Those earnest and confident discussions. The larger societal acceptance. Never having to be anywhere before 11:30 a.m. The 15-hour a week "full time!" school load. Whipping off mediocre term papers and cramming. Being high.

2. Travelling before cellphones and email existed. The emotional freedom of movement.

3. A time when I told myself that earning money, necessary yet trivial, was something I would do in my future.

4. A time when I didn't worry about my or our future.

5. No fifth thing, but a note to the Chair: I'm a day late. Chair, feel welcome to post.

Raining catechisms and dogmas

Sorree! It's been a rude week. All I've got is a grab bag of random electoral bits and pieces that heartily depress me. Naturally, being a friendly type, I feel compelled to share my joy with you:

• About six millenia ago, when I was a mere pup of a semimythical totemic coyote, I used to think those who held elected office were smarter than me. Or any ordinary mortal. I got older, and just hoped they were. Now, I'm ancient, crotchety, eccentric, and beyond certain that they are not smarter than me. It depresses the hell out of me that dumber critters 'n me run this country. Because I know I don't have the wit or the hubris. And that all the really intelligent ones are - apparently - too smart to go into politics...
• The local Tory candidate has called my den a couple of times now. Inquiring minds want to know: Why is it that he uses call display blocking when he does? Because I really want somebody that sneaky and underhanded representing me in parliament...
• Newspapers this week reported a study that suggests when a group lacks a leader, the person most likely to step in and start running things is a narcissist.
• The Glib & Male lately has been making much of our PM's 'pragmatic ability to learn'. So let me get this straight. He entered politics because he thought he knew what the country needed. Now he's trying to get re-elected by 'pragmatically' shedding the ideological dogma he's held dear for all of these years, but that Canadians dislike. So, ummm, obviously a real idealist. Not in it for the power at all. Or...
• He is also an economist. Given economists' recent track records at understanding the way things work, and running them properly, ummm...
• Meanwhile, south of here, Sarah Palin's ability to chortle and wink out twisted venom, then shrug, moue, and mime ingenue cluelessness when the crowds she's working start sounding like lynch mobs, probably means she has a long career in US federal politics ahead of her. Yucko.

Bleah. Elections have been raining overscripted catechisms and repugnant dogmas on my head all week. I'm soaked and tired. It's nap time. Wake me up when it's over...

Thong Thursday

The Independent Observer got me all nostalgic yesterday. Here are some other things I miss:
1) Cougar work boots.
2) Prosperity
3) Typewriters
4) Massive amounts of pot
5) There is no fifth.

Gone baby gone

We see a number of new condo towers going up in Centretown and I'm of two minds about this.

On the one hand, anything that injects some life and people into the core is good. On the other, I wonder where all these folks are going to eat, shop, stroll and generally enjoy life?

Too many downtown bookshops, cafes, cinemas, grocery stores and restaurants to count have disappeared over the last decade or so. And the only things that seem to spring up in their place are condominiums, office towers and chain-sponsored coffee shops.

Five places I miss:

1. The Canadian Tire store at Kent and Laurier, torn down in 2002. A veritable urban oasis of tools, home supplies, paint and sporting goods. Apparently the smallish outlet did not fit with the corporation's vision of suburban megastores.

2. The Bay Street Guest House. Once a quaint bed-and-breakfast on Bay near Gloucester, it has been a graffiti-strewn wreck for years, endlessly waiting to be demolished along with several other adjacent houses so Richcraft Homes can put up a honkin' big condo building.

3. The Elgin cinema on our beloved boulevard, where Audrey, ESI Cultural Affairs Officer, once toiled as an usherette. Little-known fact: it was the first theatre in North America to have two screens. This foreshadowed the multiplex trend that eventually sent The Elgin to the big box office in the sky.

4. The little cafe just inside the Rideau Centre, across from the magazine shop. It quietly served fine, fresh-brewed coffee, delicious pasta and tasty sandwiches. A perfect place to steel oneself for an afternoon of mall-bound Christmas shopping. I can't even remember its name. But maybe that's a good thing, as I do know the replacement is a Starbucks.

5. There's no fifth thing. It's already long gone.

Image: http://www.magma.ca/~hra/travia.htm