Uses for a Coyote

Just returned from a family reunion and received the following email from a cousin who is having Canada Geese problems --- or, should I say Canada Geese poop problems. The attempted solution is a Coyote blow-up doll:

Do you or does anyone you know have tried and true advice-cum-experience re. making one's pond un-appealing to geese? For the first time in 30 plus years, a family of Canada geese -- as in Make Way for Goslings (yet to be written) -- has decided to summer-over and poop copiously on our turf rather than flying on to Canada.

One non-violent antidote suggested by Google but summarily rejected by me was to spread powdered grape kool-aid mix (sic !) (stomach-ache stuff for geese) around the pond's periphery.

Another suggestion was to rent a border collie for the summer. Good grief....
A friend said she tried flying at them, flapping her poncho wings like a mega-alpha-goose, to no avail.

Other friends said that either some resident snapping turtles or a target coyote worked like a charm; the pond there is now free of the poop-bags (geese).

So we've followed suit and ordered a life-size foam rubber coyote by overnight mail to stand guard on the bank. Whether this wily "predator" with a dangerous-looking, flapping bandana around its neck will end up deterring and dislodging the messy geese or delighting them, is yet to be determined.

I've a Monkey on My Back

and it's name is Freecell.

Gaming addiction is a psychiatric disorder: U.S. doctors

Last Updated: Friday, June 22, 2007 | 9:51 AM ET
The Associated Press

A leading U.S. council of doctors wants to have video game addiction officially classified as a psychiatric disorder, to raise awareness and enable sufferers to get insurance coverage for treatment.

CBC News

I was going to sign myself into rehab on the weekend, but I couldn't find a clinic with broadband wifi access.

Now, it turns out I may have to wait much longer for funded treatment as the AMA wants to study the issue further. (Just like George Bush and global warming.)

Experts oppose video game addiction designation

By Reuters

Published: June 24, 2007, 6:05 PM PDT

Doctors backed away on Sunday from a controversial proposal to designate video game addiction as a mental disorder akin to alcoholism, saying psychiatrists should study the issue more.

C Net News

I hope that by the time the professionals accept that my internet compulsion is an addiction there will actually be treatment for my insurance to fund. I picture a Legion Hall euchre tournament as the methadone equivalent.

How do I know I need this treatment? I used the Young Screening Instrument. You can too because I've created a test that figures it out for you.

Click Here and find out if you have a problem.

That is the first step after all.

Cat-ered lunch

I'm not sure what it was that tipped Aggie off. Coulda been the sudden manic red gleam in my yellow eyes. Coulda been the unseemly fountains of drool. Coulda been the not-sotto-voce-enough, "Oh yeah, you betcha I'll take care if it for you. . . !" Or maybe she knows me a touch too well from previous experience.

But after she asked me to tend to her sizeable cat for her while she's off at her family reunion, she eyed me narrowly and mentioned that if said sizeable cat disappeared in her absence, certain coyotes would suffer. Greatly.

Damn. "What possible good is a sizeable cat that one cannot eat?" I asked myself.

Since then, though, the cat and I have discovered unspoken mutual interests in Dame Agatha's back yard. 'Unspoken' because cats and dogs do not really speak with each other much. . . it's kinda genetic.

Full detente is a way off -- I interpret my agreement with with Aggie to mean that all bets are null & void after she returns, 'specially since I felt it was made under unseemly duress. And crossed my toes whilst she extracted certain promises from me. But meantime, the cat and I have called a temporary cease-fire in order to pursue the kinda lunch we can both appreciate. And I hafta say that teamwork when you're chasin' hot squirrel sandwiches on the hoof can be a good thing...

For whom the Bell tolls

My cell phone conked out in the middle of a conversation today. No problem, I thought: I will use the nearby pay phone.

I inserted a quarter. The phone display told me I had a credit of 25 cents, and requested another 25 cents.

Yes, folks, it now costs 50 freakin' cents to make a pay phone call!

I understand that phone technology is still in its infancy, having only been around for a century. And that Bell Canada is a small startup with poor cash flow. And that people are always willing to shell out more for basic services because, hey, we like doing that.

But this is ridiculous. Yeah, everyone has a cell phone, yada, yada .... no, wait, not everyone does have a cell phone. And the people who don't probably don't because they can't afford one.

So how does Bell make life easier for these poor folks? By dialling up a 100 per cent increase.

Talk about a disconnect.

More than your line is dead

Message left on Chair's answering machine:

Hi, it's Mom…I tried to phone the cable company, but you know what, I think I’m gonna have to get you to do it for me because they keep saying things like "you pressed the wrong button"…I don’t understand what’s going on…and I tried and tried…and all I got was something like a zombie that was coming on…there was nobody there and they kept saying you have to do this and you have to do that…and I kept trying and I couldn’t get a person on the phone…so I’m going to need your help.