Great Google features: A cautionary tale

Overhead in the coffee line-up this morning:

Guy 1: So, I'm not going to the ball hockey tournament in Windsor this weekend?

Guy 2: Why not?

Guy 1: My wife was doing a Google on our home computer and when she typed the letter 'S', the auto-complete displayed 'strippers windsor'.

Guy 2: So, she won't let you go because of that?

Guy 1: I guess. Like what does she think is going to happen?

Conch Shell greets her fellow ESI's, and issues message

Ah, you guys. Thanks for making the Conchie Returns video for me, although aren't you giving your identities away? Yes, it's been a long dry season. But slamming organic food was just too much.
Especially when I know what all those toxins are doing to my fellow marine creatures. You know, all that run off of chemicals goes somewhere. But, on a related note, I have a public message for my fellow bloggers. Not organic, or recycling. No, sustainable seafood. If you care about the future of Conch Shell's essential habitat, maybe you could follow ethical seafood eating guidelines. In short: say no to food produced from bottom dragging the ocean floor (and other horrendous things). Say yes to fish taken in a sustainable fashion: Do a Seafood Search Or print off your handy little guide.
Anyways, that's my one "Save me! Save me!" message of the year.
On a side note, I knew Aggie wouldn't give up juicy details about herself. She hasn't yet even taken off her bandages.

Newsflash: Conch Shell is back!

Conch Shell has finally resurfaced on my blog. It seems that my trashing organic food got a rise out of her.

Alternatives to Muses?

Although Aggie has been trying to make up for 5M's lack of edge, the sad fact is that her life lacks drama that she is willing to detail and she's not mean enough to name initials. With this in mind, I thought I would do a targetted search for women who identify themselves as being perhaps not so nice.

Unfortunately, as you will see by my comments, while some come close to being metabloggable, I failed to find a perfect replacement muse.

AngryBlackBitch: Comments on all the American stories that everyone else is commenting on, with the occasional pointed rant you don't get everywhere, and enough references to vodka and cranberry to you'd think she had a thing for our friend the Chair.

Bitch Ph.D.: A leftist, feminist American academic who invites comments and discussions and seems to get them.

Claiming my Inner Bitch: This self-described progressive, born-again Christian has an amusing adult content warning, but spends more time battling depression and complaining about things than talking about sex.

coldbitch.blogspot.com: A 20-year-old in Singapore who doesn't know how to use periods or the shift key. Calls her boyfriend "mi dearest", gets struck with jealousy, and blames herself for it. Not bitchy.

coldheartedbitch.blogspot.com: Dead blog. Depressed 18-year-old who thought swearing made her a bitch.

coldheartedbitch.com: Porn site. And not a good one.

The Company Bitch: A highly readable blog by a young woman in NYC. I especially like her nicknames, for example: "Re-boyfriend". [If she lived closer to Ottawa, I'd metablog her.]

Confessions of a Horny Bitch : A sex loving and monogamous young woman who gets really worked up by uninformed negative comments on her blog.

Heartless Bitch for sale at Heartless Bitches International

Heartless Bitches International: A club for Heartless Bitches, where those whose applications contain grammar and spelling mistakes are mocked, "nice" guys are pilloried, and you can buy Heartless Bitch merchandise. Definite bitchiness here, but the head heartless bitch just spent over $900 to save her cat's life, on the other hand, she didn't seem to care about the third world people she could have saved with that money.

humorless bitch: Rants on Mac software and U.S. politics that assume you know the context.

innerbitch.com: Under construction

innerbitch.net: Two computer gals who like blogging, sci-fi, and the seafaring novels of Patrick O'Brian. They'd be perfect for the Dwarf, but the one with a cat is married, and the other has a dog. The bitchiness is so "inner" it's invisible.

innerbitch.blogspot.com: A dead blog with a single posting from a woman with poor writing, typing and spelling skills.

kinky bitch: It looks like this young woman who enjoys pleasuring herself and thinking about sex with men is more interested in finding love now.

outlaw bitch: A fellow Canadian who goes apple-picking and coos over baby cows. An outlaw? A bitch? Maybe not.

Reap the whirlwind

Hmmm. What to do, what to do. With all of this back and forth between A)Muse and B)Muse, a coyote feels like he's mostly chasin' his own tail.

Shrug.

'Scuse me, now. I need to go find something I think I left behind. Where did that furry thing go...?